On The Road With Al And Ivy: A Literary Homeless Chronicle - March 2023

- Al HANDA

deltasnake@yahoo.com

And every morning, perched on our stays, rows of these birds were seen; and spite of our hootings, for a long time obstinately clung to the hemp, as though they deemed our ship some drifting, uninhabited craft; a thing appointed to desolation, and therefore fit roosting-place for their homeless selves.

- Herman Melville (Moby Dick)

SOME THOUGHTS ON VAN LIFE AND NOMAD LIFE VIDEOS:

One of the topics on Tik Tok and other social media is "Van Life" and other nomad-type trips, and the contents range from helpful tips and observations to complete disconnects from reality that could only happen if the person was well financed or on a lark to become a social influencer. Many of these brief glimpses are about that kind of life when everything is going right or the kinds of obstacles that come up really are more like vacation hassles (that can seem more serious to a homeless person whose short on cash).

I won't do a formal essay; I'll just riff on the idea in general terms and not get too much into critiquing these videos and shorts. One reason is that van life is a diverse scene of which homelessness is only one subculture. That lifestyle is mainly in the recreation and travel category which really is another subject. There’s no reason to write a piece that surveys the whole scene. Plus for many of the homeless, watching a vehicle travelogue is as real as watching a Foodie cooking show or a demo of the perfectly equipped RV or Van. 

…new… 

The famous American author Jack London decided to live as a homeless person in London and write a book about it. As far as those kinds of investigations go, he probably came the closest to living that life as it was. Even so, he took the precaution of setting up a safe house, which he had to use when the effort to find shelter in bad weather failed. In other words, London had an "out." He could have  walked away at any time and, to his credit, was honest enough to state that in his book. 

The thing is, there is a huge psychological difference between being stuck there and knowing there's an out. One of my most powerful moments was realizing, "This could be my life from now on." When there's still some cash, and it's all very new, it can feel like an adventure or camping trip.

In my Vella books, On The Road With Al & Ivy: The Novel (all three), this realization will be examined in great detail. In Book 2, the character will see that he was at the same crossroad his Grandfather was at while in a concentration camp during W.W. 2; that a decision to face the present and live an unpleasant reality is the only way out of it, even if acceptance felt like surrender. In the case of the main character, that meant not neglecting the small steps that needed to be taken for survival and making he didn't hit bottom. 

The notion of “hitting bottom” is partly myth. I realized that, yes, short of death, it can always get worse. I was living in a car with my dog, but if my life descended lower into backpacking, I'd have lost Ivy and most of what I still owned. Maybe I mean that the "hitting bottom moment" is when you realize it's time to stop the slide, even if moving upwards isn't possible at first.

...time has come today...

One thing I don't see in many of the videos and shorts is the element of time and the related problems of fatigue or emotional distress that the homeless deal with. A little problem that a vacationer will deal with as an annoyance or bump in the road can feel like a disaster to people dealing with depression or mental illness.

For example, one person demonstrated an electrically heated sleeping bag and jacket, making it seem like a successful hack for sleeping in a vehicle in winter snow. As far as success, yeah, kinda, sorta, maybe...but sleeping in a vehicle even when it's only 30+ degrees is colder than you can imagine. A good sleeping bag helps, but even allowing for a heated bag or jacket, here's what can happen throughout a winter, which would be maybe two or three months, 60 to 90 days in a row.

1. Can't find a safe place to park that night. You don't dare get too comfortable.

2. Money's tight that day; you've had to choose between batteries for a heating device at today's prices, food, or gas. I'd pick batteries in a severe winter, then gas and food last. I go to bed hungry. 

3. Heating devices like these do fail. Do you have the cash to replace it that day, or is it a mail order item. Do you even have a mailbox? If not, do you know where the nearest shelter is, safe or not, as a place to retreat to? In warm weather, no big deal. We're talking about months of cold that can kill you in winter. These devices have to work every single day in weather where a few people die every year from exposure in cars if they get stranded.

4. A druggie gets pissed at you and puts a rock through one of your windows. I've seen that happen. If your insurance deductible is too high, you'll have to use precious cash to fix it ASAP in the snow. Until then, it’ll be a garbage bag or cardboard, and your car (and you) will be wet (and very cold) inside after cleaning up the mess.

Also, can you cover the motel bill if the car has to stay in the shop? 

5. Your car battery dies. No charge for a bag that uses 12V until you get a jump, run the car and waste valuable gas, and that's for a battery in good condition. If it's near it's "end of life" and doesn't hold charge well, I wouldn’t run a device off it.

The list could go on. Having lived through a few winters in the Midwest, if I had to live in a car, it'd be time to head South where snow would be the least of your problems. The margin of error when the temperature goes below zero is too tiny to try 60-90 days of it. No reputable survival expert would make it seem like a simple matter of some clever hacks.

...idiots...

There's one other element that these videos don't cover; we called them "idiots," or the party pooper or toxic types that always show up and ruin everything. A common phrase out there (in the areas I was in) was, "Things were fine until the idiots showed up."

I'll give an example from my Vella book. There was a parking lot that was known to be "quiet," and store management and police would turn a blind eye to the occasional overnight Camper if they didn't make trouble. It was a good backup when things got too rowdy in the primary place I was staying. One day a large party, called "The Caravan" in my novel, arrived and set up a large, sprawling camp right up against the side of a store. Around a dozen in vehicles slept there, and maybe another dozen came and went on bikes, many of whom were young drug runners. I'm sure you get the picture.

They caused so much trouble that the lot was closed to any homeless within a few days, and Private Security was hired to patrol and question anyone in the lot after dark. That group hit every place where the homeless stayed, and within a month, people like me had to head for another city. It wasn't just groups; it could be individuals who would show up and pull crazy stunts that the group there couldn't control and would force the cops to clear out the area. Unfortunately, nomadic life and homeless videos don't generally cover this subject for various reasons, some of those being common sense to avoid retaliation.

It's not just a homeless thing; most groups, bars, or events see this type of personality at some time or another. You may not hear about idiots in the videos, but they're there, and macho warrior ass-kicking or confronting them often doesn't work (just like in respectable life).

...getting back...

Getting back to the general subject of nomadic life, it was a way of life for most Native American tribes, migrants, settlers, hobos, and mountain men. In 2016, the homeless scene in the four main areas I inhabited wasn't just meth heads in tents pitched on the sidewalks. The scene encompassed a variety of types; RV, Van, campers, cars, to different subcultures of "backpackers" (homeless who lived out in the open, which included those who had their belongings in shopping carts).

I avoided tent cities and large camps. Those places are basically anarchies ridden with crime and often run by cliques. Plus, those can harbor bike chop shops and other illegal activities, bringing trouble.

...classes...

There were economic strata. Most of the RV'ers were retirees or had some regular income. Van, Camper, or car homeless generally had at least an irregular source of cash, and many had jobs in retail which wasn't enough to get a roof over your head in Silicon Valley. If anyone in a vehicle was a heavy drug user, it was only a matter of time before they dropped into the backpacker life.

The Backpackers were generally people hitting the end of the line, many having had a vehicle in the beginning. Some groups were ad-hoc gatherings of runaways or drug users, mainly young. If they didn't end up trafficked, they often moved on with other runaways heading north to the Pacific Northwest or south to Southern California, returned home, or entered the penal system.

Drug use wasn't a universal trip in every area. Many used it; many didn't. Those you see in homeless stories in the media are the ones who can't move away from a camera, and not all are stoned. If nobody else, at least the ones running bike chop shops in a tent city are generally straight. I went the full 13 months without taking a drink or using. It wasn't hard, because even at my lowest points, I could see what catastrophic damage meth could inflict and more to the point, it was apparent that walking around drunk or stoned was a hazardous thing to do out there.

... R.V...

Even RV'ers with fixed incomes didn't have it easy. The older vehicles could break down and be stuck for days. Some groups would have a guy who could fix the common problems, but one couple I knew had to sell theirs off and go back to living in a car when a breakdown was too expensive to fix. 

…Walmart…

As far as these Van Life videos, it reminds me of the time when the media did a stupid thing without regard for who it hurt. Not all, of course, but more than a few.

Several years ago, a story came out where Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas mentioned that he loved to travel by R.V. across the county and stay in Walmart Parking lots to save on motel bills. Countless media outlets eagerly passed on this tip, and soon afterward, cities began passing ordinances forbidding overnight camping in Walmart (and other) lots. 

This unofficial refuge had been an open secret among travelers and homeless who followed an unspoken and occasionally documented etiquette to only stay one night. Still, after the publicity, five thousand places to sleep overnight were essentially shut down, and overnight camping was criminalized in those places. Even in 2016, many businesses would try to turn a blind eye to the practice, but the now larger crowds included people who set up bbq grills, stayed until kicked out and dumped their sewage on the pavement as a screw-you to store management. Those are all things I saw out there.

...media attention...

Same with media stories on homeless camps. As a general rule, when we heard or saw such stories, that was the signal to avoid the area, as it was only a matter of time before the crackdown came. These Van Life, videos and media stories are going to happen. Tens of thousands of tents on L.A. streets can't be ignored by the media, and some good can come of social media shorts and news stories, but watching someone in a well-equipped van demonstrate hiding in a parking lot that forbids it doesn't teach much. It’s advice on how to break the law, and following it in the wrong place or time might be just a speed bump for a traveler, but for a homeless person, any legal trouble can seriously disrupt his or her life.

Many of those videos aren't in places I've been in where the vehicle could get jacked or broken into. There were at least two attempts to break into my car that I knew of, for example, in relatively safe areas.

...first hack...

The first hack I'd demonstrate if you want to live in a van for a year is how to make it look like such a piece of crap that no one would think it has anything valuable in it. The problem then would be that some might think you're a low-level dealer, and the cops would start paying attention, as would druggies who'd think you were carrying.

If you have the cash, the advice to camp in national parks is viable. However, in California, for example, most nice campsites with good facilities are nearly as expensive as motels. There was one that was very cheap but so dusty and hot that dirt bikers were mainly the ones who used it, and the descriptions of the place at night by other homeless scared me off.

...considering...

Don't just watch the videos if you want to consider Van Life. Also, get the scoop from those who tried it for a long period and either quit or will tell you the hard truth about the upside and downsides. I did 13 months out there. By the last month, I was at the end of my rope, though it might have been different if I'd ensured I was in an R.V. or Camper right from the start. However, I didn't want to stay on the road and decided never to invest in any more comfortable arrangement that could make me feel settled down. Nomadic life might be viable and worth a try, but if you do, be like Jack London and ensure there's an exit back to regular life. Otherwise, it can be a hard road back.

One final note: You may have noticed that I never give specific advice. Info from a video that's even just weeks old can be very wrong.

One good example is a short that showed a good way to park in lots that don't allow overnight camping. The problem no matter how clever the tips are, as a general rule, store management, and employees do know you're out there. Especially if others have taken similar advice and several vans and campers now are parked there with you. If an R.V. arrives to join in the fun, forget it, that's like a huge banner that will draw attention from management. Even if it doesn't stay, it'll be spotted and watched along with the other cars. 

Always assume that the influencer on video isn't the only one on that street or lot.

…camouflage…

The worst tip was immediately covering the windows to allow one to keep inside lights on and not be spotted. The idea was that it'd blend into the darkness. However, most lots are now well-lit as a safety measure, and a vehicle with covered windows will be seen and immediately flagged as a camper. Plus, for safety, you should park in lit areas and near cameras if possible, not in dark corners.

There's also a myopic view here. The influencer was focused on evading management and staff, which is wrong. Most staff aren’t obsessing about the homeless; they're busy running a business. Most of the time, you'll be flagged by a passerby or customer who'll bring it up to the manager or call the police.

Plus, if there's Security, they may not bother you but will note in their report they saw a probable homeless person in the lot, with description, time, and license plate number. Virtually all Security forces keep reports, and if there's an assault, car break-in, or robbery in that lot, the police will check those reports to see if any suspicious people were there. 

So you could end up a suspect or witness. Again, for a traveler passing through, not a huge deal. For a transient, there’s a reason why it could be a serious matter to be a witness. You can guess why.

In another place, like a hospital parking lot (which I’ve seen recommended), covering all of the windows is very dangerous as you'll lose situational awareness, as those places have a higher incidence of assault and rape due to nurses walking back to their cars at all hours. Security generally escort nurses out and will spot a covered vehicle. If you're male, you can become a suspect in the wrong place at the wrong time. If female, you'll be a convenient alternative for a rapist if no nurses are in the lot. That’s not just a scare story. I was in Security for six years when I was younger, and knew guys who worked at hospitals, and it’s a good idea to avoid using those lots to sleep in.

My point is, don't take these videos' tips and hacks at face value. Their success on camera could be sheer luck; believe me, areas where the homeless congregate can be wildly different in culture and level of safety, both of which can change instantly.

There's the old advice not to believe everything you see on the Internet. That's true for Van Life videos.

LOST IN TRANSLATION: WHY CLASSIC BOOKS CAN SEEM BORING

Suppose you published a book, and the readers demanded that it be rewritten to be more funny, sexy, or "authentic." Add to that if readers felt the work failed to capture the true flavor of the era or situation and referred people to a fan fiction version of your book that was supposedly better.

That would strike most authors as outrageous, right? However, that happens all the time with translated classics, though in a slightly different way.

I recall checking out the reviews for a particular classic and saw that people would claim that this or that translation was the best. For example, one person claimed that none of the versions was perfect, but the one by an Englishman did the best to capture the satiric intent. Another felt that a more modern edition was more readable and more faithful to the original author's intent. The book was Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes, and personally, I've never particularly liked the book. However, the version by Tobias Smollett came the closest to being likable (for me). One reason is that I enjoyed his original novels, which were hilarious if you liked 17th Century humor.

I also admit that my view is skewed from watching the Mister McGoo cartoon version as a child.

When perusing translations, it can feel like reading different books, particularly with the Iliad. Due to the difficulty in interpreting ancient Greek, a translator can create a non-literal interpretation due to elements like different grammatical rules or cultural bias. I could describe how the Iliad has been translated, but the best way to illustrate the point would be to show some examples. So I picked several versions and will show you how the different opening paragraphs of Homer's work look. These excerpts say the same thing but with varying approaches to interpreting the original Greek.

Iliad Translations (in no particular order):

"Achilles' wrath, to Greece the direful spring Of woes unnumber'd, heavenly goddess, sing! That wrath which hurl'd to Pluto's gloomy reign The souls of mighty chiefs untimely slain;

- Alexander Pope (1715 trans.)

"Of Peleus' son, Achilles, sing, O Muse, The vengeance, deep and deadly; whence to Greece Unnumbered ills arose; which many a soul Of mighty warriors to the viewless shades Untimely sent;

- Edward Earl of Derby (1864 trans.)

"Sing, O goddess, the anger of Achilles son of Peleus, that brought countless ills upon the Achaeans. Many a brave soul did it send hurrying down to Hades, and many a hero did it yield a prey to dogs and vultures,"

- Samuel Butler

"Sing, goddess, the anger of Peleus' son Achilleus and its devastation, which put pains thousandfold upon the Achaians, hurled in their multitudes to the house of Hades strong souls of heroes, but gave their bodies to be the delicate feasting of dogs, of all birds,"

- Richmond Lattimore (1951)

"Sing, Ο goddess, the destructive wrath of Achilles, son of Peleus, which brought countless woes upon the Greeks, and hurled many valiant souls of heroes down to Hades, and made themselves a prey to dogs and to all birds [but the will of Jove was being accomplished],"

- Theodore Alois Buckley (1873)

"Sing, MOUNTAIN GODDESS, sing through me That anger which most ruinously Inflamed Achilles, Peleus' son, And which, before the tale was done, Had glutted Hell with champions—bold, Stern spirits by the thousandfold; Ravens and dogs their corpses ate."

- Robert Graves (The Anger Of Achilles 1959)

"Alpha the prayer of Chryses sings: The army's plague: the strife of kings. Achilles' baneful wrath resound, O Goddess, that impos'd Infinite sorrows on the Greeks, and many brave souls los'd. From breasts heroic; sent them far to that invisible cave That no light comforts; and their limbs to dogs and vultures gave;"

- George Chapman (1598)

"Anger be now your song, immortal one,

Akhilleus' anger, doomed and ruinous,

that caused the Akhaians loss on bitter loss

and crowded brave souls into the undergloom,

leaving so many dead men—carrion

for dogs and birds;"

- Robert Fitzgerald (1974)

"AN ANGRY MAN—THERE IS MY STORY: THE BITTER RANCOUR of Achillês, prince of the house of Peleus, which brought a thousand troubles upon the Achaian host. Many a strong soul it sent down to Hadês, and left the heroes themselves a prey to dogs and carrion birds,"

- W.H.D. Rouse (1938)

"Rage-Goddess sing the rage of Peleus' son Achilles, murderous, doomed, that cost the Achaeans countless losses, hurling down to the House of Death so many sturdy souls, great fighters' souls, but made their bodies carrion, feasts for dogs and birds,"

- Robert Fagles (1990)

"I Thée beseech, O Goddesse milde, the hatefull hate to plaine,

Whereby Achilles was so wroong, and grewe in suche disdaine,

That thousandes of the Gréekish Dukes, in hard and heauie plight,

To Plutoes Courte did yéelde their soules, and gaping lay vpright,

Those sencelesse trunckes of burial voide, by them erst gaily borne,

By rauening curres, and carreine foules, in péeces to be torne.”

- Arthur Hall (1581)

 "Anger--sing, goddess, the anger of Achilles son of Peleus, that accursed anger, which brought the Greeks endless sufferings and sent the mighty sould of many warriors to Hades, leaving their bodies as carrion for the dogs and a feast for the birds;"

E.V. Rieu (1950)

As you can see, these excerpts say the same thing, but most writers can tell that most of these aren't literal translations but phrases that the translator felt expressed Homer's intent in modern English. Those who aren't used to reading classics might even think these guys are writing a new story but making sure the essential plot points are covered, which is probably true.

For example, Pope's version isn't literal, but he intended to change Homer's verses into modern poetry (for his era). Rieu intended to create a prose version as he felt it'd be more accessible to readers. Graves wanted to capture what he felt was the way the story was told back then, which was as a satire. Some of the writers reinterpreted an earlier translation, and so on.

Generally, if I find that a particular classic seems dry or (gasp) boring, my first step is to see if another translation is available. Many classics that started as non-English literature are only as good as the translator, and that can mean that one is looking for one that pleases you just as much as being true to the original author's work.

I had that problem with the Odyssey or the Tale Of Ullyses as some know it, in finding the various versions a bit dry or dull. Many people prefer it to the Iliad as the complex story appeals to modern readers. It might have struck a different chord if the story was more like Graves' assertion that the translations are bowdlerized from earlier, very rowdy folk versions.

It's plausible that the Odyssey was originally a ribald tale like Chaucer's work. Most people know "1001 The Arabian Nights" as a collection of fairy tales, but the translation by Sir Richard Burton (the explorer, not the actor) is a saucy, erotic version that makes more sense if the woman was telling the stories to distract the King who married women and executed them the next morning. Burton's bacchanalia, or romantic Hollywood love story, is technically a translation, and a reader can pick one or both.

One thing that can make a classic seem dull is if you see a movie version first. The stories in older literature often unfold at a slower pace, and films often stress action, insert values from a different culture, focus on stars, or do not even bother with being faithful to the book. For example, the movie "Decline And Fall Of The Roman Empire" (and "Gladiator" which had similar plot elements and characters) is only vaguely similar to the book, which was a non-fiction history book by Edward Gibbon, whose interpretation of events was in turn considered inaccurate by some critics.

One interesting situation is where the book and movie are different but excellent. "Ben Hur" by Lew Wallace is a good example. The movie version starring Charlton Heston is considered a classic, but most who've read the book find Wallace an excellent storyteller. I say "most" because there'll always be someone who won't like it.

One classic example of the book and movie having a different interpretation is "Last Of The Mohicans" by James Fenimore Cooper. The film was a hit, and I remember one review that claimed that it modernized and breathed new life into a "hoary old book." 

As someone who loves the book so much that I've always kept a copy in my library, there are a few problems with that critic's statement:

1. The real Pathfinder was an older man who had an atavistic, almost pagan view of Christianity and had constant debates with a young preacher who wasn't in the movie. Those debates were unusually philosophical for the era. The older man was a crack shot and an experienced frontiersman who was eccentrically philosophical and entertainingly feral. He was a fascinating character.

2. The two Mohicans were, in many ways, the real heroes of the book. The father was extremely smart and proficient in hand-to-hand combat, and his son, Uncas, was dynamic and heroic. His death was a significant event. The Pathfinder character in the movie was a combination of the three, particularly Uncas, and the two Native Americans were transformed into stock sidekicks like Tonto of the Lone Ranger TV show. Add a little horniness and Braveheart-like macho, and you have the movie version in a nutshell.

3. The book was also about Mohican culture's extinction, represented by Uncas' death. Cooper did fall into the trap of having good and bad Indians, which corresponded to which tribes were allied with the British or Americans. Still, many book scenes featuring detailed conversations with or within the tribes were left out. It was very much a book about Native Americans.

Of course, that's my opinion. You might feel differently about the book and movie. However, the difference in interpretation between the movie and book examples isn't unlike the process of translation of classics. The English version can result from many factors, including the translator's command of the foreign language, what they think is the author's intent, any bias (like inserting a Christian view), how literal it should be, and the agenda.

The agenda is an essential factor. For example, the book and movie about "Spartacus," the Gladiator who led a rebellion against Rome, portrays him as a sensitive, monogamous Freedom Fighter who fought against the tyranny of Rome. The intent was to create a good versus evil tale. But, like most ancient wars, the real battle was probably brutal, as Spartacus must have understood what would happen if he lost. 

My point is that's how Spartacus was portrayed in the 60s. I'm sure the tale was told differently in that era. If one sees how the perception of Native Americans evolved from barbarians to human beings, the different attitudes in each stage would be a bias that could affect the translation of any tribal stories or philosophies.

So, if that classic book you're reading seems a little dull, it may not be the original author's fault. But, on the other hand, don't get me started on Balzac or Tolstoy; I'm not sure any translation will make me want to read those books. Sometimes, you're just not going to like the author.

ON THE ROAD WITH AL & IVY: THE NOVEL

Reprint of Episode 2: Police Manhunt And A Visit From A God

Eleven-Thirty Saturday Night

Your face presses down on dirty wood,

dodging hot lead skimming over the dance floor

very sudden like,

A lead slug can show you quick

if the preacher's right on questions

you don't want answered right now,

One scared young dude

caught in bad company

in a juke joint full of souls running drunk.

- Manuscript Excerpt from Jook (June 1986)

Gleemon Street is lit up like grand opening night at a used car lot. The levee fence looks like an eerie grey screen with a black curtain behind it. No flood light can pierce the darkness behind it.

Another patrol car skids to a stop at the edge of the grass area surrounding the entrance. The cop is there to close it off as an escape route.

There are only two ways to go. If you're camped out on the West Bank of the Slough, then there's a dirt road heading west towards the orchards that run along the bank further down. If you're on the east bank side next to the fence, it's foolish to try and go down a 20-foot slope to cross the creek bed in the dark, so you head south and cut right at the fork towards the water pump station next to Highway 152 a half mile away.

You can hop the fence into a large cabbage field that borders the next shopping center, but the cops know this and already have a car stationed there. There's no point in coming back out. If you stay in the dark, you can move faster than the police can search.

My night vision returns along with a regular pulse; it wasn't me they were looking for. There are over a dozen police cars now. Some are in the adjacent parking lot with officers on foot searching with shotguns. Others are about a hundred yards off near the access gate, sealing off the main levee road entrance. I see flashlight beams moving south into the Slough, some stopping as they begin to come across the camps.

It's a manhunt, probably another armed robbery downtown. The police will try to herd the fugitive back into the parking lots or farm fields further south. Leaving isn't a bright idea. There'd just be more cops and lights in my face, each one having to decide whether to search me or shoot. If they're looking for a suspect on foot, then I'm safer parked between two police cars than driving off and possibly running into an armed dude who needs an escape vehicle.

The search continues for half an hour. Finally, I decide it's a good time to move into the North parking lot of the store but see that several other homeless have already done so. Too many, including one I suspect is a dealer, so I head over to the other side and patiently wait out the cop there that puts me under surveillance.

There's no point in moving about; I'll keep running into police screens. The best thing to do is just act like the homeless person I am, so the window shades go up, and sure enough, that's routine looking enough to satisfy the cop, who then drives off. Only a homeless person would sack out in the middle of a dragnet.

I can't stay here. This lot section is a transit route for the druggies who come out to begin the early morning ice or ecstasy ritual of whooping and hollering, throwing off clothes, and getting into arguments with truckers and third-shift store employees out collecting carts.

As I begin to leave, a tall young-looking homeless guy comes through a break in the fence line, known around here as the south gate, walking towards me and mouthing some nonsensical words. I don't stare or do anything that could be interpreted as aggression.

The angry ones are easy to avoid, you can hear them coming, and they're already pissed off at something else. The ones that just stare and smile scare me; they're still looking for trouble. I watch as he saunters away, taking off his shirt, throwing it on a small tree, and singing some song at the top of his lungs. Molly's got his blood boiling, and he'll keep stripping until the cops pick him up.

I return to Gleemon Street and see that the squad cars are gone, so I park in the same place. I don't have a better plan anyway. Besides, after all the excitement, the area should be quiet.

I look over and see that Ivy has fallen asleep, which means no trouble. She stays wired if there's any disturbance within fifty yards. This isn't a good night to stretch out in a sleeping bag, so I curl up in the front seat and stare at the old cloth canopy starting to come down like a big brown bubble.

After a few months in the car, I've begun to hear voices, like a conference call with God, Ivy, and others speaking in and out of turn. I don't get disturbed hearing them, I've talked to myself often enough to know which one is me, but God help me the day I can no longer tell. There are a lot of people like that out there on the levee.

I carelessly open a window to let in cool air. A tall, muscular bald guy, kinda biker-like, suddenly comes to view in front, stands off about ten feet, then shows his hands and hails me, "Hello Car," in the old Wild West Style of approaching a strange camp, begins to approach slowly. That's how a stranger tells another on the street that they mean no harm. If it was an attack, it'd have come suddenly from behind.

I silently curse; it's a rookie mistake to open a window without checking, but suddenly closing it could be seen as a sign of fear or panic. You never know how a stranger will react to that. I act nonchalant, which is a safe move as it won't trigger any defensive reaction. He's probably scared, too. Even the big bulls can get humbled right quick out here. I smile and greet him with the casual air of a fellow street urchin but don't show my hands. It's better to leave a little doubt, and that makes him hesitate and stop a few feet away.

It's just a meth head still in high gear, and now comes a ten-minute speech about how harmless he is, which is good to hear from someone who looks strong enough to twist my head off. He continues with a long monologue punctuated with broad sweeping hand gestures and, at one point, pretending to run somewhere. It sounds like he's having a good night; the verbal riffing moves along like a rock and roll anthem with a great guitar solo in the middle.

I lay back in the seat, right hand discreetly covering a metal bar and pepper spray, listening to Ivy's snoring, and gazing at the stars as he drones on and on. It's stupid to use a knife out here. If I bruise his head or hands with the baton, that's the end of it. He probably wouldn't even remember how he got it. A stab wound gets reported, and we both end up in jail.

The meth must be nice and soft because he's soaring, feeling like a benevolent God, and tonight we're under his protection. The monologue slows down, and I sense it's safe to pretend to yawn and close the window. He nods and moves on, still talking, and the night becomes quiet.

I'm drifting off, beginning to dream, regret, blame, and wish for things. I'm exhausted but prepared to drive off if I see the guy coming back. He'd be coming from the rear this time and had a good look at the car and its contents. I only average three hours of sleep a night, so staying vigilant's a struggle. Sometime during that process, sleep comes, and then it's just the dreams.

This one dream comes often enough that I remember it after waking. I'm on a stage, playing music, and there's no audience, just blackness. The band members vary over time; sometimes, friends or family, strangers, the faces change. Other times I can see an audience, but I'm alone, playing this acoustic guitar with my ear pressed to the sound hole, listening to the echo. Lately, it's been with past friends with a packed audience, all in a happy mood, but I'm standing there, indifferent to it all, and there's just silence. Finally, I walk off the stage and then wake up, and for the rest of the day, the music that usually runs through my head is absent, with no desire to hear any.

A few months ago, a night like this would have made me look elsewhere for a place to sleep, but now, in the sticky hot summer of 2016, I know that this is as good a place as any, and settle down for a stay that'll last until this seam closes and it's time to scatter with the other homeless to find another crack in the wall.

END OF EPISODE

Read Episode 3

UPDATE ON ON THE ROAD WITH AL & IVY: THE ANTHOLOGY VOL. 1 (2016-2018)

I’ll be pulling this ebook off Kindle Unlimited sometime this month and will resume free distribution on other sites. The main reason, besides shifting the focus to wider readership is that this Anthology will come out as a revised version sometime this year. I’ve obtained most of the social media posts from this period and will insert edited versions into the book in chronological order. This adds the day to day observations and activities which will add continuity and many of the blog entries will make more sense in context. Also, I’ll add new commentary to make this volume feel like a chronological account of the period. Until then, it makes sense to make this version free to increase interest in the new edition.

BE SURE TO CHECK OUT THE DELTA SNAKE REVIEW ON THIS SAME SITE

Here's info on each of my Vella books:

The Quitters

https://www.amazon.com/kindle-vella/story/B09PC3L6PC

I, Ivy

 https://www.amazon.com/kindle-vella/story/B0B3RCBT4D

The Forbidden Lost Gospels Of Murgatroyde

 https://www.amazon.com/kindle-vella/story/B0BJ2TW4P1

The Boogie Underground Think Tank: How To Survive The End Of Civilization

 https://www.amazon.com/kindle-vella/story/B0BG6LNXTG

The Adventures Of Queen Khleopahtra: Ruler Of Egypt, Time Traveler, and Literary Detective

 https://www.amazon.com/kindle-vella/story/B0BJC122G7

Please check out and listen to my music on Spotify, YouTube, Apple Music and other music sites. Please add any cuts you like to your playlists!

The Delta Snake Review

A MONTHLY ONLINE PUBLICATION 

EDITOR & PUBLISHER: AL HANDA

deltasnake@yahoo.com

Contents Copyright 2023 By Al Handa unless otherwise noted.

MARCH ISSUE:

- Interview: Michael Des Barres

- Top Ten Glam-Rock Albums Of The 70s

- Classic Album Review: Lou Reed’s Metal Machine Music

- Classic Album Review: Stephen Stills 2

- Blues, Rap, and ChatGPT - Part 2

- Gear Talk: Fender Blues Harmonica

QUICK TAKES: 

- Will AI Replace Musicians?

- The Revolutionary History Of The Charango

- Industrial Dance And Shuffle - Arms Versus Legs?

Special Preview: Excerpt Of Episode 3 from Vintage Musical Instrument Reviews - A Myth Busting Primer For The Layman - The Regal R-210 And Thoughts On Parlor Guitars In General 

Michael Des Barres graciously granted The Delta Snake Review an interview on February 24th which covers highlights from his early careers as an actor and rock star. It also covers his long career as a DJ for Little Steven's Underground Garage on SiriusXM and the documentary about his life released in 2020 and still on several streaming sites.

Des Barres started his remarkable career as an actor at age eight and landed his first movie role in the classic 60s film, "To Sir, With Love," starring Academy Award Winner Sidney Poitier.

Michael became a Glam Rock star with the band Silverhead in 1972, who released two studio and a live album before disbanding. He moved to Los Angeles to marry Pamela Miller (an actress and member of the infamous GTO's) and formed the band Detective, who Jimmy Page signed to Swan Song Records.

He also continued his acting career in the 80s with appearances in WLRP In Cincinnati, as the character Murdock in the original MacGyver, and other roles in TV and film continue into the present. Those are too numerous to list here, and the reader can check out his website and IMDb listing for a full filmography.

Also in the 80s, he formed a band with ex-Sex Pistols Steve Jones, Blondie's Clem Burke, Nigel Harrison, and the Sales Brothers (from David Bowie's Tin Machine), who opened for Duran Duran. That led to being asked to front Power Station after Robert Palmer left. He also co-wrote a number-one hit with Holly Knight in 1983.

Michael added radio broadcasting to his resume in 2014 as a DJ for Little Steven's Underground Garage on SiriusXM (channel 21), which he still does.

A highly acclaimed documentary about his life began streaming in 2020 (details in the interview).

It was a phone interview, and though there were planned questions, it wasn't necessary to follow a structure. Michael is down to earth and an excellent communicator, and he gave me a candid and entertaining account of his early life. We then covered his current projects to close out the conversation.

Note: All of the images in this interview are reprinted from Michael Des Barres’ Instagram account with his permission. He retains all rights to these images.

What follows is an edited transcript of the conversation:

Q: In your first credited film role in "To Sir With Love," was acting your main ambition at the time?

Well, I didn't have any ambition; I just wanted to enjoy myself. I mean, which would cover all of your questions? After finishing eight years of boarding school, I got a scholarship at Corona, a drama school. Colombia executives came to the school the first month I was there, and we each had to do a soliloquy. I got the cake, a role in the movie (To Sir With Love) at the age of 17!

So I went to Pinewood. I didn't have any ambition, but I knew I wanted to be in the arts, whatever that would be. I didn't know yet. But the first gig I did was in a great movie. That really appealed to me; it was so fantastic.

The Mind Benders were there (in the movie), you know, the band called the Mind Benders, I saw them, and I thought, that looks good.

And, of course, in school, I was into the blues, just like every other young Englishman at that time, and really loved the music. So then the Stones came along, then the Small Faces, and I thought, god, you know, and even post-To Sir With Love, I did a lot of work as an actor (expresses amazement at the turn of events). 

I did the Young Shakespeare Company; we toured Europe with Hamlet, and I came back to London and thought, I really want to play music. I then got a role in this musical called "The Dirty Show in Town," and it was a nude musical!

I became friendly with Andrew Lloyd Webber because I sent him a demo for Jesus Christ Superstar (the musical). He said you really should be in a band and create a band, and I did.

And that was that, and the band was Silverhead.

Q: So that's actually how you got into music? It wasn't because of a particular star or band like The Mind Benders?

No, I never thought I'd do it, playing music. The band, the Mind Benders, plays at the end of the movie. I don't know if you're familiar with the movie, but it ends with Lulu singing the title song with them in the background. I was so excited that I thought, wow, that looks good, and they let me play the guitar. I thought this was fantastic; I'd love to do this.

But I carried on with acting for a while, and as I said, Andrew Lloyd Webber said you've got to sing and introduced me to Purple Records. Purple Records had Ian Gillian, and Ian; he was singing as Judah in the Demos for Jesus Christ Superstar, the magnificent musical.

I signed a deal with them, and then we set up this ad in the Melody Maker, wanting very thin, gorgeous musicians (laughs). The first five dudes to walk in, we took them, and they were fantastic. I didn't know anything about the business! I thought a P.A. was a personal assistant. I didn't know shi-!

Q: When you all formed Silverhead, did you have an idea what the sound would be like?

No, I just knew it was going to be Rock and wrote many songs. I was 19 and sat there with an acoustic and wrote "A Superman" with "My Baby," and all those songs with Rod Davis, and some I wrote on my own. I don't know how I did it.

Q: I heard that story, you know, where Andrew stuck Mick and Keith (of The Rolling Stones) in a room and told them they're not coming out until they finally wrote a song.

Yeah, but I didn't; I didn't need any encouragement. You know, they were way before me. I just had a big guitar. I lived in Hampstead, and I would go play music and just sped the songs up and used the typical three chords in a blues formula, added sexy lyrics, and boom, boom, boom.

Q: So, were you basically trying to find your way in music?

No, I didn't want to. I've never wanted to find my way. I just like singing, and I like writing. I don't have any formula now. There's no formula to my life. So, no plan.

Q: Later on, when you formed Detective, it was said that it came from a conversation you had with Jimmy Page after a Silverhead show.

Not really, well, sort of; I was friendly with Zeppelin, and they liked Silverhead. We were playing one day in Birmingham, and there were about 20 people in the club, and four of them were Led, Zeppelin. We returned to the house, spent a couple of days of madness, and became friends.

And later on, when Silverhead had collapsed for various reasons, and I fell in love with this woman, Pamela, I wanted to come to Los Angeles, which I did after the band broke up, and a guy put me up in his house and he, shall we say, somehow was interconnected with the rock and roll Vikings.

I put this band together with Michael Monarch, John Hyde, and Bobby Picket, called Detective, and away we went. We made that first album, then a second one, and then we broke up (laughs).

Q: Let me backtrack for a second. Obviously, meeting Pamela was a pretty big event in your life. How did you meet her?

I was making a movie in New York; I can't even remember what it was called "Arizona Slim." It was a Warhol movie that initially had Keith Moon, but he'd thrown himself out of the window or something. They wanted a rock star, an English Rock Star, and I just happened to be in New York. 

I went and did it, and Miss Pamela was the star of the movie, and I was married to somebody else for three weeks. It's terrible, awful. It's all in the documentary, by the way. There she was, and she was the most beautiful and smart woman. So then I moved in with her in L.A. and never went back to England. I would go back a couple of times, just for promotional things, for movies.

Q: Was Warhol the Director?

No, He never directed the movie; it was by the young filmmakers surrounding him. You know, he never produced a record either, but he's got all of those titles. But it was under the auspices, talent, and vision of Andy Warhol. Those endeavors were created in his studio, and the movie was one of those.

Q: One of your most famous periods is when you joined Power Station after Robert Palmer left. Was that just to fill in for the tour or a side project for Duran Duran?

It was a side project for John and Andy and Nicky and the other one, can't recall his name, you know, they did it with Simon. They had another band, you know, I can't remember the name of it, but Robert Palmer was the singer in this case and recorded the album "Power Station" with them.

I had just written "Obsession," and it was number one all over the world with Holly Knight. I was staying in, in Texas or somewhere with my friend, Don Johnson, just making a movie, and mysteriously got a phone call from a promoter in New York called Wayne Forte. He said, Michael, what are you doing this summer? I told him, enjoying the incredible success of this song with Holly.

Wayne said, well, there's a band that's just lost their singer because he didn't want to tour to twenty, thirty thousand screaming girls, and that was Robert Palmer. He said, would you like to come to meet them?

They flew me to New York, and then I got into the limo I demanded (chuckles) and was taken to this office. I went up to the fourteenth floor, and John and Tony Thompson, the greatest drummer ever, were sitting in front of me, very nervous; they knew me because the band I had with Jones (ex-Sex Pistols), called Chequered Past, we'd opened for Duran.

They thought I'd make a good singer for the band because I knew how to move an audience, and Robert Palmer really wasn't into that. That wasn't his thing. You know, to get twenty thousand kids going. Just not his thing.

But that guy is brilliant; I was a huge fan of Palmer ten years before Power Station because he was, like, the English Marvin Gaye; the guy was amazing. So, I had three days, and we were at Live Aid four days later.

Q: I saw that it was a good performance.

Yeah, I had four days to rehearse 30 songs.

Q: That was longer than Led Zeppelin had.

Yeah, it was an amazing feeling; we didn't do all those songs at Live Aid; we did them during a six-month tour. I think we only did two songs because Andy's amp blew up, and Bill Graham nearly killed him! I was laughing; there's all the footage of me just laughing because it was so ludicrous to me that I was playing to 2 billion people, and Madonna was, like, looking nervous in the corner with the bracelets, jingle jangling with the nerves and talent, and Dylan sort of smoking feverishly. I mean, it was an amazing experience.

Q: Sure…

You cannot imagine what backstage was like. Mick, Keith, Dylan. You know (laughs), hello? And me. It was just shocking. The most exciting thing about it was we stayed in the same hotel. Can you imagine what that night was like? There's a movie!

Q: It'd be something I'd remember for the rest of my life.

Yeah, I try to forget! (laughs) It was crazy that night; superstars all drunk, you know, stoned, but I had such a ball. I just exploded out there out of sheer fear and joy!

Q: Can we let's talk a bit about your radio program, the Michael Des Barres Program? I believe it runs daily and then rebroadcast on Little Steven's Channel. Where can people hear it?

It's on Sirius XM, Channel 21. It's from five to eight in the morning on the East Coast and from 09:00 p.m. to midnight on the West Coast, every day, Monday through Friday. It's a three-hour program.

Q: When did the show start?

What happened was Steven (Van Zant), and I met when Chequered Past opened for him 30-40 years ago. It was me, Jonesey, Clem, and Nigel of Blondie, and Tony Sales, Soupy Sales' son, amazing guitar, he was part of Bowie's Band (Tin Machine), a really great rock band, and we opened for Stevie Van Zant, and that's where we met.

And then, years later, I had an Internet talk show, and his beautiful wife Maureen heard me interview Marianne Williamson, Pricilla Presley, and many of her favorites. Andrew Loog Oldham was the morning D.J. at Sirius Channel 21 for Steven's Underground Garage, and he left. They needed somebody, so she said, get him; he knows what's happening, what's happened, and what will happen (laughs).

Stevie gave me two weeks to do the show and, after that, said, " Do you want to be the morning D.J. at Little Steven's Underground Garage? " I said, " Yes, I certainly do, and I've done that since for almost nine years.

Q: Live radio, that's an exception these days, isn't it? I mean, a lot of radio stations are automated now, aren't they?

We are at X.M., except we are the only station that anybody should listen to because we play everybody, from The Temptations to Green Day, and we are the absolute exemplary champions of Rock and soul music from both The Sixties and Tomorrow. If you don't listen to it, you're out of your mind because the rest of it is crap.

And I say that I say that with a degree of, you know, I don't really mean that it's all terrible out there and we were better. I don't mean that at all. There's so much music out there from different generations.

We're playing music that is historical in a sense. It would be comparable, I suppose, to Beethoven or going to see Mozart or something. When you hear John Lee Hooker, you realize where all this stuff comes from. It's inspiring to hear music from the Past.

It's also that I play people that are very similar to their (listeners) idols and talk about the history of Stax, Atlantic, Chess, and Sam Phillips with Sun Records, and I get into the history of it. So there's a map that people can follow and thus enjoy the song more because they know why it was written, who wrote it, and all of those things.

I don't just play music. I talk about the music.

Q: Yeah, The Delta Snake Review has its roots as a blues publication that started in the early eighties. I was privileged to meet some people like Big Mama Thornton, Eddie Taylor, and Lowell Fulsom.

Well, we play all those people, then again, we play what they inspired. So there's a history there, a connection. There's no connection between when you hear Greta Van Fleet, who completely copies Led Zeppelin. I mean, they're really terrific, but there's nothing new there, you know?

Yeah, so that's why, if that's the case, I would rather play the motivational bands that created that music; The Faces, Rod Stewart's voice, Terry Reid, Steve Marriott, all those people that sang in that bluesy way. It's been my fascination, and that's what I do. So it's just a question: What do you want to hear, and how do you want to hear it?

In my case, I give the listeners all the facts to help them enjoy the music more. I'll use an example with Howling Wolf, who, in the fifties, was famous for his brilliance, "Backdoor Man," all of those great songs.

But he also created a medical plan for the members of the band; they would be taken care of, which is an incredible thing to do for a Black artist in the South in the fifties. That generosity and thoughtfulness is something that people don't realize about them, about how difficult it was for the black artists in those days to get anything together, or like Big Mama Thornton, Elvis took her song, and et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

So it's a fascinating subject, and Rock and roll and soul music is my metier, as they say in French.

Q: Now, there is this craze about A.I., how it'll change the arts.

I don't know anything about that. I think that's robot stuff, like a Steven Spielberg movie! I have no interest in any of that. I'm interested in Rock and Soul music.

Q: Do you think that shows like yours prove that people still prefer to hear music from a human curator?

I don't even think about that; I know that people who listen to us love music, not, you know, what drumstick was used for James Brown or the kind of flute from this guy. I'm not interested in any of those scientific equations or technical detail. I'm interested in the music that was created in the sixties and fifties and even before that. There's Charlie Patton and his guitar; I'm interested in that music. I'm not interested in synthesizers.

Q: One final question before closing; you mentioned your documentary, Do you want to tell us a little about that?

Yeah, it's amazing, and as you can imagine, I've just briefly talked about my life, but I've worked with amazing people who are in the movies; Van Zant, Don Johnson, Gabriel Byrne, John Taylor, etc., Etc., I was in "Murdoch" and "MacGyver." I've been through a lot of chapters in the history of show business, the wives and drugs, and started the whole thing about R.A.D., which was Rock Against Drugs; I created that.

So my life has been really amazingly different from one year to another, and the people who have been important to me during that time are in the documentary. You can see a vibe that goes through it: fear, joy, drugs, sobriety hits, and misses (laughs). It's a story that is pretty fascinating.

Am I Elvis? No, you know, am I Steve McQueen? No. Am I Alan Freeman, the famous Disc Jockey? No (laughs)

I just had a fantastic life and enjoyed every minute of it. The most important thing is that I got sober all those years ago. Forty-one years off of drugs and alcohol, and I don't recommend it.

Q: Where can people see it?

Amazon Prime, it's all over the place. Just put in, "Who Do You Want Me To Be? I think it's on Hulu, other places?

Q: I'll make sure there's a good list for people. Actually, I think you've had the kind of life that I think a lot of people would love to experience.

Not everything's about fame; it's about what you see and experience. It's hard work, you know. You absolutely have to get into the vibe of really studying.

You know, you ask yourself, what do you want to do? It's not a makeshift thing. You have to be ready, and by that, I mean you have to know your shit, know how to do this, because the business, it's very, very harsh. It can be really hurtful when your record doesn't make it, and that's happened to me innumerable times, where I've been in a band, and I thought, wow, this is it, and it wasn't.

You have to ask, Do you learn? It doesn't defeat you. It makes you stronger. I think that's why I lasted. I became 75 last week, fully intend to be a hundred, and still working.

INFO: 

Michael Des Barres

MichaelDesBarres.com

Note: The Documentary is free on Freevee, Kanopy, Roku, and Tubi TV. It’s free with subscription to Fandor, and can be rented or purchased on Amazon Video, YouTube, Google Play, Microsoft Store, and Apple TV.

THE TOP TEN GLAM ROCK ALBUMS OF THE CLASSIC ERA (1971-1976)

The Glam Rock era began when Marc Bolan of T.Rex performed Hot Love on the BBC in the early 70s. He wore a glittery satin outfit that gave him a decadent androgynous look, a combination of fashion and rock later taken to the limit by David Bowie, Roxy Music, Slade, Mott The Hoople, and many others. That combination of glitz and sexual ambiguity also influenced mainstream stars like Rod Stewart and Elton John.

The examples also show that it encompassed a diverse range of musical styles. There wasn't a single definitive sound. It was really about the show.

If you look it up on the Internet, the most common reason for Glam Rock was a reaction to 60s Psychedelic and other genres that began to develop what was called the "denim look." That might be true. The basic fashion aesthetic had been around for quite a while; the legendary Little Richard shocked audiences with his dazzling costumes, and in Pop, the glittery Liberace was as androgynous as a pianist could get until Elton John. Actually, come to think of it, all three were pianists. Mere coincidence?

The other thing about Glam was that despite massive music media coverage, only David Bowie would cross over as a major star in the United States. T.Rex had the immortal hit single, "Bang A Gong," and Mott had FM hits with "All The Young Dudes" and 'All The Way From Memphis," but the occasional hit was about all that arose from what was a very English phenomenon. 

This means that if you're a true music fan in the States, it's an area to explore and discover new sounds and deep cuts that influenced even the grimly anti-fashion Punks (who made their own fashion statement).

In the olden days, music writers had to describe album cuts in detail to not only give the reader an idea of what the music was about, but unless it was played on the radio for free, reviews had to help the industry sell records. These days, descriptions of any album or song can be shorter as the music is easily accessible on YouTube or streaming services like Spotify. That also frees listeners from reading lengthy reviews that could read like a bad Beat novel or feature long, turgid passages that often reveal more about the critic's mindset than the music.

So, here are the top ten Glam Rock albums of all time, in no particular order, and I'll focus on context and personal observations with the knowledge that any of my statements can be immediately checked, the music listened to, thus helping the reader form a quick judgment as my competence and level of intelligence.

All I ask is you count to ten before hastily condemning my level of taste and ignorance.

One important note, I listed albums purchased and listened to as a teen, not ones pulled off an existing list on the Internet. The comments and impressions come from my memories of that era. How these discs are viewed now isn't a part of this essay.

TOP TEN LIST

Roxy Music (Self-Titled Debut):

My introduction to Glam Rock was at Winterland in the early 70s. I was there to see Steve Miller, Mike Bloomfield, and Roxy Music. Like most of the crowd, I had no idea of what I was seeing. The lead singer was in a 50s leather outfit, but two sizes too small, so his wrists and ankles showed. A guy, who I mistook for a woman with the Lauren Bacall silk pants suit thing going on, was playing what looked like a pinball machine, and a guitarist with insect sunglasses.

I noticed that the crowd looked bewildered, and some were openly contemptuous; for a high school record geek, that was the sign that this group might be worth checking into.

I usually stopped by a record store on the way home from school and chose the one owned by a hippie guy who always seemed to know the latest sounds. He also stayed up to date on the bands coming through the SF Bay Area and made sure their records were in stock. Sure enough, he had the first Roxy Music, and I went home with that and a few other discs that he helpfully suggested needed to be a part of any serious music collection.

I recognized two songs in the live set, "Virginia Plain" and "Remake/Remodel." I'm sure the other cuts had been played, but the song structures were so different that the music made more sense on the disc. Their fashion statement didn't affect me one way or the other. Their album was probably the first glimpse of a much wider musical world than I had seen up until then. It's so experimental that it might not be the best first album to explore Roxy, but for that reason, it's the most classic in my mind.

Mott The Hoople (Live):

Mott the Hoople is one of my favorite Glam bands. There's more of their music on my iPod and playlists than any others in that genre (Except T.Rex). They started in the early 70s as a well-regarded cult band that, as one critic called it, played Bob Dylan "Blond On Blond" style music. They had already begun the transition to a hard rock group through the "Brain Capers" album when David Bowie produced their next album, "All The Young Dudes." They followed that up with two excellent albums before this live set. 

By "Live," their guitarist Mick Ralphs had already left to form Bad Company and was replaced by the wild, undisciplined Ariel Bender. That extra energy (and volume) helped Mott record a classic loud party album that ran through every English Rock cliche and made it kinda sorta maybe new, and it sounded better as the volume knob was turned up. If you want to hear archetype English Rock, this is good as any. In fact, the first time the Sex Pistols' "God Save The Queen" played over the radio, I mistook it for Mott The Hoople.

That's how good they were...

Slade (Alive):

I've always considered them the first AC/DC type band. A hard-rocking band fronted by a vocalist who sang louder than an air raid siren. They also had pop hits, so it was a band that did more than three-chord boogie. The live album was a great way to hear a wide selection of the band's catalog; all played with the amps set to 11.

Sweet (Desolation Boulevard):

The Sweet started as a hard-rocking Bubblegum band with hits like "Willy Wonka" and "Wig Bam Bam." Pretty good stuff, but then came "Desolation Boulevard" with the one-two punch of "Ballroom Blitz" and "Fox On The Run" that melted a few radio speakers in the Summer of '74.

If Led Zeppelin had been a band with a sense of humor, they'd have come up with a number like "Ballroom Blitz."

Alice Cooper (Killer):

This 1971 album took me by surprise. I'd missed his last couple of albums because they played Frank Zappa-influenced rock appearance in the movie "Medicine Ball Caravan," which made me curious enough to buy their first album, "Pretties For You" from a cutout rack. I heard "Be My Lover" on the radio and couldn't believe it was Alive Cooper, but I quickly got caught up. I think his best album was "School's Out," but Killer is the one that made me a fan.

T.Rex (Electric Warrior)

Depending on my mood, my favorite T.Rex album is "The Slider" or "Unicorn." This disc featured his biggest American hit, "Bang A Gong," and it's undoubtedly one of Marc Bolan's most essential songs. The single was so good that even people who didn't like Glam liked it.

One of the things that made Bolan's voice so unique was that he often went with a laid-back vocal over a rocking track. It gave the listener the feeling that a cool persona was singing. Also, T.Rex used high-low harmonies without a nid-range, so it seemed like a person was screeching over the lead, like 70s-era Kinks. It sounds weird on paper, but musically it works. 

His posthumous output rivals Hendrix, but unlike the latter, no session men backing tracks have been added. The number is so high that there are albums in my collection that haven't been heard yet. Yet, being a true fan, I keep collecting the Word from the Master.

Silverhead (16 And Savaged):

This band, led by Michael Des Barres, was the bluesiest of the pack. The rockers in this set wouldn't have sounded out of place on the Humble Pie "Rock On" album with some electric lead guitar work a la Foghat. Des Barres did sound a bit like Steve Marriot, but with a younger, more reckless attitude. 

Silverhead's best album is their live set, recorded at the Rainbow, which is looser and louder. However, 16 And Savaged was the one that got me into the band. It's been reissued as an expanded version with live cuts, and that's the best of both worlds.

Sparks (Kimono My House):

I first saw them on Don Kirchner's Rock Concert when it was a late-night TV show. Talk about an odd couple. Russell Mael looked like a dandy, and Ron came off like a dour bank clerk. Their sound was based on Russell's warbling vocal style, which Ron enhanced with clear, simple piano parts anchored with an amazingly hard-hitting guitar and rhythm section. There were many tempo changes, almost like a progressive rock cut, but there was no mistaking it for Yes. 

Songs like "This Town Ain't Big Enough For The Both Of Us," "Falling In Love With Myself Again," and "Talent Is An Asset" were all wildly imaginative, and I've honestly never heard an album like it since.

The Faces (A Nod Is As Good As A Wink...To A Blind Horse)

Rod Stewart And The Faces never put out a definitive album unless one compiles the Faces cuts on Rod's solo albums, but this one was close. I recall reading a review by one critic who thought the opening cut, "Miss Judy's Farm," was a great opening riff followed by blunt hacking and said "Stay With Me" was a bad remake of Rod's version of "It's All Over Now" off his second solo album. Fifty years later, the review is forgotten, but the album is considered a classic. 

Judging from YouTube videos, this band sounded best live, but they captured a bit of that excitement on this disc. I heard this one first and then worked backward.

Elton John (Tumbleweed Connection)

The first time I saw him was on TV; I believe it was on the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour. He hadn't gone Glam yet, and came off as a sensitive singer-songwriter type performing "Your Song." There was a live album that I don't see on his discography, but I remember the reviews on it noted that his live act has become more flamboyant. This album predates his showier phase, but his songs "Where To St. Peter?," "Country Comfort," and "Burn Down The Mission" are among the best of a strong catalog.

Queen (Sheer Heart Attack)

I got their first album after a record store manager recommended it. Their second and this one soon followed.

I saw them at Winterland in their first Bay Area appearance to support this album. It was a strange show as the music was spectacular, but Freddie Mercury's camp stage presence did something to the audience because they just sat there. After trying to get the crowd going, Mercury noticed and gave up and said, "It's your show, do what you like." This is still my favorite Queen album. It's got a great set of songs, and they were as good a rock band as any. If Mercury hadn't passed away, they'd still be having hit songs; they were that good and willing to keep evolving their sound.

They never did another album like this, though, with a mix that combined pop, camp, metal, and a sense of mystery, making it seem like a single mood. 

David Bowie (Hunky Dory)

It looks like number twelve here, but we'll roll with it. Bowie was probably the definitive Glam Rock star, and his Ziggy Stardust was the breakthrough persona. However, the first Bowie I heard and still like the best was this superb mix of great songs and offbeat lyrics. The most famous cut is "Changes," the coolest was "Kooks," and my favorite is "Queen Bitch," where the Velvet Underground met English Rock featuring the great guitarist Mick Ronson. 

David Bowie still had a lot of great music left to go, but this is the album where his songwriting really took off. This and "Station To Station" are the ones I keep coming back to.

Note: I didn't include artists who were considered "Glitter," like Lou Reed or Gary Glitter. Maybe we'll cover that in a future list.

I also apologize to fans of BeBop Deluxe, Bay City Rollers, ABBA, Alex Harvey, Alvin Stardust, Japan, and a host of others for leaving those out.

- Classic Album Review: Lou Reed’s Metal Machine Music

The most common reason a major artist will record a deliberately bad or offensive album is to get out of a contract. To fulfill the contract terms, Van Morrison once recorded an album of short half-ass tunes. The label went ahead and released it, but luckily he created a body of work that earned a reputation that wasn't damaged by that. The Stones recorded a single about a young male hustler called C--------r Blues that gave the label the last release required by contract, which was taboo in its time but relatively tame by today's standards.

This album is awarded the prestigious title of most infamous because it wasn't merely bad or obscene. It was because it was so irritating that even the most ardent fans of the artist couldn't listen to it straight through. There's no naughty language, titillation, or even a bad joke. It was created as a deliberate act of demolition.

That is Lou Reeds' "Metal Machine Music," a double album that went out of print so fast that most New York heroin addicts hadn't regained consciousness fast enough to get to the record store, so copies were going for as much as fifty dollars. It was almost universally panned and wrecked his artistic reputation for a time. 

It was the Peter Frampton and the Bee Gees' "Sgt. Pepper" Movie soundtrack times ten. It had the same nuclear blast radius as Milli Vanilli and caused as much bewilderment as banjo covers of Led Zeppelin songs.

If you Google it, there are a lot of explanations and purported theories behind the music, but all that intellectual mumbo jumbo was probably designed to keep his label from suing him. It was about destroying his then-successful "Rock And Roll Animal" persona.

It wasn't that alien to me at the time. My record collection included experimental works by Stockhausen, Cage, Terry Riley, and others, though I only would purchase those if in a used record store dollar bin. John Cage records sometimes went for fifty cents, and his infamous "Phonograph Music" was a bargain at that price. He and a collaborator dragged a phonograph needle over various surfaces to produce "music" that, sadly enough, wasn't the success that later New Age recordings of whale songs or windmills were, though the results were arguably more listenable than a Nickelback album.

I bought Metal Machine Music as a cutout for one dollar. I did listen all the way through, but the coolness factor drastically dropped off after the second listen, though I will say it had a very cool cover picture of Lou Reed.

I've re-listened to it, so you don't have to provide a track-by-track description. If you like electronic music, give it a listen on YouTube. I'm talking in relative terms here, but it was better than John and Yoko's avant-garde recordings. If it had a sense of humor, I'd have ranked it equal to Butthole Surfers or Sonic Youth records.

Metal Machine Music Part 1: A oscillating drone with squealing sounds that sound a lot like seagulls. One can smell the invigorating salty spray of the sea. Others might reach for a can of WD-40 because they think a door hinge is sticking. There are no wrong answers here.

Metal Machine Music Part 2: The oscillation continues, but the seagull solos have given way to what sounds like a chorus and orchestra rehearsing tuning up sounds in the background. After receiving a revelation that your avocado toast looks like the Virgin Mary, this number is the perfect soundtrack for your new spiritual life. Please prepare yourself.

Metal Machine Music Part 3: Sounds a lot like Part 2. I suspect that this is yet another double LP that should have a single disc!

Metal Machine Music Part 4: I can see that Lou is amping up the energy level for the avant-garde music climax! There are distorted keyboard-like sounds, the ghostly voices are higher pitched, and for a few seconds, he's forgotten himself and added a hint of melody!

While it doesn't reach the supreme heights of the final movement of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, it's at least shorter than the ending of a heavy metal song.

Many artists claim that their music is uncompromising and uncommercial, but give Lou Reed credit, he had the cajones to do it, and after all of the furor he created, the album is still in print. Give it five stars for sheer punk attitude, though listening to it remains optional.

Classic Album Review: Stephen Stills 2 (1971)

Both of the Stephen Stills solo albums, released in 1970 and 1971, received mixed reviews, with the most critical being John Mendelsohn's assessment that it was a work by an artist who was "a solid second-rate artist who so many lower-middlebrows insist on believing is actually first-rate." (The source is Wikipedia but I do remember that review when it first ran in the Rolling Stone). 

Another prominent critic of that era, Robert Christgau gave it a C in his now legendary Consumers Guide. Still, all this was balanced out by rave reviews in the English music press and other publications.

One problem was that Crosby, Stills & Nash (and Young) had previously come out with two undisputed classics, and it was inevitable that critics would hold the solo albums of Crosby, Nash, and Stills to that standard. Stills' first solo album was recorded during group tours and had the feel of a sketchbook full of great ideas that were executed to varying degrees of success. The disc does feature his most successful single, "Love The One Your With."

The second work is the result of ample studio time and has a more polished feel. If memory serves, some of the criticism centered on cuts that seemed inferior to the CSN&Y songs and the use of horns on some cuts. The songs with horns, which sound fine now, shouldn't have been a surprise. Bands like Blood, Sweat & Tears, Chicago, Electric Flag, Cold Blood, and many others had made horns part of the sonic palette of rock, and it was natural to want to experiment with that sound.

The closing cut, "Bluebird Revisited," opens slowly with horns, like the Al Kooper era Blood, Sweat & Tears album, and goes into an uptempo section that adds conga to the rhythm section. It received a mixed reaction at the time, but it was one of the blueprints for Stills' later Manassas group and foreshadowed the pleasant summer sound of the 1977 CSN album and its first single, "Dark Star."

Although Robert Christgau gave it a C grade, he also made a statement later on (in another review) that could apply to this solo work: that a person's feelings towards an album can be influenced by one or two cuts that stand out or really connect.

In my case, I bought this album when I was 17, and what drew me to it were the singles  "Marianne" and "Change Partners," with the cool guitar riffing in "Nothin' To Do But Today." The rest of the album is admittedly uneven, but today, I consider it more consistent and listenable than the first solo LP. As with Bluebird Revisited, many of the arrangements feel like a forerunner of the later period CSN sound. Though David Crosby and Graham Nash were an essential part of the vocal sound, Stills was the music director for the band sound, having played many of the instruments in their first record.

The other horn-suffused cut, "Ecology Song," could divide his fanbase, as it's jarringly different and sounds like it could have come off a Chicago or Blood, Sweat & Tears album. I'm not sure it works, but you can check it out on YT or a music streaming site and make up your mind about it.

The early 70s criticism that many of the lyrics were minor works can be dismissed as the view of a much smaller group of gatekeepers when music magazines were the primary way people found out about music (besides radio). The album sold well, and in today's environment, where anyone who wants to be a pundit has access to do so, the view would probably be overwhelmingly positive. In my case, I've always appreciated good lyrics but prefer to hear the words as sound. If the words sing well, that's much better than it being a heavy-duty message to the people, man.

I noted the guitar work in Nothin' To Do But Today." In his time, he was sometimes underrated, though his work had the hallmark of a great guitarist, which was that you always recognized when Stills' was playing. In particular, his acoustic guitar work was especially unique. 

As one of the members of Manassas once said, Stills turned the acoustic guitar into a rock instrument, which was true even in his Buffalo Springfield days. On their classic "Bluebird," his acoustic work and chording sounded as powerful as the electric guitars. I don't know if anyone else ever picked an acoustic so hard. You can hear his pick really digging into the strings.

It's historically significant to note that the critical opinion in 1971 was mixed. Still, those negative reviews also were expressed in the context of the music scene at the time and a small group of opinion makers. Much of that context either no longer exists, might be right in some cases, or is plain wrong. It wasn't a time when one could go online and hear a whole album; the first description came if and when a publication covered it.

In 2023, only the music remains, and it's stood the test of time. It's still in print, and many of the cuts are on my iPod, music app, and playlists. I liked the album then and enjoy it now.

In Part 3, I ask the ChatGPT three questions about Rap and comment on the answer. I'm going with this format because it would take a detailed book to do justice to the subject of Rap music, and an anecdotal approach is better for casual reading.  I'm also becoming more interested in how the phrasing of the question can shape the Chatbot's answers, and what I'm getting at will be more apparent by part 3.

You might find it interesting that the Grammarly A.I. flagged several grammatical errors and suggested a few paragraph revisions in the chatbot answers. I went ahead and OK'd the corrections. Those who use A.I. to compose articles might want to ensure the output is checked for accuracy and written correctly.

Upcoming article: Battle Of The A.I. Bots! 

Question: Who was the first rap artist?

"The origins of rap music can be traced back to the African American communities in the United States during the 1970s. While many artists contributed to the development of rap music, it is difficult to pinpoint a single individual as the "first" rap artist.

Some of the earliest rap recordings were made by artists such as The Sugarhill Gang, Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five, and Afrika Bambaataa in the late 1970s and early 1980s. However, these artists were building on a tradition of spoken-word poetry and rhythmic chanting that had been part of African American culture for generations.

In short, while there is no single "first" rap artist, the genre of rap music emerged from a rich cultural tradition and has been shaped by countless artists over the decades."

Comment:

This isn't a bad description. However, posing the same question to the Google search engine came up with such a wide variety of answers that I'm just going to show what came up after a ten-minute search.

D.J. Cool Herc, Coke La Rock, Fatback Band, James Brown, Gil-Scott Heron, Last Poets, Louis Armstrong, Ella Fitzgerald, Al Jarreau, Grandmaster Flash, Kurtis Blow, Cold Crush Brothers, Bob Dylan, John Lee Hooker, Blind Willie McTell

Obviously, many contexts aren't mentioned here, and one big influence on the answer is the definition of rap music (by who) and the elements that make a song a rap number. So DJ Kool Herc is an originator or primary influence, depending on how the question is phrased. Some articles state that the Fatback Band created the first rap song and not the Sugarhill Label artists, and so on. The Chatbot specifies that there was no single artist; even a cursory look at the Google result confirms that.

The old debate about whether the Earth is flat or round is a good analogy. Even today, if you say we live on a globe, people will disagree and attack any evidence. In other words, facts are often what people believe, not what they see. If a student uses A.I. to answer a question about Rap music, the output will be both right and wrong to people. 

The main flaw with any AI-generated data is that it has the same access to the data, but the answer will be influenced by how the question is phrased and how much weight should be given to conflicting facts. That's a job that a human best does at this stage of the tech, as the Bot will probably treat data provided by an interested party (like an artist making a claim to be the first) as equal to other assertions.

People will be inclined to treat what the Bot says as definitive, but an area like the Arts isn't like mathematics; there's often no wrong or right answer.

Another question: Who was the biggest influence on the first rap artists

"The origins of rap music can be traced back to the African American and Caribbean communities of the Bronx in New York City during the late 1970s. Several influential figures helped shape the development of rap music during its early years, but perhaps the most significant influence was DJ Kool Herc.

DJ Kool Herc, whose real name is Clive Campbell, was a Jamaican immigrant who moved to the Bronx in the late 1960s. He is credited with creating the "breakbeat" style of DJing, in which he would isolate the instrumental portion of a funk or soul song and loop it so that people could dance to it for longer periods.

Herc's parties, which he called "Hercules parties," were legendary in the Bronx and attracted a diverse crowd of people from different neighborhoods and backgrounds. His innovative DJing style and his ability to create a party atmosphere with his music hugely influenced the first rap artists, who often performed at his parties and used his techniques in their own music.

Other influential figures in the early development of rap music include Grandmaster Flash, Afrika Bambaataa, and The Sugarhill Gang, who had the first commercially successful rap hit with their 1979 song "Rapper's Delight." However, DJ Kool Herc is often cited as the biggest influence on the first rap artists."

Comment: 

The first question that would come up is who is citing DJ Kool Herc as the biggest influence. A person would have to come up with the source data, which the A.I. doesn't provide. 

Question: Did old blues influence rap?

"Yes, old blues music significantly influenced the development of rap music. Blues music originated in the African American communities of the southern United States in the late 19th century and early 20th century, and it was characterized by its emphasis on vocal expression and improvisation.

Many early rap artists, including Grandmaster Flash, Run-DMC, and Public Enemy, were heavily influenced by the blues tradition and incorporated elements of blues music into their own work. For example, Grandmaster Flash's iconic song "The Message" features a sample from the blues classic "The Big Payback" by James Brown.

In addition to musical influence, the blues tradition also profoundly impacted rap music's lyrical content. Blues songs often dealt with themes of social injustice, poverty, and everyday life's struggles. Rap artists adopted these themes and added their own perspectives to create a new form of musical expression that spoke directly to their own experiences and the experiences of their communities.

Overall, the blues tradition played an important role in developing rap music and helped shape its unique sound and style."

Comment: 

This is a good answer because it's not definitive and most artists will agree that any form of music evolved from earlier genres or cultures. It is a statement without context, but it wasn't asked to provide it.

Final Comment: 

The Chatbot is useful, but it writes textbook-style prose and tends to use stock phrases. I've read articles by experts who say that the A.I. will get smarter as it "learns," but unless the algorithm is made open source, so the learning process is transparent, I have to assume that its education will be at the expense of humans who collect data and do the hard lifting of interpretation and editing.

Until an A.I. Bot can sit at a typewriter or pick up an instrument and create art without scraping the work of humans, it will always be a very powerful collector of ideas, concepts, and work created by humans. It can do that cheaper than humans, which is why it'll become increasingly popular. 

As it stands, it can't create genius but only scrape it.

- Gear Talk: Fender Blues Harmonica

Rod Stewart once announced on a live album, "That's a harmonica, the cheapest instrument you can buy!" That isn't entirely true; the cheapest manufactured melodic instrument is almost always a wooden flute made from bamboo or a similar tube. Americans have applied good old-fashioned know-how and ingenuity to make it a premium instrument. Luckily, an off-brand harmonica (or harp) similar to the ones that old-time sailors and blues artists used can be had for eight bucks or less.

When an American company enters a traditionally low-price market, they follow standard practice and have an overseas contractor make the instrument to spec and put their name and higher markup on it. Fender doesn't make harps, so it's more about the spec given to the contractor (Asian factories don't churn out the same harp).

Parlor guitars used to be relatively cheap until some companies came in and made entry-level models with a 600.00 or more price point. That's happened to a certain extent with harmonicas, with the classic premium Hohner models averaging 40-50 dollars (and more). For example, one of my old faves, the "Golden Melody'" is now 60.00. However, even Hohner ensures the traditional "Marine Band" model stays cheap at ten dollars. They do pay expert musicians to swear that the aspiring blues harpist needs the more expensive ones to become a real pro.

In some ways, that's true. Most old blues legends would have loved access to better instruments but not at today's prices. 

The old bluesman used the cheap marine band for two reasons (besides being cheap).

One, the reeds in a harmonica will eventually wear out from hard playing. Expensive ones that don't have replaceable reeds cost a lot to replace. The Marine Band reeds were more uncomplicated, less sensitive (thicker), and thus lasted longer.

To play in a blues band, you'll need a few or several in different keys (assuming no backups). Even three or four in the basic keys at ten bucks apiece, plus a good microphone (for most electric blues, you need your own mic) and a small amp, will set you back a couple of hundred at least. If you want a vintage-type mic and amp to reproduce the old 50s Chicago Blues sound, then it's over a few hundred minima.

In other words, the harmonica can still be a cheap instrument, but playing professionally can cost big bucks. I believe that's called a 'hidden cost."

However, let's talk about how a harmonica can bring some cheap thrills to your life. The instrument has been around for a long time, whether on ships or at campfires, and one reason is that it has one virtue that makes it a great casual instrument; it can't play a wrong note (when played solo). The harp plays whole notes. That means you can blow up and down, and there won't be a wrong note. The Blues requires two "flatted notes" in the scale, which you get by blowing it a certain way, but that's an advanced skill. Move it around as you blow, even randomly, and a melody will form.

Want chords or half chords? Play more notes at once, and it'll sound good. It may not impress a pro, but it's a great beginner instrument for fun in the living room and much easier than a ukulele. Of course, you must like harmonica music, but you can check out the various styles on YouTube and see what you think.

One of the many inexpensive harps you can buy is the Fender Blues Deluxe. It's around 13-15 bucks, so it costs more than a Hohner Marine Band but a lot less than their first line, which is in the 40-50 range. The "comb," the part with the holes, is plastic, which is easier on the lips than old-school wood, and the tone is quite suitable for folk, country, blues, and ethnic music. Whether it's better than the Hohner, the best way to see, short of buying both, is to check out videos on YouTube and listen to both being played.

I bought this one to replace a Hohner, actually, but it was a "double reeded" type that has what one could say is a more accordion-like tone. Hohner used to make a cheap one with a wood comb that's unavailable now, and the price of a decent double reed approaches one hundred.

The Blues Deluxe isn't that different from the ten-dollar Hohner though there's a slight difference in the reeds, etc., and its tone seems a bit richer. Most harps categorized as a blues type will be. On the other hand, a Marine Band type has a distinctive, rawer tone. If you're serious about finding the exact one that fits, listen to the various brands on YouTube and ask questions on a harp forum. Once you get past the beginner stage, the harp world is as diverse and intricate as guitars. There are different types, and the quality of construction comes into play.

In my case, being a Fender guy, I just stuck with my brand, and it comes with a nice case and cleaning cloth. It's a great Marine Band, and I think anyone would find it a perfect way to start playing.

One last thing about a blues harmonica; On most of the old blues records that featured the harp, the player used old inexpensive models, mainly Hohner's. When you get a Marine Band, it's definitely a connection to a tradition; in that sense, it's not a cheap instrument.

Will A.I. Replace Musicians?

The short answer is that it will replace some, but more in how clubs returned to D.J.s during the 70s disco craze. There are bound to be venues that try A.I. as a gimmick, and the ones who should be worried are D.J.s. which are the easiest to replace.

There are bound to be filmmakers who'll use A.I.-generated soundtrack music and effects to cut costs, and if I were a voice actor, I'd be concerned. However, unless a venue decides to go the discotheque route, it's hard to imagine how A.I. would replace live musicians, except as novelty acts, even with robots. Technology has always changed the music industry. The 78 rpm record changed it; new recording equipment made it possible to record multitrack. Electric guitars and amps had a profound effect, and vocoders have made vocal skills less critical.

And don't get the Industry started on streaming...

A.I. can't do much right now; it's not as good as the hype, but who knows what'll happen as the tech develops. It could be as influential as rock and roll being born or become as pervasive and annoyingly imperfect as autocorrect software or automated customer service. One thing is for sure, if A.I. does cause harm, there'll be a human behind it. I wouldn't watch A.I., I'd keep an eye on the people developing it and using it.

The Revolutionary History Of The Charango:

I talked a bit about the charango in the last issue. However, the instrument does have an interesting story, which may be a myth but a cool one. The legend says that when the Spanish conquered South America, they banned native musical instruments. So the South Americans developed a small stringed instrument that used an Armadillo shell for a body and a stick neck with ten strings, or five groups of two. It was designed to be small enough to hide in a cloak or pants leg easily, and it enabled the player to defy the ban like the Scottish did when the English outlawed bagpipes.

The original type was banned after the late 70s when armadillos became endangered and illegal to ship overseas. Most of the ones still around are pre-embargo, and the modern charango now has wood bodies. For many enthusiasts, this resulted in a better sounding instrument though the native type with the shell has a distinctive resonance, like a Peruvian harp but with less sustain. Those also tend to be crude and harder to play.

It's not clear if the Spanish did ban native instruments, but it's plausible as the Catholic Church did actively try to eradicate any practice that appeared pagan. The ban might have been local, but it certainly gave the instrument a revolutionary aura.

You can hear how a native charango sounds in my song, "A Charango Is Born In the Andes," on the Electric Fog channel on YouTube or any streaming service. I used the Andes of Peru in the title, but Peru and Bolivia claim to be the birthplace of this remarkable instrument. Of course, both may be right, as, after all, I'm sure the ancient borders were different back then.

- Industrial Dance And Shuffle - Arms Versus Legs?

When I want to escape the usual torrent of clickbait stories about 60s artists, I head over to YouTube to see what's new in the music scene. 

Two styles, trends, or whatever young people call music these days are Shuffle and Industrial Dance. I'm a few years late for the boat on those, as those scenes already have an entire subculture going with their own celebrities and sub genres. What I enjoy about both is the music and those young people having such fun. It’s different than watching a video of old rockers in their 70s performing extraordinary feats of muscle memory honed by fifty years of playing the same songs (but more power to them, though I'll pass on paying a grand to see them live).

Shuffle seems to be an eclectic dance form that's like hip-hop dancing but to a wide variety of music. It's mainly about leg movement, sort of like Celtic dancing, and my elderly thighs begin cramping after a few minutes of seeing these remarkable athletes. Industrial Dance is a cool trip too. It's all about the Steampunk Goth look, with intricate arm and upper body movement done to pounding EDM style music with speed metal style vocals. It's prime cult music material but with a lot of people in it.

I'd never have found out about these forms of music, much less trance, trip hip, and a myriad of other styles, on Google news or the push service for my phone. Instead, I generally get a steady stream of stories about the 60s and 70s era rockers, many so quickly written that they show obvious Grammarly or autocorrect errors (yes, it makes mistakes if you don't double-check the text).

Luckily sites like YouTube will push new music to me, and since subcultures thrive there, there are always new worlds to explore.

I see stories about older artists worried about whether audiences will come back to live shows, and yet recently, an EDM festival with over a hundred artists on the bill sold out in 24 hours. It shows that the young have created their own worlds and are often moving faster than the older generation's ability to keep track of them. Sometimes the geezers still think of them as dumb little kids, but it's obviously their world now.

That's a good thing too.

Special Preview: Excerpt Of Episode 3 from Vintage Musical Instrument Reviews - A Myth Busting Primer For The Layman - The Regal R-210 And Thoughts On Parlor Guitars In General 

The Gibson B-25 12 String acoustic guitar isn't just rare because it's a vintage model; it's also because modern small-bodied 12's are rare. I've owned five twelve strings, and three were small-bodied types, and have wondered why that type has died out while parlor-sized six strings have become a popular category.

I do have an idea of why, and this informal history will be related off the top of my head from memory, but unlike more than a few evaluations of a vintage guitar, it'll be based on my actual experienced owning and playing it over a while.

The main reason there were small-bodied twelves in the 60s was that it was considered a good size for a "student" or beginner model. The main drawbacks were less volume and the tighter string spacing made it much harder for those with large-sized hands to play chords.

I have smaller hands, and still found it difficult to form chords on a small-bodied twelve, which was made even harder by the thicker necks (the modern slim neck, the C profile, wasn't a common feature back then), and higher action which made pressing down 12 strings more difficult than six. I could get around the complexity of chording by playing in open tunings, which made playing a chord easier because it only required barring it straight across. However, thick necks and higher action still could make it like squeezing a gel stress ball to exercise the fingers.

Many of the twelves I saw back in the 60s and 70s were played like regular guitars by the simple expedient of removing six of the strings. I imagine that the original owners converted some, but most were because used twelves were common and cheap.

It's been said that this type was dying out in the 40s until blues-folk legend Leadbelly revived it as a folk instrument (along with Pete Seeger). Then, in the 60s, the twelve became more popular after rock groups like the Byrds and Beatles used the electric versions in their records. Although the acoustic type was used in 60s recordings, notably by Glen Campbell, the popularity of the student model didn't appear to last more than a couple of decades. Part of that was easy to figure out; people who wanted to play one because of the Byrds and other rock groups were often told to start with six-string acoustics and, after realizing it wasn't the same, didn't stick with it.

The idea of starting with a "beginner" guitar isn't a bad idea per se. Still, the assumption that most people will continue to buy successive models is based on the idea that you have to start with instruments that don't necessarily sound like what you want to play.

That's particularly true of those told to start on nylon string guitars. Those strings are easier on the fingers at first but are also thicker, and the wider spacing makes it harder to form and play chords.

Plus, it doesn't give the player a path to the sound they want to hear. Most people will buy one instrument, which will be played for fun. If Punk Rock is the goal, a nylon string guitar is just an extra step and expense, particularly in 2023.

You can buy an electric (or an acoustic, for that matter) at prices starting from one hundred (even less used) and pay to set it up, so it's easier to play. Your fingers are going to get sore at first anyway, but an electric is generally easier to learn on because of the lower action and lighter gauge strings.

Most importantly, you know the guitar will produce the desired punk sound with dedication and practice. No matter how good you get on the acoustic, you've got to go buy another guitar and navigate the next round of mansplaining and snob talk by Internet experts who'll declare the electric in your price range is a piece of crap but another necessary step in the American process of spending as much money as possible, and advice from people who haven't actually played the chosen model but base it on opinions by others (most who haven't played it either) and are judging it based on its price and listed specs.

In the United States, the formula for determining how good the guitar is:

Quality = x(y+x) - a(b+c) > f(d+e)

x = number of dollars

y = number of Internet experts who approve of the crap guitar

x = number of celebrities who play the model

Subtracting:

a = number of negative comments on Internet

b = if manufactured in China

c = if modified with after market components that lose value even if it improves sound

If value greater than:

d = Ebay price quoted as real market to get you to sell at a lower price

e = cosmetic flaws that become major price deductions during the haggling process (figure on 200.00 per scratch)

f = level of bragging rights on guitar forum after successfully mansplaining the seller into selling at a low-ball price, plus extra bonus if said seller was made to feel stupid or greedy for trying to get desired fair price.

But anyway, let's get back to those early twelve strings.

End Of Excerpt…

To continue reading this free Vella episode, follow the link:

Episode 3 - 1965 Regal Parlor R-210

SOME PREVIEWS OF MY VELLA BOOKS ON AMAZON:

The Quitters

https://www.amazon.com/kindle-vella/story/B09PC3L6PC

It's the first book, and after ten months, it's finally developing an audience, and the stats are trending upward this month. I think it's due to the blog and the new book/music video short format I'm using for its promotion. I’ve moved the plot lines away from potentially over technical descriptions of playing live to more emphasis on the personalities and in particular, the main character Nym. Also, some of the romance elements are now coming into play.

It's at 31 episodes, though as an ebook, we're talking maybe 15 traditional-length chapters. I'm keeping the format episodic and short, kind of like a weekly TV show, which works for Vella but will need to be restructured for the ebook.

I, Ivy

 https://www.amazon.com/kindle-vella/story/B0B3RCBT4D

The story got off to a decent start, but I didn't notice that as it's obvious now that the daily totals on the Vella dashboard can differ or not jibe with the monthly or overall total, which have to be accurate as those numbers determine the royalty and bonus payouts. I'll be paying more attention to this one in March, as it’s being read more than I thought. The latest chapter, Ivy’s view of the efforts by a human to give her a pill should strike a familiar chord.

The Boogie Underground Think Tank: How To Survive The End Of Civilization

 https://www.amazon.com/kindle-vella/story/B0BG6LNXTG

This one is a revival of an old humor column I ran in my old "Delta Snake Blues News" publication in the 90s and 2000s. The slant is about survival in the upcoming hard times, but it really will be topical and cover subjects that are offbeat but relevant. The next one coming in a few days will be "How To Shop For The Perfect Expert," which obviously will be a humorous commentary on the use of experts in general.

The ebook “On The Road With Al & Ivy: The Anthology Volume 1 2016-2018 is now on Kindle Unlimited!

Please check out and listen to my music on Spotify, YouTube, Apple Music and other music sites. Please add any cuts you like to your playlists!

Michael Des Barres"Who Do You Want Me To Be? Michael Des Barres