Showing posts with label Ivy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ivy. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 5, 2022

On The RoadWith Al And Ivy: A Literary Homeless Chronicle - July 2022



“The first bombardment showed us our mistake, and under it, the world as they had taught it to us broke in pieces."


- Erich Maria Remarque (All Quiet On The Western Front, Trans. from the German by A. W. Wheen)


One of the first things a child learns is that there are mysteries and elders who illuminate those are guides whose wisdom is unchallenged until the budding adult realizes that humans are moony phlegmatics who often make stuff up.


The Ancient races were terrified whenever the sky turned black until they could calculate when eclipses would occur, accompanied by rites and sacrifices. Thanks to the Priests, no one ever died from an eclipse.


Astronomy eventually became common knowledge and a source of wonder rather than fear. That didn't end the power of priests, who just found new mysteries.


...proof is in the pudding...


That's why astronomy can be common knowledge, yet people will still send money to Nigerian Princes or believe that the earth is flat.


Professor Ivy's controversial 1987 book, "Food Bowls Are Righteous," asserts that if the world was round then dog bowls would constantly slide downhill.


This writer is unable to formulate an intelligent rebuttal to that penetrating observation.


...it isn't enough to know...


It isn't enough to know. If the data doesn't solve the problem, allay a fear, or confirm what the person believes, then it has little power or validity. The notion that somebody wants to give out free gold can be more compelling than knowing that Black Holes are dying stars. 


It's more complex than that, of course, as most people know that there's lots of reasons and dynamics in play, and not everyone can be as smart as they are. 


We grant the point and move on...


Now that I've established that truth and knowledge aren't absolutes, there's a historical event I'd like to discuss.


...armchair generals and similar types of priests...


The first armchair general was documented in 456,7892 B.C. when a Thessalonian Chieftain decided it was safer to have a high-ranking Satrap lead the Army into battle instead of him. 


The new General was subject to micromanaging by the inviolate monarch, which included postgame analysis by warrior commentators who couldn't make it to the battle or were on the injured list.


It was known as "ˌbaksēt ˈdrīvər" which has no English equivalent but roughly translates to "Telling the chariot driver how to steer the horses."


The modern archetype was first described in pictures on a clay pickle jar in 567,8910 B.C. when fierce warriors in the region now known as Chicago staged a mock battle to celebrate the glorious victory of the Bears over the Red Sox in the Peloponnesian War. 


The ASCII illustrations on the jar show several men standing off to one side, critiquing the tactics used by the two tribal generals and expressing dismay that the armor used by the warriors wasn't period correct.


Noted War Expert and dog food blogger Professor Ivy of Shitzu U translated the passage in 1967, which reads:


"Notede camp gamæ critic atticuſ mcdougal gavæ th' mock c'mbaÞ onlī 2 stars, nōn-ọ̄ther sin th' armor ophe th' warriorſ waſ from th' sinnen perioede a'd th' explosionſ weræ obviouslī fakæ."


Other Armchair Generals added more clarity on the Rotten Rutabaga site:


"Marcis Ohreally is miscast as the gentle, sensitive commander who was forced to execute 800 of his men for dress code violations and flinching when the arrows showered down upon their heads."


Professor Ivy also noted in her translation, "Sometimes it's necessary for those who haven't seen combat to define martial values like courage and sacrifice as most soldiers are too preoccupied with their survival to delve into ethereal concepts of war."


...tribal chiefs...


That original Tribal Chief found that when a general was killed, there were plenty of others eager to take his place. This allowed him to concentrate on essential duties of state and a harem of 1,234 wives.


The brave Chief suffered a heart attack at around the 500th wife but luckily, there were 23 male heirs. After 22 died suddenly, the 23rd, a spry young man named Hoosier Acropolis assumed the throne.


His first task was to start a war, of course, so he summoned the latest general to give him the order.


The problem was Hoosier had no idea who to invade or how. Luckily, the General who was named Trojan Horace said it would be taken care of and all the Chieftain had to do was equip the Army, and he'd take of the rest.


Hoosier looked at the bill and wondered why the toilet seats cost 50 gold pieces each. Also, the new chariots that fired machine gun arrows weren't operational due to problems with the high-tech wheels that used innovative square geometry that would prevent cowards from retreating.


He decided that war must be like predicting eclipses and appointed a priest to handle the mysterious art, and went back to the vital task of creating a male heir with his harem of 646 wives.


...the original Pentagon...


The War Priest's first task was to commission a series of bronze tablets inscribed with stirring tales of the young Chieftain's courage in battle and prowess in bed, having reached wife number 323 before his untimely death from a hernia and dehydration.


This work, known as "The Bayou Tapestry" is considered the first published novel because nothing in it was true, though it's become a valued reference work on many Internet history web sites.


...now about modern warfare literature...


War literature is generally one of two types; Tales of great warriors and leaders that tend to be pro-management in sentiment or anti-war tracts written mainly by war veterans (or those who empathize with them).


That and movies. There are ultra-bloody and gory "war is hell" films that portray leaders as egotistical cretins who waste people's lives and live in luxury. Such celluloid tales won't be discussed in this blog because it isn't clear if Hollywood is talking about the Pentagon or studio heads and producers.


Please note that I've oversimplified for brevity and to meet the exacting standards of accuracy required for Internet commentary, which has a plus-minus rate of error of 50%.




...sides of the same coin...


Two classic works provide compelling views of both sides; Sun Tzu's "Art Of War" and "All Quiet On The Western Front" by Erich Maria Remarque.


Sun Tzu's manual was written sometime before 500 B.C., and like Homer, it's not clear if he was an actual person. The first English translation was in 1910 and was probably a cult item amongst Military types until it became a popular primer on leadership in business and other fields that purport to have leaders.


It isn't a pro-war book in the classic sense but some of it's popularity can be attributed to what could be called the "Cult Of Leadership," or the idea that a leader is responsible for the success of an army or organization.


An old war movie with this sensibility (like from the 40s or 50s) would depict an army or group of soldiers transformed into an enthusiastic bunch by a charismatic leader (generally a handsome alpha male) who also comes up with a clever trick that baffles the enemy and sends them running for home or to meet their maker.


More recent movies (with some exceptions) take it a step further and make it seem like battles are won by rock star warriors who break the rules, have guns that never run out of ammo, and please some of the males in the audience by bringing female officers down a peg or two.


That might be true for elite units that perform special missions, but after all the brilliant strategy and planning in World War 2, for example, Omaha Beach was stormed by regular guys just doing their duty and doing most of the dying.


...discussion groups...


Most amateur historians and war buffs will discuss strategy and tactics and critique the leadership.


Which is important; leadership is an indispensable element but like with analytics in Pro Sports, it's easy to talk theory and probabilities because that's what the ordinary person can see. Books like The Art Of War give readers a picture that's easier to grasp. 


Which is good. Even though the Military History genre has its share of jingo's, tech geeks, and war porn addicts, it's also produced valuable anti-war literature and a sub-genre of what could be called realistic war studies.


There's one book in the latter category that comes to mind, "The Face Of Battle" by John Keegan.


Keegan's book studied three battles that occurred in the same area of Flanders in France; Agincourt, Waterloo and Somme Offensive.


The book was a then groundbreaking study that examined what really happens during a battle. That is to say, what men actually did as opposed to the more poetic descriptions like "the men charged forward in an irresistible wave that carried all before them."


Keegan's book describes accounts by soldiers about men being issued gin or rum before battle, so they fought drunk, cavalry that avoided mixing it up and riding in opposite directions, Military Police behind the lines to catch deserters and shirkers, sergeants carrying spears in the gunpowder to push the line of soldiers forward if they faltered and many other fascinating facts.


The question that Keegan examined the closest was what made men fight when the battlefield was so terrifying.


...the common factor...


The most common reason highlighted in modern war movies was that men fought for each other. Which is undoubtedly true.


However, it's more complicated than that. The Face Of Battle delineates a list of factors from patriotism (professed by people at home as well as the commanders), peer pressure, threat of punishment, training to bypass the fear reflex, and tactics that place soldiers in situations that trigger the survival instinct or rescue comrades.


Those aren't factors that John Keegan made up. The book "All Quiet On The Western Front," written in 1929 by a war veteran, pretty much says the same thing (more on that later).


...how to make war...


James Dunnigan's 1983 "How To Make War" was a similar book for the World War 3 High Tech era. Unlike commentary that assumes weapons work as advertised, he took a hard look at the actual stats. He created a survey of modern armies and their hardware that differentiated between what people think a weapon will do and what it actually does.


It may seem vulgar or less important than a football betting line to have a working knowledge of military hardware. You might not be fooled into buying the Brooklyn Bridge for not knowing, but someone will sell you (the taxpayer) a destroyer that cost billions and couldn't use the main gun because the shells cost 800,000 each.


Such books are about the less sexy subject of logistics. It's more appealing to discuss strategy on the intellectual level or talk about warriors who lust for battle and kick butt a la Braveheart.


...anti-war novels...


It's not a coincidence that veterans often write anti-war novels. They see a different picture than the general public does.


In a key passage in Remarque's remarkable work, the main character Paul ruminates on how he ended up on the Western Front, and all of the factors that Keegan later wrote about are present. The sense of duty remains, but all of the glamor is gone.


...back to the movies...


Movies often focus on gore as it's an entertainment medium and serious anti-war films rarely sell tickets. The ones that do well focus on soldiers doing a dirty job that has to be done, complaints about management, and the glory of sacrifice.


The elephant in the room is the morality of war, and the usual plot device is to talk about the horror and futility but ignore the most obvious solution of refusing to do it (which happened a lot throughout history). 


There have been instances of large-scale mutiny. In World War One, a large part of the French Army went on strike after yet another battle that became a bloodbath. They didn't quit or desert but made it clear that there'd be no more offensives until changes were made.


The leaders were arrested (and some executed) but the French Leadership did appoint a new commander who promised that there would be no more wasteful attacks. This incident was, of course, kept secret from the Germans who would certainly would gone all out demanded terms had they known.


...Tet Offensive...


The French civilians didn't know either, having been fed a steady diet of victory news and takes of courageous feats. If they'd known, it would have probably created as big an outcry as the American public did during the Tet Offensive during the Vietnam War.


Although war buffs describe that situation as the American public (particularly Walter Cronkite) not seeing that it was a tactical victory for the American Army, it shows what happens when the Pentagon (and Intelligence agencies) gets called on B.S.


There are practical reasons for wartime leaders to keep secrets, of course, and a good example of what happens when the people and Army publicly lose faith in their leaders is the Russian Revolution. People generally think a bunch of Socialists just took over the country, but it was preceded by the complete collapse of the Army and surrender to the Germans.


...but it is complicated...


And to be fair, one does have to acknowledge that war is a complicated issue, and once the soldiers are committed, it's generally too late to start pondering the necessity or morality.


...in the trenches...


As Paul in the book All Quiet On The Western Front realized, in the trenches, there was little he could do about it except try to survive.


The Sun Tzu book doesn't help one understand war because any book of axioms gives the impression that there's a formula for victory. That effect is more pronounced in modern times because leaders no longer lead their men into battle (as opposed to Civil War Generals who died at twice the rate of the infantry). The further from the front, the more theoretical people get.


That's simplifying things a bit too much, but it's true. Wellington may have told his brigade commanders at the Battle Of Waterloo that they had to hold even if the cannon fire was devastating, but he did understand what the order meant because they were all under fire.


Most battle plans are conceived by rare geniuses or the more numerous average, mediocre or incompetent leaders. However, after all that, men still have to slug it out, and most attacks succeed due to better training and equipment, attrition, hard fighting, and luck.


And, of course, the remarkable and admirable courage of the average soldier. Which is why one will find more truth in a book like All Quiet On The Western Front than The Art Of War.


...all quiet...


Paul found himself in a terrifying situation, with no easy answers to the questions he asked himself but he did his duty.


The author Remarque served as a soldier in W.W. 1 and was severely wounded, so his book told the truth and asked the hard questions. His story didn't answer the question of why there's war, but it helped create the anti-war genre.


If veterans from each war keep writing books that ask, perhaps one day someone will be able to give an answer that everyone will agree upon. Until then, I hope they keep asking.



ANNOUNCEMENT: On The Road With Al & Ivy, The Anthology Vol 1 (2016-2018) now live!




I've put out an ebook called "On The Road With Al & Ivy - The Anthology Vol. 1." It contains the 30 blog entries from 2016 to 2018, which cover the start and end of my homeless journey. All have been re-edited with minimal revisions and notes to ensure clarity but preserves the mood and atmosphere of that period.


The Anthology has been placed as a free ebook on Kobo (epub) and as a .99 Kindle book on Amazon (which is as low as I can set it). The Kobo version is the same as the Kindle, except it doesn't have the introduction (which is reprinted later in this blog entry).


Both versions are available now.


I'll keep the free Kobo epub live until late July which will give anybody who wants a free copy plenty of time to download it.


After that, I'm going to pull Volume 1 off Kobo and enroll it in the Kindle Unlimited program and run it as a free book there for five days when it's eligible. 


I had considered "going wide" with it but didn't want a multitude of free versions in different formats floating around in cyberspace. 


Note: Feel free to share the book with friends, etc. Please do not upload it to any book site or distributor. It would force me to issue takedown requests to clear the deck for the transition to Kindle.


...Delta Snake...


The print version of the Delta Snake Review in the 80s was free (paid subscription if you wanted to get it by mail), yet at least one record store packaged it in sealed plastic and charged for it. I'm still a little salty about that.


I doubt that'll happen with this ebook but I do want a reasonable certainty as to where it's being distributed and want it in a nice format that keeps it a respectable work of art.


I consider it an archival project, and once it's set as a K.U. Ebook, will let it ride with just basic promotional effort after the free giveaway. It makes these 30 entries available to those who want it, and it's been a valuable first experience in the ebook environment.


...volume 2...


I'm compiling the 2019-2022 blogs as volume 2. The entries after 2018 evolved into a literary magazine-style format that encompassed essays, satire, photos, and illustrations. 


I'm not adding the 80s-era jazz-blues poetry referenced in the blogs is because its going to become an illustrated collection along the lines of of William Blake's "Illuminated books," a series of hand drawn works starting in 1788. Esoteric for sure, but almost all poetry these days is a labor of love.


I'll be doing an essay on Blake's Illuminated books at some point, so the reference will make more sense, but those are available in Kindle format if you're curious (and the samples aren't tied up with long introductions that keep you from the main body of the work). 


Since those blog entries won't be unpublished, I'll be free to format the volume in discrete re-edited and revised sections though the drawings will probably be kept with the associated essays. 


The idea will be to give readers a convenient, low-cost (probably .99) anthology of "back issues" and not to replace the blog, which remains free to read in chronological order. It's not a priority project but should be out around the summer of 2023.




...I, Ivy and Vella books update...


The "I, Ivy" book on Kindle Vella will be unpublished on August 28 and there have been no new chapters loaded since the initial debut.


The reason is that I'd like it to be available to overseas readers. The "Quitters" book is mainly targeted at an American audience but my hope is that the Ivy book will appeal to a wider audience.


I'm shooting for a late September release date for a series of novella length ebooks. Each "I, Ivy" volume will be around 25,000 words and priced accordingly. 


I'm going to revise the first three chapters that are online as those are currently written for the episodic Vella environment and seem a bit too sparse for an ebook.


The Quitters book should wrap up in early August and a book two will begin in October as a Vella series. Like with the Ivy book, that volume will be novella length (though more in the 45,000 word range) and after revision, be released as a low cost Kindle ebook.


That schedule may seem tight but the Ivy book is intended to be a light work that's fun to write (and hopefully to read), and the Quitters will mainly have material added that was left out of the Vella version.  




Here's the intro to the Anthology Vol.1


INTRODUCTION TO VOLUME 1 (2016-2018)


This anthology begins from the point I became homeless, or more specifically when I admitted it. "On The Road With Al & Ivy" was supposed to be a part of my Delta Snake Review blog, which focused on music and instrument reviews. 


The idea was to make it one of many features on the site. The first few entries drew a lot of readers. The visits went from 3,000 to 75,000 in two months, most of it from Twitter users. It was never clear why but Twitter labeled the Delta Snake Review on Google's Blogspot as an unsafe site which had a chilling effect on readership. Google and Twitter were in some dispute, which might have been the reason. A Twitter friend suggested that I might have been caught in a "reply trap" in which a group of users tagged me as a spammer, which can trigger a ban. 


I posted the link from another blog site as a workaround rather than give up the Delta Snake. It was intended as a temporary measure as Twitter was the only site that flagged it. I eventually decided to spin it off as a separate entity which Twitter allowed. It took time for readers to return since most had been told it was a dangerous site. 


That means many of the early entries will seem new. I kept posting entries even though a lot of the audience had gone away, which is what any true writer will do. My original plan was to revisit the early "On The Road With Al And Ivy" entries and correct any misspelled words and that sort of thing. 


One of the first things I noticed was that the entries were no longer in chronological order. Another oddity was that passages taken out in 2017 (after deciding to write a book about that time) were all back in. The mess was bad enough that it was easier to pull those entries from the site and reissue the re-edited material as an ebook, including the previously deleted material. 


One thing I knew would happen is that the essays feel different in tone and style (than those written in the last few years). The 2016 blogs were written by a person averaging two to four hours of sleep for a couple of months and had lost access to high blood pressure and anxiety meds. I was stressed and often snarky or angry even when trying to be humorous. My emotions ranged from forced optimism to grudging acceptance of the situation. 


My writing style used conventions that one could say were influenced by Jack Kerouac, Henry Miller and Tom Wolfe. 


In retrospect, that seems to be the case. Writing a collection of thoughts, fragments, and observations is well suited to a writer whose emotional state is wildly fluctuating. It's a sketchpad with every immediate impression written down. 


As a result, the subjects can range from deeply thought-out ideas to obsessions over trivialities. 

There's a complete picture there when taken as a whole.


I was often embarrassed by my writing but resisted the temptation to correct grammar or split the long Beat-style paragraphs into "proper English" sentences. These early chapters are more topical and reflect the emotions of a person trying to understand what was going on and why. 


There are several essays in this volume that are too strident and even a bit wrong or unfair but valuable as a snapshot of a homeless person's mindset and worth keeping unchanged. It was reassuring that the material now seems remote and shows that I've been recovering from the PTSD experienced later on. It makes me grateful for the small comforts of ordinary life. 


It's not a continuous narrative. I allude to events that were documented elsewhere on social media sites but decided to keep notes and references to a minimum. It's a collection of snapshots and updates that capture a mood, and Filling the book with explanations and notes would mute the impact. 


That abruptness isn't an affectation or stylistic decision. My time sense changed out there, and life went from moment to moment rather than the passing of minutes and hours. 


For reasons explained in the book, life felt like a blur that merged events from the past and present. Each blog entry described what was on my mind at the time. I left in passages that now seem overly dramatic or even scatterbrained. It's because there's a mood that editing would mute or destroy, so I'll just trust that readers will see the intent. 


For example, there are some comments about capitalism that might anger those who view it as a faith or natural law, but the point wasn't to preach Socialism or revolution. The underlying sensibility is that there is inequity in the system and it's natural to be angry or disappointed about it. 


A lot of what I wrote came from conversations with other homeless. They all aren't in a drug stupor and why they're out there is a compelling question that's talked about a lot. 


There were some features about Ivy that were deleted but mainly because those were part of the pictorials that were left out. The essays were kept in, including her obituary. 


I still wish that I'd have been able to bring her out alive, but I didn't leave her there and made sure her remains arrived at the new home before me. That fulfilled a promise that made in 2016 and will be explained in the upcoming novel. 


These chapters are source material but contain no spoilers and are deliberately vague at times to avoid outing people. For example, I didn't identify benefactors because there were homeless at the time who'd search out names to solicit cash. 


In the forward for the novel, there'll be full thanks for my rescue. That said, I'll get out of your way and let you read this ebook but will add one final thing. 


A woman who was a homeless advocate and activist wrote me in 2016 and said that the blog made it feel like she was in the car experiencing all these things.


 I hope you feel the same way and pray that none of you will ever have to live the life this book describes. 


- Al Handa 6/23/2022


END OF BOOK EXCERPT


-Al Handa


My music group, Handa-McGraw International has new singles out on Spotify, Apple, Amazon Music, Youtube Music and 140 other sites!




Don't for get to check out The Quitters on Kindle Vella!



























Friday, June 10, 2022

On The Road With Al And Ivy: Special Preview For Al Handa’s New Kindle Vella book, “I, Ivy”



This entry is to announce that announce and preview my newest Kindle Vella book, "I, Ivy," and it's an imaginary autobiography about Professor Ivy Of Shitzu U, edited and written by me from various fictitious sources. The first three chapters are live now (links at the end of this blog).

"I, Ivy" is inspired by Natsume Soseki's "I Am A Cat," which was a big hit in Japan as a serial in 1905 and eventually compiled into three volumes.

The books evolved, with the first being episodic and a fusion of imaginary cat stream of consciousness that included biographical details and sometimes snarky comments about the human condition. 

What made it a hit was that the satire was on target but rarely vicious. Soeseki's feline narrator was certainly peevish but described the personalities involved as ones who had faults and quirks rather than being good or evil.

In other words, there's an undercurrent of empathy and acceptance that makes the reader realize that we're all very much the same and most have good intentions.

Ivy's narrative is, of course, going to be different due to being a dog, but those who've read the Japanese classic will recognize the worldly and slightly conceited viewpoint that hopefully will also be funny and entertaining.

I should note that because of my admiration for Soeseki's work, I ran the episodes through a plagiarism checker to ensure that no subconscious copying occurred.

Another difference is that "I Am A Cat" was a commentary on Japanese culture, and the Ivy book is about a precocious Shih Tzu living in the United States.

The main character has been used as a persona in this blog under the name "Professor Ivydog of Shitzu U." The main reason is to have an obviously fake expert source for comic effect. There are other levels to it, but there's no need to go into that.

The title is a reference to the famous (or infamous to some) beat novel "I, Jan Creamer," which has been imitated so many times that I would have used a different title except that "I, Ivy" has a nice ring to it and it works. Other than that, my book has very little or no similarity to that Beat era milestone.

Robert Graves' 1934 "I, Claudius" predates the Cremer book, but few probably knew that in 1964.

The narrative style is first person, which is my favorite way to tell a story and intended to be a narrative in the same vein as other loose and gossipy works like "I, Claudius" and the 1759 book "Tristram Shandy" by Laurence Sterne.

The chronology isn't linear. The first chapter is like someone introducing him or herself and jumps around in time like in a casual conversation.

The second chapter describes Ivy's rescue and adoption (more or less), and the third is about arriving at her new home.

I introduce two characters who'll be regulars, the vet named Stan, and Ivy's rescuer, an eccentric woman who calls herself Jezebel (for reasons outlined in the book).

Jezebel is a sort of guardian angel and mentor to Ivy. While her antics may come off as eccentric, you'll find that many people who dedicate themselves to an uncompromising lifestyle are perceived the same way.

Finally, I should note that this is a work of fiction intended as entertainment and any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

I've taken a lot of liberties with the Ivy character, but to paraphrase Rousseau, her characterization may be short on facts, but not on the truth.

This book is a tribute to a good friend and companion and I'll enjoy exploring this character over the next few months.

The first three chapters are free, and I hope you'll check those out and enjoy the story. I'll also appreciate it if you leave a thumbs up if you visit. 

This is the direct link: 


Note: This serial can be accessed in the Kindle app. Just search for Al Handa or "I, Ivy" and it should come up.

The Al & Ivy Homeless Literary Journal Archive:

There are earlier blog entries on the Delta Snake Review section of this site that aren't on the On The Road page:
http://deltasnake.blogspot.com

Cover Reveal For Hide In Plain Sight


This is the cover for the upcoming book, Hide In Plain Sight, hopefully out sometime in 2022.


Also check out my channel on YouTube, The Electric Fog Factory!


...And check out my other Kindle Vella book, The Quitters!



The Quitters Update - May 2022

The book is up to 20 chapters, though that's due to keeping the episodes short to prevent each from being too expensive. My preference would be for less and each to be twice as long so more detail and backstory can be added. 

What I'm planning to do is end this book sometime during July with the main character heading to Southern California. Instead of making it a very long series, I'll continue Nym's adventures there into a second book and that'll allow me to extend the story into the early 80s. I haven't decided if the character will go into synth pop, new wave or power pop yet. It's been fun creating this book, so I'll just keep writing it on the fly and explore.

I'm going to compile the episodes in the first book and after revising it, put it out as an eBook. I can add a lot of material that would have added a lot of color and context to the story but slowed the pacing down in the Kindle Vella episodic format. For example, I had planned to add a running narrative about the English and New York punk scenes to the book, but left a lot of that material out. The eBook version will give the reader a fuller view of the late 70s punk movement and also more about how the Rock Establishment reacted to it.

I did integrate some of that into the episodes, but the fuller chapters struck me as being more appropriate for a full novel one can read at a more leisurely pace. I enjoy the Vella format as it's nice to essentially get paid to develop a story, but it's obvious that a serial and a discrete novel are two different types of projects. Each has it's advantages.

Hide In Plain Sight Update - May 2022

One major change is that I've decided to use the original ending that was in the early drafts. The events in my book actually ended a few weeks before Ivy passed away, and including that sad time made it necessary to rewrite the second half, or more specifically, create a new set of chapters to cover that and the aftermath. The book had to be built up to a different ending and the new chapters never felt like a good fit.

The original drafts were a bit dark, though I rarely revised the wording of the key passages. One of the things I had to deal with out there was the constant fear and fatigue from irregular sleep. That affected how I behaved and it shows in the pacing and wording of the early chapters. It’s important to keep that feel, as the later chapters are about coming to terms with the situation and the help that people on the Internet began to give me. 

I struggled out there, but Ivy, a rescue dog with some issues from her past began to blossom and became quite happy and settled. She became my therapy dog and her part of the book should be a celebration of all that, and how inspirational it was. 

The best tribute would be to put out the book as originally planned, where both Ivy and I found a way to survive and even find some happiness out there, as unlikely as that might seem to someone who hasn't been a homeless person.

Even the worst luck eventually changes. Unless one can shed the shame reflex, blame, depression and fear and keep oneself whole, you won't be in any condition to respond when the opportunity to get out comes along. I think the original version does a good job of showing how we managed that. Having everything in it is more like a biography, which is a different kind of book, and not my intent.

The original book was 3/4 done. That means it should be completed for sure this year and it'll feel good to finally get it out. To paraphrase Henry Miller, I want to get this book done so I can get working in the next one.

..Chapter Excerpts...

Chapter 4: Nym’s Cool World

"It's a crisp August evening in the sin section of Broadway Street. The summer crowds are gone, and the sound of cars and busses are replaced by the shrill, desperate pitches of strip joint barkers now fishing in depleted waters.

Night is the best time, there's less detail, and the world’s simpler. It's easier to be me, enjoying the feeling of knowing I’m coming back to play again.

I’m skipping the third band, and just workin' on my Punk 'tude outside the pinball parlor next door. I'm puffing on a French cig, which adds cool and helps me resist the rich smell of Phillipino food from the restaurant section of the club. My macaroni and cheese dinner with a coke chaser is starting to wear off."

Chapter 5: The Negatives: A Punk Action Movie In Real Life

"The crowd’s colliding like bumper cars, so Ross jumps and twists in the air, giving the tourists a picture of wild, chaotic energy. 

It's like a modern art painting in motion! The Negatives' show has something for everyone! 

I'll have to ask Ross how he manages to get so much of his tongue hanging out like that. Whenever I try, I start gagging.

The fourth song, "Planet Toe Jam" is slower, which cools down the slam dancing. They want the crowd to just stand there, which sets up what's coming next. Plus in a longer set, it helps to have a romantic number so people can slow dance if they want to."

Chapter 6: Herman Hesse's Glass Bead Game - The Punk Version

"I gotta say he looks the part of a great artist; a big burly skinhead type who named his band after a Hermann Hesse novel. He says names like "Steely Dan" from Burroughs' "Naked Lunch," are too New York for his taste. Besides, being named after a dildo is so 60s!

I took Ida to see his show last month, and after she calmed down and agreed to not press charges, described the act as "Butt Love horseplay masquerading as performance art. It's definitely not entertainment."

I told Stew what she said, and he had the comment added to the group's press kit and asked me to thank her for the great review!"

Chapter 7: Marly Tells A Punk Bedtime Story

"Marly cuts the horn, then freezes like a brave knight who's just slain a dragon, which seems odd until I realize that some tourists are taking pictures. 

I subtly turn so my left side faces the cameras and pout at the ceiling. I take the goolie out of my mouth and hold it with two fingers near my chin, so the smoke curls near my face. Keeping it in your mouth makes you look like a puppy chewing on a biscuit, not very punk."

Chapter 8: Celebration At The Pup Chuck Wagon 24 Hour Hot Dog Diner

"There's no better place for a rising star to bask in new found glory than Pup Chuck Wagon, the 24 hour hot dog diner, a haven for San Franciscans who have more coolness than cash. Cheap food and everything you sit or eat on is washable!

I can afford a mustard dog, small fries and coffee if I use my bus money. It's only a half hour walk home and this night of achievement calls for a feast!"

Chapter 9: Nym's Walk Home

"How did you know I spent my bus fare?"

Jesus guy sighs, "You passed a bus stop on Stockton without stopping, I'd have given you the fare but Phil came, so I just took the next bus."

"You assumed Phil would give me fare money?"

"I ordained it, it's what I do child, besides, I can't go giving you cash every time you go broke, my wallet would be so light it'd float me back into Heaven and I'd have to do the Resurrection all over again."

End of excerpts...click link below to continue (for free of course)

Thursday, December 13, 2018

On The Road With Al and Ivy: A Homeless Literary Chronicle - Dec. 13th, 2018




"Homer died two hundred years ago, or more, and we still speak of him as though he were living...the others he wrote in his epic of the Trojan War. They are mere shadows, given substance by his songs; which alone retain the force of life; the power to soothe or stir or draw tears."

- Robert Graves (Homer's Daughter 1955)

I celebrated a half million views in the November blog entry, and this month should see another milestone; the completion of the final draft of the book.

It'll still need to be line edited (and possibly refined as a result) but I decided last month that it was time to finish. I remember good friend, author and editor, Melody Ramone, once telling me that there'd come a time when it felt "finished" and added half jokingly that I'd also might be sick to death of the manuscript.

That was certainly true, though being "sick of it" in my case is more a case of the musical equivalent, which is feeling that the work is as good as it's going to get and will risk becoming worse (or boring) if it keeps getting fussed over.

When McGraw and I worked on music for our Handa-McGraw International albums and YouTube channel (Electric Fog Factory), we differentiated between music for recording and live work.

We always stopped jamming and trying out new arrangements on a recorded piece when it felt right. After that, it was all about getting the right take, and technical perfection was always secondary to feel. For example, on the YouTube channel there are several numbers that were intended as demos, but never replaced. That's because a finished version hadn't been done that had the right feel.

My book is similar to an album, mainly because the artistic sensibility is musical. It had stopped being a chronological journal by the second draft and became a work driven by a musical sensibility.

...empathy, sympathy, and pity...

I also avoided passages, particularly about characters, that delineated some sort of main theme or "timeless" concept. There are several in the book whose lives are instead described dispassionately, or without judgement (as much as possible).

A neutral stance isn't always easy to achieve, because of the natural desire to steer the reader into feeling a particular emotion, particularly sympathy. There's temptation to slant or change the characterization to do that. Which isn't forbidden in a novel, of course, but not desirable in my case.

The neutral stance is the most empathetic. That can result in passages where the reader might ask, is Al condoning what the character is doing or lacking any pity for the person?

There are parts of the book, for example, where a person eating out of a garage can is described in detail. Not just the physical minutiae, but the mentality. It's a scene without declarations of shock or horror, and written from the point of view of an observer who was also hungry, felt hopeless, and could understand where the scavenger was coming from.

I found that the first drafts of the scenes (added in the fifth run through) were as good as those would ever be. Every attempt to revise it took it further away from the raw, effective description and "judgement" began to creep in.

It was transitioning away from a mentality that could only exist in that moment to a mannered one stemming from the detachment that comes later when being able to eat well. My view of those incidents also differed between the early incidents and those seen much later. 

In the earlier passage, I was seeing it for the first time, the second was after being among the homeless for several months and had a clear idea of who scavenged food and why. 

It is a stark, visceral act to scavenge food, especially in front of people. My own feeling is that it should never happen, that society must make sure that no one is ever forced to do such a thing. That's obvious to anyone with even a shred of humanity.

To write about it from my point of view would risk making it about me and my feelings. To describe it from their point of view, humanizes the image, and requires a dispassionate lens, but in the end tells their story in a way that has a chance to be revelatory. The pathos is greater if the character isn't turned into an archetype. 

When the later incident didn't shock me, it wasn't because I had "become hardened," or self involved. There was an understanding among many of the homeless that anyone that desperate should be helped. How some did so could strike you as weird, but motivated by a humanity shaped by the moment. There was one collective effort for a mentally ill scavenger, described in the book that at the time, struck me both as very eccentric but filled with human warmth.

Food and water was offered freely, particularly if the person was new, and being stingy was a rare act in the circles I traveled in. In the summer months, for example, friends would come by and make sure we had cold water to drink and enough to eat.

...acceptance...

The main thing people gave each other was acceptance. 

Most homeless are acutely aware that they're being judged, often harshly. If they saw a person going through a garbage can, they almost never interrupted the act. I go into more detail about why in the book, but there were good reasons for that. 

The best time to approach the person, as a fellow homeless, was later on when the person was done. For one thing, there were various reasons a person could be doing it. Some had nothing to do with hunger. 

One reason was that we lived among a great many who were mentally ill. Some were harmless, some weren't. Interrupting a mentally ill person at a dumpster could trigger a unpredictable reaction, particularly at night. 

We learned to observe first before acting.

Several of the people who became friends had observed me for a few days before approaching. Some weren't sure I was "all there" because of my severely bad haircut at the time, constantly talking to myself, and the odd habit (to them) of carrying Ivy instead of using a leash (not to mention constantly talking to her also). There were reasonable explanations for the above, of course, but they couldn't know that. 

Being constantly short of sleep and good meals, often in fear, sometimes angry, and being dirty created a feral mindset that showed in the early drafts. My prose at some points could have been alternately mistaken for a motorhead rap, a paranoid who saw danger at every turn, and most valuable to my book, a realization that, at least in the present, he was one of them, had to live with them, and that they were just people like him. It's a mood that was worth preserving.

...the Ivy chapter...

For example, I'm glad I wrote the chapter about Ivy's death in the early drafts. Writing about it now as it really happened then would be difficult. The existing chapter captures the physical impact of devastation that fades with time.

One key point that the original account captured was that after Ivy died, an important link to sanity was gone. Admitting that I "lost it" is easy, but keeping in the actual thoughts and behavior of that moment that cycled rapidly through anger, ingratitude, pain, and even blasphemy would be a tempting candidate for self editing. Also, for several hours, I lost all awareness of my surroundings, and disregarded every precaution normally taken in a homeless area at night. 

There was shock, then a raw paralyzing fright that set in once the adrenalin was gone. Even as she died, I could still at least hang on to the notion that superhuman effort or desperate prayer might work, because even long odds sustain hope.

There's an old term, "staring into the abyss," that captures it perfectly. The dreams of the previous four months died that day, yet on that terrible night after it all happened, what actually ran through my mind surprised me even then. It wasn't suicide, getting numb from drugs, striking out in anger, or any of that. I'd have welcomed apathy at that point.

I think that any of us who has such a moment, where a stark truth hits so hard that it renders everything meaningless, and I think it's different for everyone, has to reaffirm something at their core, whether it's faith or a choice, and move into and through that "void."

The term "reaffirm" is a big theme in the second half of the book. There was a decision made four months earlier that turned out to be relevant that sad night, and pulled me out and forward. Like a ship that had been in a terrible storm, found itself well off it's path, but knew it's course and continued the journey. Though it's not always obvious, there's a path that starts in the first chapter all the way to the last.

The first draft ended in February just after the one year anniversary of becoming homeless. In fact, the ending had already been written. I considered leaving it that way, but decided that Ivy was too important to the story and kept writing, something another writer would understand.

She projected so much personality and helped galvanize so much help. If my writing ability is up to the level of ambition in this book, then perhaps you'll be rooting for me to succeed for at least pity's sake, but will most certainly admire Ivy's great big spirit. She started off homeless as a pup, but only got more indomitable no matter what life offered. Make no mistake, she knew we were homeless.

In the larger sense, everything I want to say in the book is there, and it's time to finish it. If all goes well, I'll be able to tell everyone that the final draft is completed on December 31st.

"Nothing, including alcohol, ranked as high as coffee for the Civil War soldier. Men drank it before, during, after, and in lieu of meals. Many wrote of it in letters home, praising the soothing qualities of a pistol-hot cup of grind."

- Thomas R. Flagel (The History Buff's Guide To The Civil War)

Coffee is one of mankind's great loves. It's regarded both as a necessity and a luxury worth paying extra for drinks that have less coffee in it. Most of the world actually prefers tea but like soccer as opposed to NFL football, it'll never replace coffee in the Western Hemisphere.

It only took me a few weeks of living in a car to regard coffee as just an occasional indulgence.

One problem with coffee is that makes you go to the bathroom too much. Going to the bathroom out there was often a real hassle. The other problem is that it's pricey by the cup. Even at a place like MacDonald's where it costs a buck, that was a day's worth of decent meals for my dog.

I eventually started buying a six pack of eight ounce generic cola for a dollar fifty for any needed caffeine boost, and most mornings that did just fine. Part of the reason that worked was because I was primarily a tea drinker for most of my life, so while I liked coffee, it wasn't irreplaceable.

Also, caffeine wasn't a useful drug out there. It could be tense enough, particularly at night, and if I could relax enough to sleep for a few hours, then that was more important. If sleep didn't come that night, I needed to be able to nap during the day.

I missed a lot of things but coffee wasn't high on the list, and have to admit, that was a surprise.

"And honey is the holiest thing ever was, hive, comb and earwax, the food for glory..."

- James Joyce (Finnegan's Wake)

Now honey, that was a different thing altogether. I wasn't a big fan of the stuff in regular life, but out there it was invaluable.

Bread is a cornerstone in any cheap diet, and a good loaf in a variety of flavors can be had for a dollar. Honey is perfect because it's affordable, makes bread taste great, and can be kept in a car as it doesn't spoil.

Honey has a different aura than other cheap foods. For example, beans and bread are quite filling and nutritious, but let's face it, it's still beans and bread. Now, bread with honey on it, well, that's like a snack at home with all it's comforts.

A nice cheap sweet snack was no small thing. Other amazingly cheap goodies, like oatmeal cream sandwiches, could turn white sugar into a punishing experience. I finished a box by scraping out the filling and just eating the cookies, but the joy was less than transcendent.

I don't consume much honey now, but like my dearly departed Birkenstocks, it was a friend when I needed it.

"How fleeting are the wishes and efforts of man! How short his time! and consequently how poor will his products be."

- Charles Darwin (On The Origin Of Species)

Alpha types tend to interpret "survival of the fittest" as a validation of aggression or masculinity, which is really more Nitchzie (or Ayn Rand) superman stuff. It is a part of natural selection, but the concept is more nuanced.

Being the biggest baddest dude may help get the women interested, but that only meant that he could win a head butting contest with other males. Assuming they fight fair.

Mankind didn't survive because of physical prowess. If we had depended purely on alphas, we'd have been on the desert menu for saber tooth tigers after their main course of he-men. The list of animals that can kick a human butt in a fair fight is long and beyond the scope of this blog entry. Though making such a list might be fun...maybe in a future blog.

What enabled us to evolve into beings that can create thousand dollar hamburgers and shoes was the ability to form groups that could forget political differences long enough to use their intelligence to manufacture weapons and gang up on the savage beasts (most of whom are heading quickly towards extinction, particularly if their body parts are thought to increase male verility).

Looking at the world now, it's obvious that man's main enemy and competitor on the food chain is man. Darwin noted that the competition within a species is more intense.

An invasion by martians might give mankind a reason to unite, but with our superior intelligence and egos that verge on God complexes, any resistance would be crippled by large numbers of people who'd prefer to collaborate and profit by treachery.

Idealists who believe in our innate niceness might scoff at that, but given the large number of people who wish they could become vampires or believe E.T.s built the pyramids, it's clear that the seeds of treason will always be present.

Well, maybe that is Darwinism after all. Like I said, the subject is full of nuance.

Anyway...the reason I discuss capitalism so much is that it is, in the Western World, more than God, the true state religion. Out there in the streets, it was a word that had a lot of relevance.

Like any philosophy or doctrine, capitalism often becomes what people say it is. Much of my early anxiety and fear of the streets was due to Hollywood and literary depictions of it being a tough place ruled by apex predators. Which, as I've said in the past, was found to be only partly true.

Capitalism is really about money. Nothing else.

Sure, there's things like power and status but none of that happens without money. Where that money goes and who gets it is only part of the doctrine. The comparisons to Darwin and survival of the fittest just tends to be one of many platitudes to keep the other 99% quiet and respectful.

The various species on this planet actually survive because of a multitude of successful strategies, but the main one is intelligence. "Street smarts" isn't just about being amoral or a supreme BS'er to survive. Most of the survivor types in my book were smart enough not to play the usual games.

"But I could not do the work of writing a book, or even a long magazine article, if it were not also an aesthetic experience."

- George Orwell (Essay: Why I Write)

I generally write out of sequence, as for whatever reason, the parts and passages tend to spill out of the consciousness in seemingly random order. That might be due to playing music, which may seem linear but isn't always so in the composition stage.

I wrote out the first draft knowing that the book wasn't opening in a satisfactory way, but kept writing, figuring to address it on the next run through. It was on the fourth pass where the first chapter really came together.

The second draft mainly added all of my thoughts and opinions, which would have resulted in an annoyingly subjective stream of consciousness book...but it was important in that the passages did delineate what I wanted the book to "say" and by the fourth draft was taking those mini essays out and putting in actual story, dialogue, and character actions to not only show what formed those opinions, but doing it a way that lets the reader decide what it means.

There were incidents that turned out to be connected to other passages and it was surprising to realize that there were things going on that weren't comprehended at the time.

For example, I saw things at the county social assistance office that seemed like simple friendly interaction between the homeless and gangs and totally missed the well oiled operation where dealers not only obtained ebt cards for sale but literally harvested homeless druggies for their monthly checks like sheep for their wool.

Also, as I constructed the story of one young woman, the various passages when combined showed her being groomed to become a truck stop hooker and that she was in fact being guarded and not just partying with the same group of guys. The final night she was in the area ended up in a scene that took on a much darker aspect than planned.

Part of the process was becoming more aware of what really happened so as a result, the decision was made to leave in descriptions as seen then, but tied together with better hindsight, with no later judgements or attempts at pathos. The reader can make their own judgement and conclusions, and even better, get a glimpse into their own feelings and attitudes by their reaction to the stories.

I'm still working that part out, how to describe the story as I saw it, and not as I see it now.

"Civilization has increased man's producing power a hundred-fold, and through mismanagement the men of civilization live worse than the beasts." 

- Jack London (The People Of The Abyss)

George Orwell saw Jack London as a person who truly understood fascism because of his atavistic Darwinian sensibilities. He also understood London because like him, he was also an "unreliable" socialist who saw the real world as opposed to trying to fit it into a doctrinal lens.

Both actually went in and lived in poor slum areas, and at times were among the homeless (though both had a different experience with it) and wrote about it. Homeless literature, particularly the first hand experience type, isn't a new phenomenon.

London did it when he was a successful, well off writer, and took the precaution to create a safe house during the early homeless phase of the book writing. There were points where he used it rather than tough it out on the streets, though one couldn't fault that as the intent was to create a first hand account rather than a memoir.

He wanted to understand slum life in London, who was living it, and portray the actual people and what they were like. What he saw deeply affected him. This was clear later in the book, when his feelings about the economic system and attitudes that made such a poor class even possible in a rich society came out. 

The focus was on people and their stories for the most part, and the understanding that poverty created a lifestyle that literally trapped people in it. Even more importantly, he was perceptive enough to realize that the poor wasn't one big group but several subcultures.

Orwell, who was inspired by London, engaged in similar forays into poverty zones and developed a similar take. Like his predecessor, the descriptions were detailed and remarkably free of judgement or preaching and more powerful because of that.

Orwell wrote two books, "Down and Out In London and Paris," and "The Road To Wigan Pier," both still worthwhile reading. The first part of the Wigan Pier book, which describes his experiences working among the Welsh Coal miners is a masterful, a true classic.

The second half of the Wigan Pier book, is a bit off topic, but worth describing. It assumes a devil's advocate role and discusses the faults of English socialism, and succeeded so well that the publisher of the book, a Socialist, felt it necessary to add a disclaimer that Orwell's essay in the second half didn't reflect the mainstream socialist view.

One of the offending passages said that socialists were perceived as sandal wearing "bearded fruit juice drinkers trying to eek out a few more years" of life, which also shows that the health food craze isn't a new phenomena.

As I said earlier, both he and London were considered "unreliable" socialists.  

The thing that affected me the most wasn't their descriptions of privation. A typical lunch before homelessness was often just beans, or cheese and bread. I didn't necessarily see having to eat a can of pork and beans in a car as a hardship.

What hit me was how important the mental aspect was, and the crippling effect of hopelessness and apathy. My own scariest moment wasn't due to any of the crime that was around or any physical threat.

It was when it hit me that the situation could be my life and future. It stemmed from a single incident that, in a manner of speaking, triggered an avalanche. A loss that any normal person might shrug off but felt cataclysmic at the time. That didn't happen to London, who could leave anytime. However, he did see that hopelessness was crippling, and that it was accentuated by the lifestyle. 

...the night life...

In one instance, he tried to stay out that night and sleep, then try to find a job in the morning. Instead, he had to join the multitude who were constantly chased out of doorways and parks, and finding that the police finally let them sleep when the parks opened during the day. Exhausted, and hungry, and with rain coming, he gave up and went back to the safe house. 

Seeing the homeless asleep on park benches during the day in America is generally dismissed as booze or drug fueled stupors, and certainly, that can be the case. Just as often, though, it's because they had to stay moving during the night, but for different reasons than London described. 

I devote a couple of chapters to that. I've stressed the importance of having a car in past blogs, that keeping it in running condition was the priority. The reason was that without it, I could end up on foot, carrying as much of my belongings as possible along with Ivy and in constant danger of being mugged at night.

In those chapters I reconstructed the night routines of various people that I saw. I know about it because during that six week period when my car was dead in the water, I had to think about what would happen if it was towed. There was at least one store manager who was trying his best to get the police to do that even though it was parked out on the street.

So, I watched the night people, where they went, their routines, where the safe areas were, etc. I didn't really think that if it came to being a back packer that it would stay that way for long. There were a couple of RV and car homeless that would have taken me in if that happened.

The problem was, that was an option only if they were still around.

For example, a couple and a woman who was part of an enclave, would dog sit Ivy so I could try to get a job, but the couple was chased out of town by the sheriffs department, the other by some store management and police. 

So suddenly within a two day period, no dog sitters. That's how unpredictable life was out there. I had to assume that if the car went away, we could be on our own for some period of time, and that it was dangerous to simply wander about without any plan or knowledge of the night scene.

The basic rule of survival on foot at night was either have a safe place (not to sleep, that would be stupid to do out in the open), or keep moving (at least until the "safe time"). 

The transient sleeping in a park archetype was described in London's book, and is still seen today. His comment is still relevant. He asked those who might assume it was just a lazy or dissolute person to realize that it might actually be the exhausted sleep of someone who'd been harried and moved along all night by the police. Once he experienced the night they had, they became real people and faces.

I can add, you would sleep out in public because bedding down in a private place is potentially very dangerous. Sleeping in an isolated hiding place is the equivalent of walking through dark alleys at night.

What I want to do is present the reader with faces and lives. Instead of an image of an unfortunate herd suitable for framing in a 90 second news spot or web article that mainly quotes business and property owners, it'll have stories like that of a young homeless woman escaping abuse and probably headed for a life of prostitution, drugs, or criminality. Put there by people who aren't homeless, and as a prostitute, serving members of respectable society not interested in helping her. 

Her story and others like it should say all what needs to be said. I think good decent people, like the ones who helped me so much won't need to be told what they're seeing.

I hope the book does a good job of letting you all see what I saw.

- Al Handa
  Dec. 13, 2018

...cover reveal for Hide In Plain Sight...


This is the cover for the upcoming book, Hide In Plain Sight, hopefully out sometime in 2018.

-Al Handa
The Al & Ivy Homeless Literary Journal Archive:

There are earlier blog entries on the Delta Snake Review section of this site that aren't on the On The Road page:
http://deltasnake.blogspot.com