Showing posts with label quitters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label quitters. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 5, 2022

On The RoadWith Al And Ivy: A Literary Homeless Chronicle - July 2022



“The first bombardment showed us our mistake, and under it, the world as they had taught it to us broke in pieces."


- Erich Maria Remarque (All Quiet On The Western Front, Trans. from the German by A. W. Wheen)


One of the first things a child learns is that there are mysteries and elders who illuminate those are guides whose wisdom is unchallenged until the budding adult realizes that humans are moony phlegmatics who often make stuff up.


The Ancient races were terrified whenever the sky turned black until they could calculate when eclipses would occur, accompanied by rites and sacrifices. Thanks to the Priests, no one ever died from an eclipse.


Astronomy eventually became common knowledge and a source of wonder rather than fear. That didn't end the power of priests, who just found new mysteries.


...proof is in the pudding...


That's why astronomy can be common knowledge, yet people will still send money to Nigerian Princes or believe that the earth is flat.


Professor Ivy's controversial 1987 book, "Food Bowls Are Righteous," asserts that if the world was round then dog bowls would constantly slide downhill.


This writer is unable to formulate an intelligent rebuttal to that penetrating observation.


...it isn't enough to know...


It isn't enough to know. If the data doesn't solve the problem, allay a fear, or confirm what the person believes, then it has little power or validity. The notion that somebody wants to give out free gold can be more compelling than knowing that Black Holes are dying stars. 


It's more complex than that, of course, as most people know that there's lots of reasons and dynamics in play, and not everyone can be as smart as they are. 


We grant the point and move on...


Now that I've established that truth and knowledge aren't absolutes, there's a historical event I'd like to discuss.


...armchair generals and similar types of priests...


The first armchair general was documented in 456,7892 B.C. when a Thessalonian Chieftain decided it was safer to have a high-ranking Satrap lead the Army into battle instead of him. 


The new General was subject to micromanaging by the inviolate monarch, which included postgame analysis by warrior commentators who couldn't make it to the battle or were on the injured list.


It was known as "ˌbaksēt ˈdrīvər" which has no English equivalent but roughly translates to "Telling the chariot driver how to steer the horses."


The modern archetype was first described in pictures on a clay pickle jar in 567,8910 B.C. when fierce warriors in the region now known as Chicago staged a mock battle to celebrate the glorious victory of the Bears over the Red Sox in the Peloponnesian War. 


The ASCII illustrations on the jar show several men standing off to one side, critiquing the tactics used by the two tribal generals and expressing dismay that the armor used by the warriors wasn't period correct.


Noted War Expert and dog food blogger Professor Ivy of Shitzu U translated the passage in 1967, which reads:


"Notede camp gamæ critic atticuſ mcdougal gavæ th' mock c'mbaÞ onlī 2 stars, nōn-ọ̄ther sin th' armor ophe th' warriorſ waſ from th' sinnen perioede a'd th' explosionſ weræ obviouslī fakæ."


Other Armchair Generals added more clarity on the Rotten Rutabaga site:


"Marcis Ohreally is miscast as the gentle, sensitive commander who was forced to execute 800 of his men for dress code violations and flinching when the arrows showered down upon their heads."


Professor Ivy also noted in her translation, "Sometimes it's necessary for those who haven't seen combat to define martial values like courage and sacrifice as most soldiers are too preoccupied with their survival to delve into ethereal concepts of war."


...tribal chiefs...


That original Tribal Chief found that when a general was killed, there were plenty of others eager to take his place. This allowed him to concentrate on essential duties of state and a harem of 1,234 wives.


The brave Chief suffered a heart attack at around the 500th wife but luckily, there were 23 male heirs. After 22 died suddenly, the 23rd, a spry young man named Hoosier Acropolis assumed the throne.


His first task was to start a war, of course, so he summoned the latest general to give him the order.


The problem was Hoosier had no idea who to invade or how. Luckily, the General who was named Trojan Horace said it would be taken care of and all the Chieftain had to do was equip the Army, and he'd take of the rest.


Hoosier looked at the bill and wondered why the toilet seats cost 50 gold pieces each. Also, the new chariots that fired machine gun arrows weren't operational due to problems with the high-tech wheels that used innovative square geometry that would prevent cowards from retreating.


He decided that war must be like predicting eclipses and appointed a priest to handle the mysterious art, and went back to the vital task of creating a male heir with his harem of 646 wives.


...the original Pentagon...


The War Priest's first task was to commission a series of bronze tablets inscribed with stirring tales of the young Chieftain's courage in battle and prowess in bed, having reached wife number 323 before his untimely death from a hernia and dehydration.


This work, known as "The Bayou Tapestry" is considered the first published novel because nothing in it was true, though it's become a valued reference work on many Internet history web sites.


...now about modern warfare literature...


War literature is generally one of two types; Tales of great warriors and leaders that tend to be pro-management in sentiment or anti-war tracts written mainly by war veterans (or those who empathize with them).


That and movies. There are ultra-bloody and gory "war is hell" films that portray leaders as egotistical cretins who waste people's lives and live in luxury. Such celluloid tales won't be discussed in this blog because it isn't clear if Hollywood is talking about the Pentagon or studio heads and producers.


Please note that I've oversimplified for brevity and to meet the exacting standards of accuracy required for Internet commentary, which has a plus-minus rate of error of 50%.




...sides of the same coin...


Two classic works provide compelling views of both sides; Sun Tzu's "Art Of War" and "All Quiet On The Western Front" by Erich Maria Remarque.


Sun Tzu's manual was written sometime before 500 B.C., and like Homer, it's not clear if he was an actual person. The first English translation was in 1910 and was probably a cult item amongst Military types until it became a popular primer on leadership in business and other fields that purport to have leaders.


It isn't a pro-war book in the classic sense but some of it's popularity can be attributed to what could be called the "Cult Of Leadership," or the idea that a leader is responsible for the success of an army or organization.


An old war movie with this sensibility (like from the 40s or 50s) would depict an army or group of soldiers transformed into an enthusiastic bunch by a charismatic leader (generally a handsome alpha male) who also comes up with a clever trick that baffles the enemy and sends them running for home or to meet their maker.


More recent movies (with some exceptions) take it a step further and make it seem like battles are won by rock star warriors who break the rules, have guns that never run out of ammo, and please some of the males in the audience by bringing female officers down a peg or two.


That might be true for elite units that perform special missions, but after all the brilliant strategy and planning in World War 2, for example, Omaha Beach was stormed by regular guys just doing their duty and doing most of the dying.


...discussion groups...


Most amateur historians and war buffs will discuss strategy and tactics and critique the leadership.


Which is important; leadership is an indispensable element but like with analytics in Pro Sports, it's easy to talk theory and probabilities because that's what the ordinary person can see. Books like The Art Of War give readers a picture that's easier to grasp. 


Which is good. Even though the Military History genre has its share of jingo's, tech geeks, and war porn addicts, it's also produced valuable anti-war literature and a sub-genre of what could be called realistic war studies.


There's one book in the latter category that comes to mind, "The Face Of Battle" by John Keegan.


Keegan's book studied three battles that occurred in the same area of Flanders in France; Agincourt, Waterloo and Somme Offensive.


The book was a then groundbreaking study that examined what really happens during a battle. That is to say, what men actually did as opposed to the more poetic descriptions like "the men charged forward in an irresistible wave that carried all before them."


Keegan's book describes accounts by soldiers about men being issued gin or rum before battle, so they fought drunk, cavalry that avoided mixing it up and riding in opposite directions, Military Police behind the lines to catch deserters and shirkers, sergeants carrying spears in the gunpowder to push the line of soldiers forward if they faltered and many other fascinating facts.


The question that Keegan examined the closest was what made men fight when the battlefield was so terrifying.


...the common factor...


The most common reason highlighted in modern war movies was that men fought for each other. Which is undoubtedly true.


However, it's more complicated than that. The Face Of Battle delineates a list of factors from patriotism (professed by people at home as well as the commanders), peer pressure, threat of punishment, training to bypass the fear reflex, and tactics that place soldiers in situations that trigger the survival instinct or rescue comrades.


Those aren't factors that John Keegan made up. The book "All Quiet On The Western Front," written in 1929 by a war veteran, pretty much says the same thing (more on that later).


...how to make war...


James Dunnigan's 1983 "How To Make War" was a similar book for the World War 3 High Tech era. Unlike commentary that assumes weapons work as advertised, he took a hard look at the actual stats. He created a survey of modern armies and their hardware that differentiated between what people think a weapon will do and what it actually does.


It may seem vulgar or less important than a football betting line to have a working knowledge of military hardware. You might not be fooled into buying the Brooklyn Bridge for not knowing, but someone will sell you (the taxpayer) a destroyer that cost billions and couldn't use the main gun because the shells cost 800,000 each.


Such books are about the less sexy subject of logistics. It's more appealing to discuss strategy on the intellectual level or talk about warriors who lust for battle and kick butt a la Braveheart.


...anti-war novels...


It's not a coincidence that veterans often write anti-war novels. They see a different picture than the general public does.


In a key passage in Remarque's remarkable work, the main character Paul ruminates on how he ended up on the Western Front, and all of the factors that Keegan later wrote about are present. The sense of duty remains, but all of the glamor is gone.


...back to the movies...


Movies often focus on gore as it's an entertainment medium and serious anti-war films rarely sell tickets. The ones that do well focus on soldiers doing a dirty job that has to be done, complaints about management, and the glory of sacrifice.


The elephant in the room is the morality of war, and the usual plot device is to talk about the horror and futility but ignore the most obvious solution of refusing to do it (which happened a lot throughout history). 


There have been instances of large-scale mutiny. In World War One, a large part of the French Army went on strike after yet another battle that became a bloodbath. They didn't quit or desert but made it clear that there'd be no more offensives until changes were made.


The leaders were arrested (and some executed) but the French Leadership did appoint a new commander who promised that there would be no more wasteful attacks. This incident was, of course, kept secret from the Germans who would certainly would gone all out demanded terms had they known.


...Tet Offensive...


The French civilians didn't know either, having been fed a steady diet of victory news and takes of courageous feats. If they'd known, it would have probably created as big an outcry as the American public did during the Tet Offensive during the Vietnam War.


Although war buffs describe that situation as the American public (particularly Walter Cronkite) not seeing that it was a tactical victory for the American Army, it shows what happens when the Pentagon (and Intelligence agencies) gets called on B.S.


There are practical reasons for wartime leaders to keep secrets, of course, and a good example of what happens when the people and Army publicly lose faith in their leaders is the Russian Revolution. People generally think a bunch of Socialists just took over the country, but it was preceded by the complete collapse of the Army and surrender to the Germans.


...but it is complicated...


And to be fair, one does have to acknowledge that war is a complicated issue, and once the soldiers are committed, it's generally too late to start pondering the necessity or morality.


...in the trenches...


As Paul in the book All Quiet On The Western Front realized, in the trenches, there was little he could do about it except try to survive.


The Sun Tzu book doesn't help one understand war because any book of axioms gives the impression that there's a formula for victory. That effect is more pronounced in modern times because leaders no longer lead their men into battle (as opposed to Civil War Generals who died at twice the rate of the infantry). The further from the front, the more theoretical people get.


That's simplifying things a bit too much, but it's true. Wellington may have told his brigade commanders at the Battle Of Waterloo that they had to hold even if the cannon fire was devastating, but he did understand what the order meant because they were all under fire.


Most battle plans are conceived by rare geniuses or the more numerous average, mediocre or incompetent leaders. However, after all that, men still have to slug it out, and most attacks succeed due to better training and equipment, attrition, hard fighting, and luck.


And, of course, the remarkable and admirable courage of the average soldier. Which is why one will find more truth in a book like All Quiet On The Western Front than The Art Of War.


...all quiet...


Paul found himself in a terrifying situation, with no easy answers to the questions he asked himself but he did his duty.


The author Remarque served as a soldier in W.W. 1 and was severely wounded, so his book told the truth and asked the hard questions. His story didn't answer the question of why there's war, but it helped create the anti-war genre.


If veterans from each war keep writing books that ask, perhaps one day someone will be able to give an answer that everyone will agree upon. Until then, I hope they keep asking.



ANNOUNCEMENT: On The Road With Al & Ivy, The Anthology Vol 1 (2016-2018) now live!




I've put out an ebook called "On The Road With Al & Ivy - The Anthology Vol. 1." It contains the 30 blog entries from 2016 to 2018, which cover the start and end of my homeless journey. All have been re-edited with minimal revisions and notes to ensure clarity but preserves the mood and atmosphere of that period.


The Anthology has been placed as a free ebook on Kobo (epub) and as a .99 Kindle book on Amazon (which is as low as I can set it). The Kobo version is the same as the Kindle, except it doesn't have the introduction (which is reprinted later in this blog entry).


Both versions are available now.


I'll keep the free Kobo epub live until late July which will give anybody who wants a free copy plenty of time to download it.


After that, I'm going to pull Volume 1 off Kobo and enroll it in the Kindle Unlimited program and run it as a free book there for five days when it's eligible. 


I had considered "going wide" with it but didn't want a multitude of free versions in different formats floating around in cyberspace. 


Note: Feel free to share the book with friends, etc. Please do not upload it to any book site or distributor. It would force me to issue takedown requests to clear the deck for the transition to Kindle.


...Delta Snake...


The print version of the Delta Snake Review in the 80s was free (paid subscription if you wanted to get it by mail), yet at least one record store packaged it in sealed plastic and charged for it. I'm still a little salty about that.


I doubt that'll happen with this ebook but I do want a reasonable certainty as to where it's being distributed and want it in a nice format that keeps it a respectable work of art.


I consider it an archival project, and once it's set as a K.U. Ebook, will let it ride with just basic promotional effort after the free giveaway. It makes these 30 entries available to those who want it, and it's been a valuable first experience in the ebook environment.


...volume 2...


I'm compiling the 2019-2022 blogs as volume 2. The entries after 2018 evolved into a literary magazine-style format that encompassed essays, satire, photos, and illustrations. 


I'm not adding the 80s-era jazz-blues poetry referenced in the blogs is because its going to become an illustrated collection along the lines of of William Blake's "Illuminated books," a series of hand drawn works starting in 1788. Esoteric for sure, but almost all poetry these days is a labor of love.


I'll be doing an essay on Blake's Illuminated books at some point, so the reference will make more sense, but those are available in Kindle format if you're curious (and the samples aren't tied up with long introductions that keep you from the main body of the work). 


Since those blog entries won't be unpublished, I'll be free to format the volume in discrete re-edited and revised sections though the drawings will probably be kept with the associated essays. 


The idea will be to give readers a convenient, low-cost (probably .99) anthology of "back issues" and not to replace the blog, which remains free to read in chronological order. It's not a priority project but should be out around the summer of 2023.




...I, Ivy and Vella books update...


The "I, Ivy" book on Kindle Vella will be unpublished on August 28 and there have been no new chapters loaded since the initial debut.


The reason is that I'd like it to be available to overseas readers. The "Quitters" book is mainly targeted at an American audience but my hope is that the Ivy book will appeal to a wider audience.


I'm shooting for a late September release date for a series of novella length ebooks. Each "I, Ivy" volume will be around 25,000 words and priced accordingly. 


I'm going to revise the first three chapters that are online as those are currently written for the episodic Vella environment and seem a bit too sparse for an ebook.


The Quitters book should wrap up in early August and a book two will begin in October as a Vella series. Like with the Ivy book, that volume will be novella length (though more in the 45,000 word range) and after revision, be released as a low cost Kindle ebook.


That schedule may seem tight but the Ivy book is intended to be a light work that's fun to write (and hopefully to read), and the Quitters will mainly have material added that was left out of the Vella version.  




Here's the intro to the Anthology Vol.1


INTRODUCTION TO VOLUME 1 (2016-2018)


This anthology begins from the point I became homeless, or more specifically when I admitted it. "On The Road With Al & Ivy" was supposed to be a part of my Delta Snake Review blog, which focused on music and instrument reviews. 


The idea was to make it one of many features on the site. The first few entries drew a lot of readers. The visits went from 3,000 to 75,000 in two months, most of it from Twitter users. It was never clear why but Twitter labeled the Delta Snake Review on Google's Blogspot as an unsafe site which had a chilling effect on readership. Google and Twitter were in some dispute, which might have been the reason. A Twitter friend suggested that I might have been caught in a "reply trap" in which a group of users tagged me as a spammer, which can trigger a ban. 


I posted the link from another blog site as a workaround rather than give up the Delta Snake. It was intended as a temporary measure as Twitter was the only site that flagged it. I eventually decided to spin it off as a separate entity which Twitter allowed. It took time for readers to return since most had been told it was a dangerous site. 


That means many of the early entries will seem new. I kept posting entries even though a lot of the audience had gone away, which is what any true writer will do. My original plan was to revisit the early "On The Road With Al And Ivy" entries and correct any misspelled words and that sort of thing. 


One of the first things I noticed was that the entries were no longer in chronological order. Another oddity was that passages taken out in 2017 (after deciding to write a book about that time) were all back in. The mess was bad enough that it was easier to pull those entries from the site and reissue the re-edited material as an ebook, including the previously deleted material. 


One thing I knew would happen is that the essays feel different in tone and style (than those written in the last few years). The 2016 blogs were written by a person averaging two to four hours of sleep for a couple of months and had lost access to high blood pressure and anxiety meds. I was stressed and often snarky or angry even when trying to be humorous. My emotions ranged from forced optimism to grudging acceptance of the situation. 


My writing style used conventions that one could say were influenced by Jack Kerouac, Henry Miller and Tom Wolfe. 


In retrospect, that seems to be the case. Writing a collection of thoughts, fragments, and observations is well suited to a writer whose emotional state is wildly fluctuating. It's a sketchpad with every immediate impression written down. 


As a result, the subjects can range from deeply thought-out ideas to obsessions over trivialities. 

There's a complete picture there when taken as a whole.


I was often embarrassed by my writing but resisted the temptation to correct grammar or split the long Beat-style paragraphs into "proper English" sentences. These early chapters are more topical and reflect the emotions of a person trying to understand what was going on and why. 


There are several essays in this volume that are too strident and even a bit wrong or unfair but valuable as a snapshot of a homeless person's mindset and worth keeping unchanged. It was reassuring that the material now seems remote and shows that I've been recovering from the PTSD experienced later on. It makes me grateful for the small comforts of ordinary life. 


It's not a continuous narrative. I allude to events that were documented elsewhere on social media sites but decided to keep notes and references to a minimum. It's a collection of snapshots and updates that capture a mood, and Filling the book with explanations and notes would mute the impact. 


That abruptness isn't an affectation or stylistic decision. My time sense changed out there, and life went from moment to moment rather than the passing of minutes and hours. 


For reasons explained in the book, life felt like a blur that merged events from the past and present. Each blog entry described what was on my mind at the time. I left in passages that now seem overly dramatic or even scatterbrained. It's because there's a mood that editing would mute or destroy, so I'll just trust that readers will see the intent. 


For example, there are some comments about capitalism that might anger those who view it as a faith or natural law, but the point wasn't to preach Socialism or revolution. The underlying sensibility is that there is inequity in the system and it's natural to be angry or disappointed about it. 


A lot of what I wrote came from conversations with other homeless. They all aren't in a drug stupor and why they're out there is a compelling question that's talked about a lot. 


There were some features about Ivy that were deleted but mainly because those were part of the pictorials that were left out. The essays were kept in, including her obituary. 


I still wish that I'd have been able to bring her out alive, but I didn't leave her there and made sure her remains arrived at the new home before me. That fulfilled a promise that made in 2016 and will be explained in the upcoming novel. 


These chapters are source material but contain no spoilers and are deliberately vague at times to avoid outing people. For example, I didn't identify benefactors because there were homeless at the time who'd search out names to solicit cash. 


In the forward for the novel, there'll be full thanks for my rescue. That said, I'll get out of your way and let you read this ebook but will add one final thing. 


A woman who was a homeless advocate and activist wrote me in 2016 and said that the blog made it feel like she was in the car experiencing all these things.


 I hope you feel the same way and pray that none of you will ever have to live the life this book describes. 


- Al Handa 6/23/2022


END OF BOOK EXCERPT


-Al Handa


My music group, Handa-McGraw International has new singles out on Spotify, Apple, Amazon Music, Youtube Music and 140 other sites!




Don't for get to check out The Quitters on Kindle Vella!



























Thursday, May 19, 2022

On The Road With Al And Ivy: A Literary Homeless Blog - May 2022



"...if you wish to know what a man really is give him power."

- Robert G. Ingersoll - 1883

The origin of "retail workers" is well documented. In 1969, a stale potato chip that people in Chicago thought was the spitting image of the Virgin Mary turned out to be a petrified slice of scalloped potato that an Internet expert dated as being from 198,7890,765 A.D. and was actually an excerpt from the Lost Gospel Of Murgatroyd, Chapter 3, paragraph 14. [Citation needed: The writer admits the "A.D." is an autocorrect error and should read "B.C." but says if not editing any work of genius was good enough for Kerouac, it's good enough for the AI bot he claims generated this blog entry. Besides, the increase in historical accuracy would be minimal even if corrected]

The excerpt relates that the great Babylonian King Hammaruby MacLaughin The Awesomely Dishy One asked the wise men of his council, "How do we create a class of people who will free us up from distractions like clothing, feeding, and providing shelter for our amateur laborers?"

Ishtar Von Strauss, a young but prodigiously talented man whose precocious intelligence marked him for early execution to eliminate competitors to Hammarubi's rule replied, "There is a new religion called 'Mash' which says pay them peanuts and let them worry about how to feed and clothe themselves."

…oh wise one…

The wise benevolent King regretfully had him barbecued on the Holy Grill for heresy against the one true faith which was himself; but never one to waste a good idea, he decreed that all amateur laborers were to be freed, and paid the lowest possible wage to continue doing the same work.

Some of the nobles fretted that this would remove a source of free labor. One Sultan named Conan Smith suggested that perhaps women could be made into a slave class, but that was seen as a redundancy to the existing order and the idea was quickly dropped.

Unfortunately so many pilgrims kissed the Holy Scalloped Potato to receive the Virgin's blessing that it disintegrated and it was assumed that The Holy Mother returned to heaven after yet another futile attempt to bring Christian values to Chicago.

Although Babylon didn't survive the onslaught by Iron Age Assyrian Warrior Jocks, the basic concept of the Retail Worker survived.

…serfs up dude…

An agricultural system was developed in the Middle Ages whereby wretched peasants who needed something to do when not being used as unpaid infantry were given a plot of land to farm and allowed to keep approximately one half of the crop and to pay 30 to 50% of the land value in taxes (or the rest of the harvest if he couldn't come up with the cash I would imagine). The serf also had to work the noble's personal land for free, accepting occasional beatings and humiliation (a custom that survives into modern times in the service sector), providing female relatives for sexual services, and cleaning out the castle privy once a week rain or shine.

It goes without saying that some nobles probably took more, though accounts of abuse and exploitation were refuted in 1822 when noted Medieval Scholar Ivydog Tremain uncovered a 1098 A D. text from the King of Siam. The translation from the ancient sanskrit reads as follows:

"Our Ever Superb and Sexy Potentiate is passionate about creating an exciting and innovative workplace for our valuable and cherished Associates. The Son of the Great Serpent Goddess Jasmintea takes any accusations of exploitation seriously and promises swift and painful retribution for those who make such specious claims about their Sovereign."

The concept of retail workers almost disappeared with the end of serfdom as land became too valuable to remain rental properties for unwashed peasants who lowered property values and compounded the problem by refusing to fight for free in sundry raids and wars without some sort of actual compensation besides the right to grow food and the occasional sacking and looting of towns. 

…show me the money…

Paying people in actual goods was very expensive. Duke Prune of Laxitve in a 1024 A.D. tweet noted that feeding each foot solder cost a half-penny per day. That would be the equivalent of about a million dollars today, or just enough to buy a hamburger in New York City.

[Citation needed: writer appears to be using the standard U.S. Government algorithm for estimating the Defense Budget as seen below: 

#include <stupd.h>
int main()
{
   // Rip off taxpayers instruction inside quotations
   int testbudgetInteger = .05
   printf("Number = %d", testbudgetInteger);
   return 1000000;
}
]

The noted French scholar Nostrildumo commented in a Facebook post that the one true retail worker concept was before it's time because money that was almost worthless hadn't been invented yet.

The beauty of currency is that the more you print, the less it's worth, thus increasing the size of the service sector brings down costs as the payrolls are covered by increasingly cheaper dollars. [Citation needed: The writer hasn't met the stringent Internet requirements to qualify as an online Economist which requires possession of a valid free email address and social media account. He appears to assume the dollar was a monetary standard in 1023 A.D. which at least one out of the three fact checker agencies contacted declares is possibly fake news]

…1776…

They say (not sure who "they" are, finding out would take actual research) that necessity is the birthing person of invention and the little known "Crisis Of 1776" created the crucible in which modern retail workers and other social inferiors were created.

In 1776, American merchants and rich land owners had someone who knew how to write in very nice looking cursive create what was called "The Declaration Of Independence" which became the law of the land after a brisk but victorious war with England, various Native Americans who owned land coveted for commerical development, and fellow Americans who felt that the British tax rate was preferable to the IRS. 

The Second Biological Parents of the new republic then doubled down with a document called "The Constitution" which codified the basic rights of man into law. An impasse in the Continental Congress caused by objections to the statement "all men are created equal" was resolved by simply assuming that the Declaration didn't apply to anyone who wasn't considered a "men" back then, which included women, anyone of color, slaves, foreigners, Irish, prisoners of war, horse thieves, cattle rustlers, claim jumpers, poker cheaters, people trying to purchase goods with beaver pelts, anyone caught kicking in a fair fight, and any varmint who didn't own at least three firearms.

In other words, as the 1778 blogger Ivan Fogger wrote, "The restless American ethos found expression in the 'ad litteram' adaptation of the core principles of Greek Democracy which made everyone equal as long as they were muscular rich dudes of good birth." The inspiring march to total equality became a sprint by the 1970s whereby even women gained the right to mouth off about pro athletes and run up credit card bills.

…problems and solutions…

This created a dilemma: If everyone is equal, who can people look down on and abuse?

The solution was found in 2056 when The Fed suggested that since the value of the dollar was no longer tied to the gold standard and was just a piece of paper with a fiat value set by the Government, then valuations of people could be tied to the dollar which would restore it to it's rightful place as a measure of social standing.

This intricate and possibly nonsequitur monetary logic has the odor of pungent truth and explains the dynamic between a customer and retail worker which also involves the temporary granting of absolute power to the former made possible by lots of money.

…status…

This relationship has been described elsewhere in various articles but the basic idea is that a customer assumes an elevated status once he or she enters the store. The retail clerk or associate's task is to make the experience of extracting every dollar from wallets or purses as pleasant as possible. That also means that customers know that they're dealing with someone who's cognizant of the fact that any screw up or conflict can cost them their job. 

Most of us are aware of this and temper any impulse to strangle or bullwhip a clerk with the realization that getting a person fired over a mistake or rudeness (possibly due to having a bad day with customers) is, at least after passions have cooled, a case of overkill.

Most of the people who assault or abuse retail or service sector workers come from a small subset of people who use the temporary power to amplify anger or sociopathy. I should note that one exception to my point about how a small subset of people uses power is the customer service field, where a very large percentage of both customers and service workers torture each other like couples do after ten years of marriage.

…Machiavelli’s The Prince…

One of the most famous dissertations about power is Machiavelli's "The Prince" which was published in 1532 (though written much earlier). It was intended as “an instruction manual for new princes and royals” as the Wiki site states, which of course makes it an ideal primer for Americans.

The author discusses the pragmatic use of power though one of many modern interpretations is that gaining and holding power can require the use of amoral or brutal means.

Machiavelli wasn't creating anything new. His book is an analysis of then current and past rulers and describes those who successfully gained and held power (plus examples of those who failed). Abridged versions can make his observations and lessons read like maxims which is misleading as many of his statements were part of detailed essays that provided context, and more importantly, nuance.

For example, his assertion that a ruler must at least maintain the appearance of being moral isn't an absolute if the full section is read. The point is that using force or immoral methods may be necessary but that a moral face should be put on it. That's a complex point and can be interpreted as a justification for hypocrisy or lying, just as the "It's nothing personal just business" phrase from Mario Puzo's Godfather book is often used to rationalize cold blooded or sociopathic acts.

…black and white…

Both authors rarely used black and white interpretations in their books (though I'm sure the experts might argue fine points). In Machiavelli's case the Prince was urged to rule justly if at all possible, and I refer readers back to my blog entry about Puzo's Godfather for a fuller discussion about the "just business" phrase.

If Machiavelli's writings distilled basic principles for using or holding power, then one related conclusion is that basic human behavior hasn't changed very much either. 

...a little digression from power about witch hunting…

For example, the labels and morality may change but a witch hunter in medieval times was basically the same type of person who now tries to get this or that behavior or thought severely punished. 

The issue isn't just power but the type of power. The most dangerous aspect of a witch hunt isn't the punishment but that an unsupported accusation can be enough to condemn a person if it fits a popular or enforced prejudice. These processes generally operate with the tacit or open consent of a group or population. Many people treat disagreement or nonconformity as a form of stupidity, danger to society, or evil intent and that's a fertile environment for mobs and witch hunts.

The Inquisition added the formality of a trial to add legitimacy and the tribunals were run by respected people of their day (at least publicly) and contrary to modern thought that assumes everyone is a rebel, these trials were probably regarded by the populace with the same range of attitudes you see on the Internet.

…look to the future…

When one reads the news, listens to experts on cable news going on about this or that event, or sees a social media attack, it's good to remember that there'll be a time in the distant future when others will look at what happened and not only judge the idea but also the process. That's why terms like "witch hunt," "kangaroo court," or "lynch mob" are now synonymous with oppression, bigotry and even insanity, as opposed to being what people at the time thought were acts of justice and the protection of society.

It could be argued that Machiavelli was also, as George Orwell would have put it, a power worshipper. In his era, there wasn't a lot of experience in democracy, which not even the Greeks saw it the way Americans do. He was writing more to impress and flatter his superiors to create a job opportunity than to impart the wisdom of the ages, and tended to talk about "the people" like they were a herd of sheep to be led by nobility. The book is also an affirmation of monarchies and their self-interest. 

That's not to say it's a useless book in a democratic age. The various social and power structures still exist. Outside of those specific areas covered by the Constitution and laws, there is no guaranteed equality. 

A CEO or manager can be as ruthless or absolute as any dictator, at least as long as he or she makes money for the company and stockholders. An athletic coach can treat any non-millionaire athlete like a peon as long as the team is winning. Even if a leader violates the law, like with harassment, it's still as difficult to get justice as it was for a commoner going up against a Duke. In most professions it's still sort of acceptable to engage in backstabbing, lying, cheating, and manipulation as long you don't get caught or turn a profit.

In other words, most morality is regulated on the honor system and that grey area is the playground of Machiavellians.

I do consider Machiavelli's The Prince to be essential reading. It may not hold any universal truths for you, but the fact that so many of the world's political and social leaders follow or appear to follow precepts from the book makes it a way to understand the world they create as it is, not as they say it is.



...and now for cat lore...

"A Roman soldier who had accidentally killed a cat was torn to pieces by the mob before the eyes of Diodorus, although the Romans were at the time masters of the country, and the reigning Ptolemy did his utmost to save the offender. For the majority of the people the cat was an incarnate god."

- Archibald Henry Sayce 
(The Religions of Ancient Egypt and Babylonia 1903)


Vampire Kitty: Women And Cats - Part One

You women may be shocked to read this, but more than a few men have been known to act like entitled spoiled brats, though the reason for such feminine ignorance may be because such manly behavior has been the norm for so long that it's induced a state of psychological lobotomization or assumption of normalcy.

However, noted scholar and Professor Ivydog of Shitzu U has identified the primary spiritual bulwark against the wear and tear of toxic masculinity in her best selling self-help book, "Men Give Me A Case Of Ass," which is, of course, getting a cat.

In her uncompromising tome, Ivydog poses the question "why would women pick an animal that is hard to please, demanding and aloof when they could just get married?"

This humble writer has no satisfactory answer, and the good Professor couldn't find one either in the course of 13,456 pages complete with footnotes and illustrations. There were some good guesses though.

Note: This blog is passionate about providing a balanced view of issues, so the following review of Professor Ivydog's book is quoted here. It was written by Hiram MacCheesemo and reads as follows:

"The good professor fails to realize that pets mirror their owners. Women relate to cats because they take regular baths, prefer to poop in clean bathrooms, keep their dingies spotless, nag their owners, take care of their fur, and enjoy spas. Men prefer dogs because they slobber, eat with their mouths open, never bathe unless forced to, go to the bathroom anywhere, lick their genitals, eat anything including their night soil, sniff people's butts and feet, chase pussycats, bark at people, and lie to their wives about how much they paid for a guitar."

As you can see, there are two sides to every story.

Modern civilization is fortunate to have insight on such mysteries due to the efforts of male writers in ancient times to create speculative tracts on the nature of womynkind's connection to pussy cats and achieving this feat without asking women what they thought.

…insight…

There probably were ancient writings on the subject by women, though after translation or editing by publishers (men of course) most have also ended up concluding that feline fans are witches, demons, shamans, Jezebels, or some combination of those archetypes. [Citation needed: The writer claims that he got the background information for this essay from a Latikian Shaman who runs a website that asserts that Joan Of Arc was in fact a time traveler from Chicago who went back to save France from a fatty diet of bangers and mash and disgusting warm beer that tastes like horse pee. Our fact checkers do agree that the French dodged a bullet there]

Men have no one to blame but themselves for the female-meow tribe bond, at least to the extent that they care. They've created a body of literature that indoctrinates women from birth to expect a dishy monogamous Prince to come and take them away to a life complete with luxurious castle and unlimited credit. The odds of finding such a paragon are about the same as getting real meat in a two dollar sandwich.

…quick start instructions…

Fables and Fairy Tales serve as quick start instructions for kids to learn morality and enforce the social order. Men use such training on young females before they realize they're smarter and a lot tougher. Women use such training on children before they become teenagers who realize that they're, duuuh, smarter than everybody and a lot tougher.

One Japanese Fable, "The Vampire Cat of Nabeshima" combines a beautiful woman and a vampire cat to create the ultimate vixen, although like many parables you can read anything you like into it.

I won't go into detail about it as it's one of many stories in a public domain Kindle book (Tales Of Old Japan by Lord Redesdale) so it can be enjoyed for free without my risking giving out a spoiler. In short, the fable is about a supernatural demon cat that assumes the body of a beautiful woman and becomes a badass "Vampire" spirit who begins to oppress a nobleman. Which come to think of it, sounds like it could have been written by a woman.

…lost in translation…

It's possible that the original Japanese text described a different sort of apparition and the author, who was British, might have used the word vampire as the closest English equivalent. In his era the succubus was a terrifying damned soul that was a blood sucker who could only be stopped by the power of a crucifix, a vegan diet based on fresh garlic, sharpened chop sticks, tricking it into partying all night so the rising sun can barbecue it, or it's power attenuated by media overexposure.

Vampire stories weren't created solely to sell movie tickets, but served as a traditional way to hound people into virtue and discourage teenagers from giving each other hickies.

In modern times, most sensible vampires stay out of the spotlight to avoid social media attacks, paparazzi, and the constant crush of groupies clamoring to be made into freshly minted undead (which would create a Malthusian Theory situation where predators eat themselves into extinction, except here you’d have billions of immortal blood suckers unable to post Instagram pics of their latest meal).

Tabby symbolism covers a wider range; from deities, spirits, demons, Ninja Warriors who fight mice and spiders, and the perfect accessory pet for witches and others who are part of Team Satan. Although a cynic might suggest such pejorative imagery reflects an ingrained masculine terror of women, a more reasonable explanation is that such kitterball lore served as cautionary tales about the evil feminine powers of females until the advent of Heavy Metal lyrics in the 70s, after which men conceded that women scare the daylights out of them. [Citation needed: our fact checkers found no evidence that metal rockers fear women and that the animus stems from competition for dwindling supplies of cheap aerosol hairspray]

Keep in mind that the subject of women and cats is actually more complex than I've described and as the great Roman philosopher Ivy Shizuticus said in 123,456,789 B.C., "Ego inviously loqueris multum BS hic ad entertainment proposita."

In Part 2, I'll delve deeper into cat literature, including more on Soeseki's classic book, "I Am A Cat."








The Quitters Update - May 2022

The book is up to 20 chapters, though that's due to keeping the episodes short to prevent each from being too expensive. My preference would be for less and each to be twice as long so more detail and backstory can be added. 

What I'm planning to do is end this book sometime during July with the main character heading to Southern California. Instead of making it a very long series, I'll continue Nym's adventures there into a second book and that'll allow me to extend the story into the early 80s. I haven't decided if the character will go into synth pop, new wave or power pop yet. It's been fun creating this book, so I'll just keep writing it on the fly and explore.

I'm going to compile the episodes in the first book and after revising it, put it out as an eBook. I can add a lot of material that would have added a lot of color and context to the story but slowed the pacing down in the Kindle Vella episodic format. For example, I had planned to add a running narrative about the English and New York punk scenes to the book, but left a lot of that material out. The eBook version will give the reader a fuller view of the late 70s punk movement and also more about how the Rock Establishment reacted to it.

I did integrate some of that into the episodes, but the fuller chapters struck me as being more appropriate for a full novel one can read at a more leisurely pace. I enjoy the Vella format as it's nice to essentially get paid to develop a story, but it's obvious that a serial and a discrete novel are two different types of projects. Each has it's advantages.

Hide In Plain Sight Update - May 2022

One major change is that I've decided to use the original ending that was in the early drafts. The events in my book actually ended a few weeks before Ivy passed away, and including that sad time made it necessary to rewrite the second half, or more specifically, create a new set of chapters to cover that and the aftermath. The book had to be built up to a different ending and the new chapters never felt like a good fit.

The original drafts were a bit dark, though I rarely revised the wording of the key passages. One of the things I had to deal with out there was the constant fear and fatigue from irregular sleep. That affected how I behaved and it shows in the pacing and wording of the early chapters. It’s important to keep that feel, as the later chapters are about coming to terms with the situation and the help that people on the Internet began to give me. 

I struggled out there, but Ivy, a rescue dog with some issues from her past began to blossom and became quite happy and settled. She became my therapy dog and her part of the book should be a celebration of all that, and how inspirational it was. 

The best tribute would be to put out the book as originally planned, where both Ivy and I found a way to survive and even find some happiness out there, as unlikely as that might seem to someone who hasn't been a homeless person.

Even the worst luck eventually changes. Unless one can shed the shame reflex, blame, depression and fear and keep oneself whole, you won't be in any condition to respond when the opportunity to get out comes along. I think the original version does a good job of showing how we managed that. Having everything in it is more like a biography, which is a different kind of book, and not my intent.

The original book was 3/4 done. That means it should be completed for sure this year and it'll feel good to finally get it out. To paraphrase Henry Miller, I want to get this book done so I can get working in the next one.

..Chapter Excerpts...

Chapter 4: Nym’s Cool World

"It's a crisp August evening in the sin section of Broadway Street. The summer crowds are gone, and the sound of cars and busses are replaced by the shrill, desperate pitches of strip joint barkers now fishing in depleted waters.

Night is the best time, there's less detail, and the world’s simpler. It's easier to be me, enjoying the feeling of knowing I’m coming back to play again.

I’m skipping the third band, and just workin' on my Punk 'tude outside the pinball parlor next door. I'm puffing on a French cig, which adds cool and helps me resist the rich smell of Phillipino food from the restaurant section of the club. My macaroni and cheese dinner with a coke chaser is starting to wear off."

Chapter 5: The Negatives: A Punk Action Movie In Real Life

"The crowd’s colliding like bumper cars, so Ross jumps and twists in the air, giving the tourists a picture of wild, chaotic energy. 

It's like a modern art painting in motion! The Negatives' show has something for everyone! 

I'll have to ask Ross how he manages to get so much of his tongue hanging out like that. Whenever I try, I start gagging.

The fourth song, "Planet Toe Jam" is slower, which cools down the slam dancing. They want the crowd to just stand there, which sets up what's coming next. Plus in a longer set, it helps to have a romantic number so people can slow dance if they want to."

Chapter 6: Herman Hesse's Glass Bead Game - The Punk Version

"I gotta say he looks the part of a great artist; a big burly skinhead type who named his band after a Hermann Hesse novel. He says names like "Steely Dan" from Burroughs' "Naked Lunch," are too New York for his taste. Besides, being named after a dildo is so 60s!

I took Ida to see his show last month, and after she calmed down and agreed to not press charges, described the act as "Butt Love horseplay masquerading as performance art. It's definitely not entertainment."

I told Stew what she said, and he had the comment added to the group's press kit and asked me to thank her for the great review!"

Chapter 7: Marly Tells A Punk Bedtime Story

"Marly cuts the horn, then freezes like a brave knight who's just slain a dragon, which seems odd until I realize that some tourists are taking pictures. 

I subtly turn so my left side faces the cameras and pout at the ceiling. I take the goolie out of my mouth and hold it with two fingers near my chin, so the smoke curls near my face. Keeping it in your mouth makes you look like a puppy chewing on a biscuit, not very punk."

Chapter 8: Celebration At The Pup Chuck Wagon 24 Hour Hot Dog Diner

"There's no better place for a rising star to bask in new found glory than Pup Chuck Wagon, the 24 hour hot dog diner, a haven for San Franciscans who have more coolness than cash. Cheap food and everything you sit or eat on is washable!

I can afford a mustard dog, small fries and coffee if I use my bus money. It's only a half hour walk home and this night of achievement calls for a feast!"

Chapter 9: Nym's Walk Home

"How did you know I spent my bus fare?"

Jesus guy sighs, "You passed a bus stop on Stockton without stopping, I'd have given you the fare but Phil came, so I just took the next bus."

"You assumed Phil would give me fare money?"

"I ordained it, it's what I do child, besides, I can't go giving you cash every time you go broke, my wallet would be so light it'd float me back into Heaven and I'd have to do the Resurrection all over again."


The Al & Ivy Homeless Literary Journal Archive:

There are earlier blog entries on the Delta Snake Review section of this site that aren't on the On The Road page:
http://deltasnake.blogspot.com





Cover Reveal For Hide In Plain Sight


This is the cover for the upcoming book, Hide In Plain Sight, hopefully out sometime in 2022.


Also check out my channel on YouTube, The Electric Fog Factory!