"Please understand that a Homeric song is sung to the lyre, and therefore intended for entertainment, no more and no less."
- Robert Graves (Homer's Daughter)
Finding good music used to be a simple matter; you liked who or what the media told you to like (and buy).
The power to make or break an artist or record was jealously guarded by gatekeepers because with payola, the promotion business could be as profitable as a casino.
The internet gave a voice to millions of people whose opinions and tastes had been muted by gateways such as letters to the editor sections or radio request lines (which waited till somebody asked for a number on the playlist.
The social networks (and Google) have created a situation that's turned many media outlets into clickbait farms or Amazon partners working on commission. To be fair, the media still has some power.
These new networks aren't to blame. The labels and movie studios want to reach actual customers, and while getting the occasional wretched ranking on Rotten Tomatoes can be a death sentence, being able to know what millions of people are thinking trumps knowledgeable critics and reviews every time.
Besides, those whose products get panned on social networks still can pay the media to invigorate efforts to sell that flopped. There are still plenty of crumbs that fall off the table to be had.
...indie labels...
One alternative that gave music outsiders a shot was indie labels which the industry always welcomes. It brings in fresh blood, and the newbies take on the expense and hassle of A&R, which allows major labels to poach proven talent and allows uncompromising artists to grow and move on greener pastures, and I mean green.
I should add, as I do in every blog, that many of the points being made are oversimplified for brevity's sake, so the countless number of exceptions are not noted.
...primary task...
The primary goal of a music article or review has never changed; it's to create engagement. If the people don't love what you do, then you settle for hate, as the entire middle ground between the extremes is the Snooze Zone.
"Nice" is for school plays and child dance recitals. The major leaguers are those who inspire worship or drive people to organize book or record burnings (not so easy in the digital media sector, thus the revival of expensive vinyl box sets).
The Critic or reporter who can inspire an audience to love a new artist's work is a rare bird. The rest have to settle for writing quickie hack articles to tap into trending subjects, create clickbait, inspire trolls to flood a site with traffic, and lure readers into pages with pop-up ads and deceptive scroll buttons that effectively utilize the successful principles of fly paper and punji stick pits.
The best way to be mediocre is to write lists of the best or worse. A Top Ten list gives the writer ten chances instead of one to inspire love or hate and hopefully retain the readers' attention for longer than five seconds.
Long articles take time to write and, like a Tik Tok video, are unlikely to be read to the end. That's energy better spent on playing video games or trolling other critics.
Music writers often write historical pieces that use recordings as references or milestones, which can lead to inaccuracies or flat-out wrong observations or conclusions.
...the first...
Thus "the first" this or that is actually "the first recorded," which is a different thing, but the point is to sell records, not memories.
The music industry is, and always has been, a business, and stretching or hiding the truth to sell a record is well within the boundaries of acceptable practice. But, like with politicians, a flashy show of virtue suffices.
Record labels generally sign established live draw artists, which means they are actually late to the party on the latest trends. Again, catching the "latest thing" in its infancy is overrated; the industry wants an audience ready to buy.
Plus, you can always claim that the product is prescient and revolutionary in press releases. No one will fact-check that sort of claim, even if two hundred artists claim to be the Godfather of Punk.
In the spirit of innovation, here is the Top Ten List Of Musical Firsts!
Note: The items are not in any particular order. These milestones are presented in the order that occurred to me while riffing on the theme.
1. The First Jazz Improvisor
The first was some guy thousands of years ago trying to figure out how to play the melody of a folk tune that the audience requested, which they hummed out of tune to try and give him an idea of what to play.
The first recorded instance was Louis Armstrong playing with The King Oliver Band in the 20s or thereabouts. I'll have to look it up later.
In the interests of being relevant to Baby Boomers, I'll join the huge crowd of internet reviewers who credit the Beatles with the invention of jazz.
2. The Rise Of Albums As The Ultimate Form Of Music Expression.
The album format, or a related group of songs as one work, was actually common in the early classical era. The works of Bach, for example, were sets of music set to the various dances of the time and intended to be guides for musicians to improvise.
The first album in musical history was by Emile Berliner in 1889.
In the interest of being relevant to the Punk Rock demographic to promote my Vella book, The Quitters, I'll concur with the multitude of commentators who cite Ramones' debut disc as the first album in musical history.
3. The First Symphony
Joseph Haydn is the composer most often credited with creating the Symphony form. Unfortunately, the technical explanation involves a lot of arcane languages and musical mansplaining, so we'll skip it.
Britannica.com cites the first recorded symphony as Beethoven's Fifth and Sixth Symphonies in 1913. Unfortunately, there's no mention of cover art.
In the interest of retaining the attention of millennials, I launch my sailboat into the mighty river of consensus that cites Blink-182's first album as the birthplace of the classical symphony form.
4. The First Female Rock Star
Women have always been famous in pop, classical, and other forms. However, the hip-rock crowd has always been resistant to female stars.
The first female rock Star, or as old farts know the term was probably Janis Joplin or Grace Slick.
In the interest of speaking only sooth, no matter the consequences, I stand with Gen-X historians that Pink or Olivia Newton-John was the first. However, in the interests of balance, I note that a vocal segment claims that AC/DC deserves the honor.
5. The First Rock Magazine
The New York Times cited "Crawdaddy" in 1966 as the first, though Billboard was first published in 1894. As the first rockers were African American, the history is probably incomplete.
However, this blogger wishes to give a voice to the neglected males who have become alienated by the confusing diversity of music and will list Playboy Magazine as the first rock publication, with Sports Illustrated as a close second.
6. The First Music Critic
I refer you to the earlier blog entry that definitively covers the history of critics.
However, to please those who prefer a shorter statement that gets right to the point, this blog cites that the first music critics were the Committee that ran the French Revolution and sent many people to the guillotine.
Though no specific names come up, one has to suppose that there must have been a few musical artists among the unfortunate beheaded that, like today, deserved the ultimate punishment for making disco or banjo music.
7. First Rock Opera
The idea of combining rock and opera is an old concept. One could cite Beethoven's Ninth or Wagner's operas as the first fusions of rock-level volume and power combined with really high-pitched singing.
The first rock Opera was "S.F. Sorrow" by the English rock group Pretty Things, and later on, the Who's Tommy, whose composer was good buddies with the rock press and thus was credited as the first.
Since opera is old people's music, it's fitting to once again credit the Beatles with creating the Rock Opera that made the most money.
Honorable mention is Richard Harris' 60s hit, "MacArthur Park," though its authenticity as a rock Opera needs to be confirmed by someone who's been able to listen to the song all the way to the end.
8. The First Lame Song
No one needs to be given examples. Everyone knows of one.
I do not shrink from the difficult questions of our troubled times and amplify the growing voices that shout from the rooftops that since the Beatles were the first at everything, they created the first lame song. "When I'm Sixty-Four" comes to mind as a good example.
9. The First Heavy Metal Artist
The Godfather of Metal was probably born in medieval times and, like today's leather and spandex crowd, didn't live long after singing about Satan in front of shocked crowds and members of the Inquisition.
The first recorded metal song is thought to be Link Wray's "Rumble," though others cite Steppenwolf's "Born To Be Wild," which sang of 'Heavy Metal Thunder."
The term has become meaningless as with other such words like "legendary" and "Godfather Of Punk" due to overuse, so it's time to invigorate the debate by stating that Taylor Swift is the singer who recorded the first metal song with her headbanging boogie, "Style."
10. The First Punk Song
Wearing torn clothes, bad hair, and chains probably go back to ancient Rome, as the description fits those who fed to the King of Beasts in the Colosseum.
In terms of recordings, the first Punk Song is said to be "Blitzkrieg Bop" by the Ramones if you live in NYC; otherwise, everybody's got an opinion.
However, Lester Bangs, the legendary rock critic, once said that a real punk song has to be offensive to even the hip, so he cited the music of the Carpenters as the ultimate Punk.
Though such pop music would certainly incite people to anarchy and violence, the obvious choices for the first Punk song are Jethro Tull's 'Aqualung," Elvis' "Love Me Tender," or Tammy Wynette's "Stand By Your Man," all of which have been documented as tunes that glorified violent tendencies, immoral behavior, and in the case of the last song, induced frigidity in women born after 1980.
Afterword: This blogger acknowledges that this top ten list won't be considered definitive but is pleased that this format only requires minimal creativity and effort.
He eagerly looks forward to enlightening readers and beefing up the word count in future blog entries with more top-ten lists.
"When I first tried to write, I had nothing to write about except a few paltry experiences which I neither understood nor appreciated. But I had no thoughts. I really didn't. I didn't even have the words with which to think. My experiences were so many meaningless pictures. But as I began to add to my knowledge and to my vocabulary, I saw something more in my experiences than mere pictures. I retained the pictures, and I found their interpretation. That was when I began to do good work..."
- Jack London (Martin Eden)
The 1942 biopic "Jack London" was a low-budget film that depicted important events in the life of one of the most popular and financially successful writers of his time.
The first hour of this 90-minute picture covers his early days as an Oyster Pirate, seaman, and gold prospector in the Yukon Gold Rush in a series of short vignettes.
One of his most exciting periods, his Yukon days, gets short shrift with a couple of short vignettes; the usual rowdy saloon scene and one where he talks to a dog about writing Call Of The Wild in a snowed-in cabin.
Yes, we all talk to dogs, but I was expecting something a little grander.
The last half hour is the most extended segment, which documents his days as a war correspondent covering the Russo-Japanese War in 1904, where London uncovers and exposes the "Yellow Peril" and Japan's ambition to conquer the White Race.
Though later reviewers (not all, but most) have labeled it as racist and wartime propaganda, the truth is that part of the film is probably a fairly accurate portrait of the famous author who was openly racist and anti-Asian (though he did express some regret about that aspect later in life). The film wasn't seen that way in 1942 but was part of a patriotic rallying around the flag in the early days of World War 2.
What's interesting is what Hollywood didn't show, which was that London was a Socialist. But, of course, in terms of wartime propaganda, there was no reason to leave that out, as Russia was technically an ally in W.W. 2.
It's not a surprise. Hollywood films about Socialists are rare, mainly because the industry is as committed to capitalism as the 18th Century Buccaneers sailing the Spanish Main. So London's idealism is dressed up as good old American populism.
There's no point in treating the movie as an outlier or a precautionary fable about racism or injustice. There were plenty of films from the era with the same variety of negative stereotypes, and many of today's movies will probably be judged similarly fifty or a hundred years from now.
The London film was seen at the time as a patriotic work, with the characters representing average Americans. Now it's a gallery of stereotypes and superior white males.
Times change, and so do attitudes, sort of. Many of the groundbreaking films of the 60s, for example, have undergone reevaluation by later generations and are seen as the same old themes dressed up in relevance or whatever would inspire an audience will buy a ticket.
The idea that movies have evolved and express more enlightened attitudes is sorta maybe kinda true, though the basic archetypes haven't changed much.
I won't go into all the details about the cast or film trivia because the movie wasn't that good and only recommended if you're studying sociological attitudes in Hollywood film history or are a Jack London completist. However, it's free on some movie sites if you're interested.
There were two things about the movie that did strike me as remarkable.
One that a writer was the hero. That's pretty rare.
Secondly, the film was set in an era when aspiring to be a writer had a mystique, that many of the rough and tumble anti-intellectual tough guys in the film saw it as a higher aim.
That aura isn't as strong now, like when you read the occasional snarky remarks about indie writers in the media, which is understandable. The press used to have the power to make or break stars, and thanks to social media, many news sites have been reduced to being amplifiers and Amazon Partners trying to get people to click on ads for a small commission.
Jack London was a man of action-type stud who, both in the movie and in real life, saw writing as a way to escape the limited options that an uneducated man had and the key to the kind of life he dreamed of having. Of course, his outlook was more complicated than that; of course, everyone's is, but that's a good way to describe it.
That's why London's works were in my reading rotation out there in the car in 2016. It wasn't that his tales of survival held the key to changing my situation; it was the idea that the intellect, in his case, developed through writing, was a path to a better place or position.
His rough-and-tumble adventure stories expressed a conviction that the primary life force was atavistic and that even the strongest end up giving way to some more potent force.
In other words, he believed that while life is a repeating cycle of birth, growth, decay, then death, being a writer gave him a way to rise above that or at least gain a little more control over destiny.
...tell it like it is...
I entered the homeless life as a former CAD Designer who believed in the Silicon Valley mythos and the power of music but exited as a committed writer.
The reason is that in terms of saving my sanity and self-esteem, writing wasn't just an identity. It's one of the few professions where a person can train themselves without having to go to school to be certified—very few literary legends I admire finished college.
Even the poorest person can write; thanks to the internet, there are no gatekeepers. So you can try and fail, get up and keep going and try to get better.
There are some early scenes in the movie where London is sitting in a bar full of rowdies, just writing away and observing all that's happening around him.
That's not some theatrical device like in a musical where the musician composes a hit song in one try. The sight of people observing, learning, and writing is common in coffee houses and libraries. It's a reality, a real thing, a part of the process.
...on the road...
One of the things you'll see when reading "On The Road With Al & Ivy: Volume One Anthology" is that many of the entries are about external things and events, not just my feelings and emotions. It wasn't a case of trying to ignore or distance myself from the often dire situations I found myself in.
It was about developing the power of observation, to see what was in front of me as opposed to always relating everything to how I was feeling. That balance (or juggling act) will differ for each person and can even shift according to the situation. I can't tell you how to see things and write about them. That's up to you.
A good example in the book in January is in the early chapters. I suddenly found myself in the middle of a chaotic police dragnet. My reaction was due to a combination of experience, fighting off panic, observing what was happening, and acting accordingly. It's not a stretch to say that good writing habits of observation and perception helped.
...the true situation...
By the time the blog became about my true situation (after a period of denial where I had pretended it was an adventure), I had looked over my options, and while continuing due diligence on job finding, etc., decided that while writing probably wouldn't lead to economic salvation, it certainly held the key to surviving the homeless life with my sanity and self-esteem intact.
I don't pretend in the novel that writing was a golden ticket out or that it produced a miracle in the classic sense of the word. It did save my life, self-esteem, and sanity.
When I wrote about my real life, the blog readership increased dramatically. I was used to having a total yearly audience of around 170,000 for my earlier ePinion.com instrument reviews. The blog hit that number in just a few months.
Moreover, the blog readers gave me enough donations to keep my car running, eat decent food and cover some critical bills. That was an indirect result of choosing the writer's path but as cherished and valued as any payment from a publisher.
...the path...
Choosing a writing path is also a discipline. Staying an observer kept my attention on the world around me. It became apparent that some of the romantic or mythical ways of surviving on the streets, like becoming a criminal or drug user, would complete the destruction of my life, just as Jack London decided as a young man not to continue being an Oyster Pirate.
For example, adhering to a discipline meant never trying meth, drinking booze, or accepting even a single toke from a joint offered by fellow homeless. There were times I was tempted, of course, but I saw to know where it'd get you.
That's not a moral statement. I understood the appeal of crime or drug use out there and rarely judged it (except for trafficking).
It was a realistic view; if you observed the surroundings, it was obvious that we were under constant scrutiny. Those guys offering me a hit of a joint were under parking lot cameras, and more than a few passersby would call the cops on any visible drug use by the homeless.
There was also visible and undercover surveillance from cops and citizen vigilantes.
... decisions...
I had to decide what to write about based on the situation at the time. Citizen crusaders called the cops on me a couple of times in one city. An arrest would have seriously hindered my goal of "getting out," but luckily, both times, the police took the trouble to question me and determined that the accusations were false.
I decided not to document those incidents out of respect for the police there, as they had a reputation as a reasonable and fair force with the homeless. They couldn't ignore a complaint.
Plus, it was a good idea to avoid confrontation with the "respectable" vigilantes, one of whom was obviously mentally ill and willing to engage in physical harassment.
The battles remained part of a private war that didn't make the papers or the blog but will be in my novel (as it's a work of fiction, and I can change the identity of the parties involved).
Who this or that person is or was isn't essential; deeper truths about behavior and society are best addressed in a novel (things that can't be literally described in a nonfiction book for legal reasons).
...bigger issues...
Being a writer helps you understand the bigger issues. For example, I could see that a rough and tumble life without a higher goal led nowhere. There's an old saying that nature punishes stupidity, and it's true. Acting impulsively or without thinking almost always leads to some problems or trouble.
Seeing how street toughs often reacted to being homeless was sad and instructive. They were among the quickest to strike out, become predatory, inflict shame on themselves, or if with a female, become parasitic or abusive.
That is unless that energy and strength were guided by intelligence. Hollywood movies are full of street toughs who become slick predators to survive. In real life, those guys are hounded by the police, spend a lot of time in jail, and are doomed to be street lifers.
There'll be both intelligent and dumb types in the novel. There's one who led a low-level crew that trafficked everything from drugs to EBT cards and another who started off trying to be a slick con artist but was able to reverse course and choose the smart way out.
...back to London...
I'm sure London saw the same things; Strong brawlers, adventurers, winners, and losers. But, after living with them (and admiring them), he also noticed that they were stuck in a cycle that could only spiral downwards.
I was homeless for 13 months, long enough to see some strong people devolve into addicts and petty criminals because they couldn't see past a life that only seemed manageable with drugs or predatory behavior.
The creation and writing process might not immediately lead to success, but most of us will be helped or run across an opportunity. The state you're in when that happens is essential. You have a good chance of missing the opening life offers if stoned off your ass or in jail.
I wrote about my life as best I could and am still learning how. However, writing did the same thing for me as Jack London, a choice that led to a better life.
...help and discipline...
My blog writing was good enough to move people to help, and the discipline kept me in a place so that when the hands reached out, I could see it and take advantage of the generosity and help. In other words, try to stay worthy of help.
I can't say that the Jack London pic was an inspiration or even a good movie, but it did remind me why London was one of the writers I admire; he was living proof that writing can save a life, and after surviving homelessness, I know he was right.
Details on the upcoming Vella version in January and the eBook in Summer 2033.
I'll be releasing a Vella version of "On The Road With Al & Ivy: The Novel" in early January 2023. The working title was "Hiding in Plain Sight," but I'm not sure if it'll be used for the Summer eBook. My reasoning is that I've written under the On The Road With Al & Ivy title for almost seven years now, it has the best name recognition, and the other tag has already been used in several other books and works.
The Vella and Kindle eBook will differ in some respects. The main difference is that the latter will be illustrated. Each chapter will begin with a photo, collage, or drawing, a prelude of prose or poetry, and the first paragraph.
The main reason is that the Vella environment doesn't handle graphic illustrations. Therefore, the openings will appear as highlighted text.
Those preludes serve an essential purpose in terms of story flow, which sometimes will be a complex blend of first and third-person narration.
I can't give out too many details; otherwise, it'll create too many spoilers. I have to be careful with the synopsis also for the same reason.
However, in brief, the book opens with the narrator's arrival in the City of Gilroy in the summer of 2016. He's been forced to go there after being driven south by a California highway Patrolman who decided to make him the scapegoat for an incident at a rest stop frequented by car homeless. Flashbacks and backstory vignettes will cover that part of the story.
The main character, who happens to be called Al (and his dog, Ivy), thinks he's now a wily veteran of the streets and has correctly sized up the area. His observations are accurate, and those opening passages serve as exposition to introduce the scene and many of the major characters.
Al doesn't know that he's only a couple of weeks from a string of disastrous events that nearly force him to become a "backpacker," forced to live out in the levee area in a camp.
The first few chapters detail those incidents, providing the reader with a detailed look at the people who lived in that homeless community.
My plan with the Vella version is to load around 8-10 episodes in the first week, followed by more in the second if all goes well. Then, I'll upload the subsequent chapters as each is completed. Many of the chapters can't be split up into the standard serial length of 600-1200 words, as this will be “a book” rather than a a string of episodes. The chapters will run more in the 1700-2500 range.
The December blog entry will have a more detailed "Reader Guide," as I'll have a clearer idea of how the Vella version will be presented. In addition, the serial format allows me to add more material and flesh out the other characters.
Most of the blog entries from 2017 have sections that I intended to serve as a Readers Guide and foreshadow a lot of what the novel will be about. But, of course, that was always part of the planning for the book.
I'll explain more about why I chose 2023 to be the year, but I will say that it's lived inside my head for almost seven years, and it's a relief to move it out.
I recommend reading the Volume One compilation, which is free for Kindle Unlimited readers. I'll run a free promotion in conjunction with the debut. The novel doesn't parallel the blogs, but there are a lot of backstories there that'll make it an even better reading experience.
I should also note that my current Vella books are for fun, both mine and the readers. This novel will be complex, reflect seven years of constant editing and revision, and be nothing like my other books.
However, my feeling is if you like my blog, you'll enjoy the book.
More details to come in December!
Here's an update on each of my Vella books:
The Quitters
https://www.amazon.com/kindle-vella/story/B09PC3L6PC
It's the first book, and after ten months, it's finally developing an audience, and the stats are trending upward this month. I think it's due to the blog and the new book/music video short format I'm using for its promotion. I’ve moved the plot lines away from potentially over technical descriptions of playing live to more emphasis on the personalities and in particular, the main character Nym. Also, some of the romance elements are now coming into play.
It's at 31 episodes, though as an ebook, we're talking maybe 15 traditional-length chapters. I'm keeping the format episodic and short, kind of like a weekly TV show, which works for Vella but will need to be restructured for the ebook.
I, Ivy
https://www.amazon.com/kindle-vella/story/B0B3RCBT4D
The story got off to a decent start, but I didn't notice that as it's obvious now that the daily totals on the Vella dashboard can differ or not jibe with the monthly or overall total, which have to be accurate as those numbers determine the royalty and bonus payouts. I'll be paying more attention to this one in November, as it’s being read more than I thought. The latest chapter, Ivy’s view of the efforts by a human to give her a pill should strike a familiar chord.
The Forbidden Lost Gospels Of Murgatroyde
https://www.amazon.com/kindle-vella/story/B0BJ2TW4P1
This is a new one, though it'll be the most familiar to blog readers. I'll be changing the format of the blog in November, and putting the Lost Gospels here will allow me to fully expand that line of humor and satire in a way that simply being a blog feature doesn't permit.
The Boogie Underground Think Tank: How To Survive The End Of Civilization
https://www.amazon.com/kindle-vella/story/B0BG6LNXTG
This one is a revival of an old humor column I ran in my old "Delta Snake Blues News" publication in the 90s and 2000s. The slant is about survival in the upcoming hard times, but it really will be topical and cover subjects that are offbeat but relevant. The next one coming in a few days will be "How To Shop For The Perfect Expert," which obviously will be a humorous commentary on the use of experts in general.
The Adventures Of Queen Khleopahtra: Ruler Of Egypt, Time Traveler, and Literary Detective
https://www.amazon.com/kindle-vella/story/B0BJC122G7
This is another new one and will be a fun fusion of the old "Peabody and Sherman" cartoon, which was about a time-traveling dog and boy, Robert Graves' often satirical take on history, and the old "Fractured Fairy Tales" cartoon that used to be featured on the "Rocky And Bullwinkle Show."
I chose Khleopahtra as the main character because it will offer the widest range of literary situations to explore, and I happened to have a cool drawing of her and liked the idea of expanding the character. After reading the first episode, you'll agree that the possibilities are endless.
In the latest episodes, we meet Achilles and the poet Homer, who will become recurring characters!
- Al Handa
October 2022
The ebook “On The Road With Al & Ivy: The Anthology Volume 1 2016-2018 is now on Kindle Unlimited!
I’ll run free promotions later this month, but members can read it for free now.
Please check out and listen to my music on Spotify, YouTube, Apple Music and other music sites. Please add any cuts you like to your playlists!
I Can Make It To Christmas by Mark McGraw (of Handa-McGraw International). F IPlease check out and listen to Mark McGraw’s Christmas single from his album on Bandcamp,Can
