Boogie Underground Media Presents: Special Preview - Episode One of “I, Ivy”

Special Preview: Vella book "I,Ivy"

Episode 1

I am Ivy, and I belong to the ancient Shitzu tribe known as "Dragon Dogs" to the Chinese and, in my case, "Such A Sweetie" to the rest of the world. My hair is almost all white with peach-colored ears; from what people say, it's a rare coloration and soft to the touch.

I came into the world a few years before my ascension to the status of a master with servant. I was a vivacious young maiden sought after by numerous male suitors.

The first thing many men try to do with a foxy little Shih Tzu is keep 'em barefoot and pregnant to make puppies to sell. They do that to a Shih Tzu and keep her in a cage to boot, which hasn't been done to women since the time of the Prophets; thus, my furry bodice was pressed into the service of menkind and their insensate obsession for commerce.

I was rescued by a woman who, after not being able to convince the police that an illegal puppy farm was operating out of a barber shop, went undercover and posed as a customer who wanted a "teacup" Shih Tzu for the going price of 200.00. After being offered one, she presented the evidence to the cops and instructed them to raid the place or receive a pestilent curse from a formidable "cailleach bán," that is to say, herself.

I, along with my brothers and sisters, were saved and prepared, that is to say, trained to be suitable for adoption in a back room of a Vet's office that had a sign that read "Shitzu U." We were to be taught "social skills" and basic commands like "sit" and "roll over."

The strangest was learning to pee on what looked like a big diaper, which was confusing because our cages at the puppy farm were lined with those. We dogs don't go where we sleep.

My education at Shitzu U began almost immediately after the rescue. I agreed it was necessary because my only job skill is being irresistibly cute and fluffy. While that can take a goddess like me a long way, I don't want to depend on men if the puppy farm indicates such a path's success.

The new adoptee course is like a human job orientation because it teaches us how to be good dogs for our new masters. From what I've heard, having a job is like being a pet, except the boss doesn't have to be nice and give treats.

Some of the skills taught, like obeying commands, seemed counterintuitive, as there's no reason to sit for a treat, and it's unclear what a "bad dog" is.

There soon seemed to be disagreement about that with the humans in charge too, and after a loud barking session, our rescuer, a woman named Jezebel, took over and told us to forget what we'd been taught. Jezebel's course made more sense to a shitzu, like how to chew a piece of cheese without swallowing the pill hidden inside and make a walk last longer by delaying the poo, as that's often the signal to go back inside.

The Vet in charge of the office didn't like our new curriculum, but Jezebel had the fiercer bark, so he had to tuck his tail in and be submissive. He doesn't have a rail, but the look on his face has the same vibe.

She also changed the adoption process; the probation period is now six months to ensure that we babies receive the best care and are only adopted by those who meet her standards. Our studies at Shitzu U now include recognizing the ten danger signs of a bad owner, which are to be promptly reported if recognized.

But more on my education later; it's time to take a nap.

On The Road With Al And Ivy: Special Preview For Al Handa’s New Kindle Vella book, “I, Ivy”

This entry is to announce that announce and preview my newest Kindle Vella book, "I, Ivy," and it's an imaginary autobiography about Professor Ivy Of Shitzu U, edited and written by me from various fictitious sources. The first three chapters are live now (links at the end of this blog).

"I, Ivy" is inspired by Natsume Soseki's "I Am A Cat," which was a big hit in Japan as a serial in 1905 and eventually compiled into three volumes.

The books evolved, with the first being episodic and a fusion of imaginary cat stream of consciousness that included biographical details and sometimes snarky comments about the human condition. 

What made it a hit was that the satire was on target but rarely vicious. Soeseki's feline narrator was certainly peevish but described the personalities involved as ones who had faults and quirks rather than being good or evil.

In other words, there's an undercurrent of empathy and acceptance that makes the reader realize that we're all very much the same and most have good intentions.

Ivy's narrative is, of course, going to be different due to being a dog, but those who've read the Japanese classic will recognize the worldly and slightly conceited viewpoint that hopefully will also be funny and entertaining.

I should note that because of my admiration for Soeseki's work, I ran the episodes through a plagiarism checker to ensure that no subconscious copying occurred.

Another difference is that "I Am A Cat" was a commentary on Japanese culture, and the Ivy book is about a precocious Shih Tzu living in the United States.

The main character has been used as a persona in this blog under the name "Professor Ivydog of Shitzu U." The main reason is to have an obviously fake expert source for comic effect. There are other levels to it, but there's no need to go into that.

The title is a reference to the famous (or infamous to some) beat novel "I, Jan Creamer," which has been imitated so many times that I would have used a different title except that "I, Ivy" has a nice ring to it and it works. Other than that, my book has very little or no similarity to that Beat era milestone.

Robert Graves' 1934 "I, Claudius" predates the Cremer book, but few probably knew that in 1964.

The narrative style is first person, which is my favorite way to tell a story and intended to be a narrative in the same vein as other loose and gossipy works like "I, Claudius" and the 1759 book "Tristram Shandy" by Laurence Sterne.

The chronology isn't linear. The first chapter is like someone introducing him or herself and jumps around in time like in a casual conversation.

The second chapter describes Ivy's rescue and adoption (more or less), and the third is about arriving at her new home.

I introduce two characters who'll be regulars, the vet named Stan, and Ivy's rescuer, an eccentric woman who calls herself Jezebel (for reasons outlined in the book).

Jezebel is a sort of guardian angel and mentor to Ivy. While her antics may come off as eccentric, you'll find that many people who dedicate themselves to an uncompromising lifestyle are perceived the same way.

Finally, I should note that this is a work of fiction intended as entertainment and any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

I've taken a lot of liberties with the Ivy character, but to paraphrase Rousseau, her characterization may be short on facts, but not on the truth.

This book is a tribute to a good friend and companion and I'll enjoy exploring this character over the next few months.

The first three chapters are free, and I hope you'll check those out and enjoy the story. I'll also appreciate it if you leave a thumbs up if you visit. 

This is the direct link: 

https://www.amazon.com/kindle-vella/episode/B0B3R5DX27

Note: This serial can be accessed in the Kindle app. Just search for Al Handa or "I, Ivy" and it should come up.

The Al & Ivy Homeless Literary Journal Archive:

There are earlier blog entries on the Delta Snake Review section of this site that aren't on the On The Road page:
http://deltasnake.blogspot.com

Cover Reveal For Hide In Plain Sight

This is the cover for the upcoming book, Hide In Plain Sight, hopefully out sometime in 2022.

-Al Handa

djboogieunderground@gmail.com

Also check out my channel on YouTube, The Electric Fog Factory!

...And check out my other Kindle Vella book, The Quitters!

The Quitters Update - May 2022

The book is up to 20 chapters, though that's due to keeping the episodes short to prevent each from being too expensive. My preference would be for less and each to be twice as long so more detail and backstory can be added. 

What I'm planning to do is end this book sometime during July with the main character heading to Southern California. Instead of making it a very long series, I'll continue Nym's adventures there into a second book and that'll allow me to extend the story into the early 80s. I haven't decided if the character will go into synth pop, new wave or power pop yet. It's been fun creating this book, so I'll just keep writing it on the fly and explore.

I'm going to compile the episodes in the first book and after revising it, put it out as an eBook. I can add a lot of material that would have added a lot of color and context to the story but slowed the pacing down in the Kindle Vella episodic format. For example, I had planned to add a running narrative about the English and New York punk scenes to the book, but left a lot of that material out. The eBook version will give the reader a fuller view of the late 70s punk movement and also more about how the Rock Establishment reacted to it.

I did integrate some of that into the episodes, but the fuller chapters struck me as being more appropriate for a full novel one can read at a more leisurely pace. I enjoy the Vella format as it's nice to essentially get paid to develop a story, but it's obvious that a serial and a discrete novel are two different types of projects. Each has it's advantages.

Hide In Plain Sight Update - May 2022

One major change is that I've decided to use the original ending that was in the early drafts. The events in my book actually ended a few weeks before Ivy passed away, and including that sad time made it necessary to rewrite the second half, or more specifically, create a new set of chapters to cover that and the aftermath. The book had to be built up to a different ending and the new chapters never felt like a good fit.

The original drafts were a bit dark, though I rarely revised the wording of the key passages. One of the things I had to deal with out there was the constant fear and fatigue from irregular sleep. That affected how I behaved and it shows in the pacing and wording of the early chapters. It’s important to keep that feel, as the later chapters are about coming to terms with the situation and the help that people on the Internet began to give me. 

I struggled out there, but Ivy, a rescue dog with some issues from her past began to blossom and became quite happy and settled. She became my therapy dog and her part of the book should be a celebration of all that, and how inspirational it was. 

The best tribute would be to put out the book as originally planned, where both Ivy and I found a way to survive and even find some happiness out there, as unlikely as that might seem to someone who hasn't been a homeless person.

Even the worst luck eventually changes. Unless one can shed the shame reflex, blame, depression and fear and keep oneself whole, you won't be in any condition to respond when the opportunity to get out comes along. I think the original version does a good job of showing how we managed that. Having everything in it is more like a biography, which is a different kind of book, and not my intent.

The original book was 3/4 done. That means it should be completed for sure this year and it'll feel good to finally get it out. To paraphrase Henry Miller, I want to get this book done so I can get working in the next one.

..Chapter Excerpts...

Chapter 4: Nym’s Cool World

"It's a crisp August evening in the sin section of Broadway Street. The summer crowds are gone, and the sound of cars and busses are replaced by the shrill, desperate pitches of strip joint barkers now fishing in depleted waters.

Night is the best time, there's less detail, and the world’s simpler. It's easier to be me, enjoying the feeling of knowing I’m coming back to play again.

I’m skipping the third band, and just workin' on my Punk 'tude outside the pinball parlor next door. I'm puffing on a French cig, which adds cool and helps me resist the rich smell of Phillipino food from the restaurant section of the club. My macaroni and cheese dinner with a coke chaser is starting to wear off."

Chapter 5: The Negatives: A Punk Action Movie In Real Life

"The crowd’s colliding like bumper cars, so Ross jumps and twists in the air, giving the tourists a picture of wild, chaotic energy. 

It's like a modern art painting in motion! The Negatives' show has something for everyone! 

I'll have to ask Ross how he manages to get so much of his tongue hanging out like that. Whenever I try, I start gagging.

The fourth song, "Planet Toe Jam" is slower, which cools down the slam dancing. They want the crowd to just stand there, which sets up what's coming next. Plus in a longer set, it helps to have a romantic number so people can slow dance if they want to."

Chapter 6: Herman Hesse's Glass Bead Game - The Punk Version

"I gotta say he looks the part of a great artist; a big burly skinhead type who named his band after a Hermann Hesse novel. He says names like "Steely Dan" from Burroughs' "Naked Lunch," are too New York for his taste. Besides, being named after a dildo is so 60s!

I took Ida to see his show last month, and after she calmed down and agreed to not press charges, described the act as "Butt Love horseplay masquerading as performance art. It's definitely not entertainment."

I told Stew what she said, and he had the comment added to the group's press kit and asked me to thank her for the great review!"

Chapter 7: Marly Tells A Punk Bedtime Story

"Marly cuts the horn, then freezes like a brave knight who's just slain a dragon, which seems odd until I realize that some tourists are taking pictures. 

I subtly turn so my left side faces the cameras and pout at the ceiling. I take the goolie out of my mouth and hold it with two fingers near my chin, so the smoke curls near my face. Keeping it in your mouth makes you look like a puppy chewing on a biscuit, not very punk."

Chapter 8: Celebration At The Pup Chuck Wagon 24 Hour Hot Dog Diner

"There's no better place for a rising star to bask in new found glory than Pup Chuck Wagon, the 24 hour hot dog diner, a haven for San Franciscans who have more coolness than cash. Cheap food and everything you sit or eat on is washable!

I can afford a mustard dog, small fries and coffee if I use my bus money. It's only a half hour walk home and this night of achievement calls for a feast!"

Chapter 9: Nym's Walk Home

"How did you know I spent my bus fare?"

Jesus guy sighs, "You passed a bus stop on Stockton without stopping, I'd have given you the fare but Phil came, so I just took the next bus."

"You assumed Phil would give me fare money?"

"I ordained it, it's what I do child, besides, I can't go giving you cash every time you go broke, my wallet would be so light it'd float me back into Heaven and I'd have to do the Resurrection all over again."

End of excerpts...click link below to continue (for free of course)

https://www.amazon.com/kindle-vella/episode/B09PC1XQKB?ref_=d6k_applink_bb_dls